Back again :(
Friday, November 11, 2011
I feel so depressed realizing I haven't blogged since AUGUST and haven't logged in almost as much time How sad.
So, I'm back. I'm going to work my way through the "Becks Diet Solution" book and workbook with my friend from work, in hopes we'll find comfort and accountability to each other.
I also signed into and posted at a picky eaters forum online, which I really liked. this was my post:
New here, and glad to see those who struggle in the SAME ways I do with eating habits.
I have been a picky eater from babyhood according to my mom. My choices of foods have ranged somewhat over the years, what affects me most in my opinion is my disdain for any vegetables except corn, carrots and potatos. I used to eat peas out of a can, but haven't done that in a long time and I don't know if vegetarian beans counts, but I enjoy them too.
I am very very blessed that I have a husband who is very non-judgmental (he's a great eater- likes a LOT of things), and for the most part I don't have social problems from it. If I don't like what's on my plate I just don't eat it, and I'm ok with it. What worries me is my health. I have been overweight my whole life with the exception of adolescence when I had a hyper thyroid and became tooo thin.
My weight has been a much more pervasive problem for me, affecting my self-esteem, and these days it's affecting my health more - I have plantar fasciitis and a heel spur which are taking a VERY long time to heal if at all. Diagnosed in August, I'm not sure if they will heal significantly with minimal intervention.
When I first found out about my foot and the prognosis I was beside myself, devastated. I felt so very out of control because without the ability to exercise, the only way to losing weight was to change my diet - and well, I KNOW you all understand how scary THAT IS!!
I also have a self-discipline problem in that if I don't have very specific structure for those activities/goals/tasks that are not intrinsically appealing, I have low productivity. This too affects the healing of my foot, as well as developing an exercise regimen. I did have a good few years starting in 1999. I was really gaining weight but I discovered ballroom dancing and hiking which together helped me tremendously. Unfortunately my current condition allows me to do neither and no other exercise appeals to me enough to make it a priority, even though I keep telling myself my health is my first priority.
Feeling depressed just thinking about it all.
I'm also a Christian, so I have often struggled with the sense that I am dishonoring my Lord by not taking the best care of the "temple" He has given me, which plays into my self-esteem issues.