30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 34,838


Wednesday, November 09, 2011

After failing to lead my team in the fall challenge, I have come to realize that my eating habits are serious and I am seeking help with that. Being team leader was enough for so long to help me keep control of my eating, but for some reason I couldn't hold on this time around and as I put all the pounds back on that I worked so hard for I was so ashamed I had to just run. I need spark in my life, I need my team, I need the support more than ever, but unfortunately it just isn't enough. I do not have the support at home that I need to do this, I have a wonderful husband but he doesn't struggle the way I do, he can eat whatever whenever and it never affects him. He has a physically active job and I have a desk job.

Before when I left spark a few years ago, I left for the same reason, I was done working so hard. I was done missing all the foods I loved. And when I came back I was fired up and ready to conquer the world. This time I am not. This time I come back with my head down, and spirits low. I know I can do it, deep down it's there, but I have to work even harder to have it. I have to reach deep inside, so much that I am reaching outside. I do not have the strength to do this on my own. I have to put my struggles in the hands of a higher power of someone that can handle anything given to him. I accepted Jesus Christ many years ago, but it's interesting that I only allow him in on certain parts of my life and for some reason my eating and overeating I have felt is my issue and not his, that i can easily control it, but obviously this is not the case. I have gone from 275 down to 180 back up to 260 back down to 185 back up to now 245. Obviously I cannot do it on my own.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am glad to hear from you. Don't beat yourself up. It will happen. It is so hard with such a busy life. Maybe you should just work on maintaining for a while and then slowly ease into loosing. You are such a great positive person. I hate to see you beat yourself up for this one area. Think about what a wonderful mother, wife, and worker you are. You are a great leader and helped inspire me in my weight loss. I believe in you.
    2383 days ago
  • IVY_13
    I worried about you when I didn't see you on the team. I completely understand. I worked mynbutt off last challenge and I have gained every single pound back and haven't weighed myself in weeks. I fled too. I have no energy to even try anymore. But like you, I know somewhere that I can do this. I just need to let people help me. I just need to do what God has already told me will work for me. It's just so hard to let go of those doubts, you know.

    Never be ashamed to admit you're struggling. It's the only way to get help.
    2386 days ago
    Keep your head up because you can get help here!!
    2387 days ago
    My first attempts were like yours. I would give up the food that I loved to stay on a diet. Now I have learned its not about going on a diet, its about living life, MY LIFE and YOUR LIFE. I refuse to give up some of my favorites, such as movie night at home wtih popcorn and butter, yes butter. Any my chocolate. I just make my focus on overall health getting in my fruits and veggies, getting the right nutrients and staying in my calorie range. Theres nothing I have fully cut out, other that the old me. Just one thing at a time, take it slow, make it your decision, and be honnest to yourself about everything.
    2387 days ago
    You know, the Lord it good. I can relate to you. Why is it easy to pray for your kids, your home, your family, money, but, for some reason, it is soooo hard to ask the Lord for help shedding pounds? I know for me, it is a testing of my faith. I am with you, I can't get the weight off, it just sticks to my hips....and, I like you, have failed to pray about this....so...

    His word says where two or more are gathered together, there HE is....let's pray for each other. We can lean on each other. Hang in there....one moment at a time!!

    2388 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by TAV0120