SANDYMITCHELL

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secret eating unhappiness

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I've been on this journey so many times before. I'm panicking now because having lost 6 and half stone (91lbs) but I find myself slipping into old habits.
I felt so sure that THIS TIME it would stay off forever, but now I see that my lovely size 14 (UK) clothes are getting tight and the scales show an increase of 10lbs. I need to stop this NOW.
I know what the problem is - I've started secret eating again. I feel so ashamed of myself that I crave this instant gratification without thought for all the hard work it has taken me to get this far.
On my way home from a meeting last night I heard the end of a radio programme which was about bad habits - and that is exactly what I am falling back into - a bad habit.
So, the radio-man said that if you wrote everything down (doh!) then you would be less likely to overeat or slip up because it was there in black and white. I opened my inbox this morning and a really inspirational blog got me fired up again and it occurred to me that I had stopped recording on my Spark Page the daily intake of food!
THEN - my sister called to say that it was a beautiful day and we should go for a walk along the coastal path...
These 3 things happening one after the other may be coincidence but I feel happier and have a sense of 'rightness' that today is the day I get back on eating to live and not the other way round.
Never shared these things with anyone before so it's nice to keep this angst diary xx
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SANDYMITCHELL
    Hi RAWCOOKIE - I know exactly how you are feeling. I have so much energy and enthusiasm and all my aches and pains go away when I eat raw. But it takes quite a lot of planning and organising to make dehydrated goodies or having to use all my kitchen equipment to make something.
    Keep at it - it WILL work for you - we both know that from previous experience!
    Be strong this week :-) emoticon
    1929 days ago
  • RAWCOOKIE
    I am learning that I cannot have anything with wheat or sugar or dairy in the house without eating the whole lot! That lovely loaf of bread that I think will last a week will be gone in a day. And if I accept something with that sugar, fat, wheat combo - it will lead to the craving for more of the same. It is hard in our society to get support from others for this - as these foods are SO prevalent in everyday eating situations. The only time I have felt liberated from this was during a year when I ate only raw vegan foods - I felt great! But I've slipped back again - and am now aiming to get back to the raw vegan foods again.

    1930 days ago
  • SANDYMITCHELL
    Thanks Ponyfarmer my weakness is wheat and it affects me so badly .
    I sooo related to your comment about getting a little over confident. I think 'oh well, I've lost X lbs a sandwich etc wont hurt' or 'well if I lost all that weight once I can do it again'.
    Except of course, it never follows thru. The fog comes down and I cease to be a normal rational being!!
    Anyways sounds like you are getting a handle on things.
    Good luck
    emoticon
    1942 days ago
  • PONYFARMER
    You do not know me but since SP shares blogs of a friends I perked up at your blog title, in the past I was a major secret eater as well.

    I loved your blog, it was succinct and to the point and hit me right in the stomach. I have already lost 70 pounds and still needed to lose another 70 but my weight loss not only stopped, I gained 11 pounds since Thanksgiving.

    I got a tiny bit to sure of myself and well it has bit me in the bum. While secret eating used to be an issue this time, for me, it was allowing sugar back into my house. I was sure that I could control it but I lied and after putting weight back on, my life was spinning out of control and before I knew it Ben and Jerry had moved into my house.

    I have since moved them out and I am pledging to not only write everything down that goes into my mouth but also to let the grip that sugar has on me go and begin again to finish this, forever. I cannot do that until I get to the finish. Thank you for this blog, it helped me to see clearly and focus on what needed to happen and get back on track.
    1942 days ago
  • SANDYMITCHELL
    I'm blown away by the support of fellow members - thank you all so much. It makes the journey a little easier.
    1942 days ago
  • SUMTHINGSPECIAL
    It's not easy - but you are well on your way. Sometimes - just knowing what we need to do - and what we are doing to sabotage it - can move us in the right direction. Here's to knowing what you need - and striving!

    Good Job.

    Sumay
    1943 days ago
  • LISBETHSALANDER
    Great job realizing that the down slide has to stop. I used to suffer from the night eating (for years) and I had to cut out the sugar-fat-salt combo. I am the master of my own eating now, and I can tell when I have eaten something that I wasn't aware was loaded with sugar-fat-salt because I will feel the "urge." If I eat bread, even whole meal breads, I do not lose weight. I can't explain it but I try to listen to my body. I can eat brown rice, though. And whole grain polenta.
    You will find your way back. Tracking and measuring is key. I use a scale for almost everything -- it's just easier for me. Best of luck to you. I still eat avocado, I am just careful that I'm not combining it with salt and sugar. Most of the time the "sugar" in a combo is in the form of refined flour so I avoid that like the plague.
    I support your new start and wish you success meeting your goals.
    1943 days ago
  • TIME2BLOOM4ME
    emoticon
    1943 days ago
  • SETAGOAL1
    You have not given up on yourself. You now know you are the only one that can make it happen for you.

    You have the power to succeed or fail.

    You have chosen to succeed.

    Few baby steps complete a long journey

    Writing is progress!!!

    Janet emoticon
    2414 days ago
  • SANDYMITCHELL
    Thank you so much. It is so shameful this secret eating. I just don't know why I do it - the only person I am cheating and lying to is myself really.
    What helped me to lose so much weight in the first place was (a) going to a therapist/hypnotist to make me think I had a gastric band fitted COMBINED with cutting out all white processed carbs (bread, potatoes, pasta, rice) I still eat a curry - but no rice or breads, I still eat a nut roast dinner with gravy and veg - but no potatoes or yorkshire puddings! I seem to be able to eat avocadoes, bananas, nuts, beans etc without putting on weight - but as soon as I add bread...
    I am vegan so it's a little different I guess.
    I think everyone is different and no "one size fits all" eating plan works.
    I take my hat off to you for sticking to your guns and continuing to eat healthily and exercise - good luck on your journey xx
    2415 days ago
  • GHOSTFLAMES
    I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING I LOST 30 AND PUJT IT ALL BACK ON AND IT HAS BEEN A COUPLE YEARS NOW I AM TRYING TO GET MY MIND SET THE WAY IT WAS WHEN I STARTED SPARK AND IT JUST IS NOT HAPPENING.I HAVE BEEN EATING EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I HAVE STAYED HERE I WON'T GIVE UP. I CONTINUES TO EXERCISE DAILY AND EAT MY 5 FRUITS AND VEGGIES AND DRINK MY WATER AND TALK HERE DAILY BUT STUCK AT THE WEIGHT NEED TO LOSE 60 POUNDS AND WONDERING IF I EVER WILL.
    SO WE WILL DO THIS WE ARE WORTH IT AND WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL JUST ASK TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK, CHAR
    2415 days ago
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