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Ranting and feeling sorry for myself - just bear with me.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Today is not a good day by any measure.

- First my FIL had to make a difficult decision to put my MIL in the hospital (she is 90, has not been eating-only weighs 83 pounds -, she has been unable to walk for the past week and half, she is not always lucid and she cannot sleep) When my FIL tried to explain to her his decision she began crying and reminding him that he promised not to EVER put her in the hospital or nursing home - which is where she may end up. I feel so bad for him.

- Second- my son, the one who is now a lawyer, was going to walk with me today. When I got there he was playing an online video game and was not ready and would not be for 15 minutes! He did not want to end his "quest" on the game. I was talking to him about his upcoming move to Columbus (he has a fellowship with the house of representatives in the state house). He is having a hard time finding folks to help him make the move and was wanting me to drive the U-Haul truck back from Columbus. Well for starters I am not at all comfortable driving a 16' truck 130 miles. When I suggested his wife ride back with me - she is not moving until end of December - he tells me that would not be a good idea. Because I am her MIL. and he was not joking - What the heck does that mean? I found that to be very insulting. I feel like he is ashamed of me. Well I left after that feeling very hurt. While I was driving home I actually had a very good plan for him but still stinging by his behavior toward me I sent him a text letting him know how he hurt me and that sometimes I have valid plans and that I just talk them out to tweak them. I also told him I will not bother him any more.

-Third- found out that I have Restless Leg Syndrome and heavy exercise only makes it worse! That is why I have been unable to sleep. I try to sleep and my legs feel like fire ants are swarming my legs. I don't know what to do. I did seek additional information from every site I could and they pretty much concur.

I apologize for ranting but today just SUCKS!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It has taken me a while to catch up on all of my SPARK friend blogs. I am so sorry to hear you had so much to deal with two weeks ago. I hope everything has worked out for the best.

    Children can be so self centered. I hope your son has come around and realizes he should not treat you that way.

    NOTE: Video games are one of many things I think we would be better off without.
    2935 days ago
    emoticon So sorry you had a rough day. Hope today is going better.
    2947 days ago
    I'm sorry yesterday was not a good one. I hope today is better. emoticon
    2947 days ago
  • RFJSJ50
    The decision about your MIL is a hard and heartbreaking one to make. We had to do the same for my grandmother and it was extremely difficult. We had to keep reminding ourselves that it was for HER sake, that her problems were beyond our abilities to care for at that time and we wanted her to be in a place where people could give her that help. My prayers are with her, you, your FIL, and the rest of your family.
    If you don't feel comfortable driving the truck - DON'T! Truthfully, it's your son's problem and he can figure out a way to handle it. Is it a rented truck? They can often be left at a branch at the destination if it is.
    I know how you feel about being "let down" on your walking plans (and the conversation didn't help!). That happens to me frequently! I've been walking at Firestone alone, except for the dog, every day and am enjoying it. Mari did meet me and walk yesterday afternoon. I'd love to walk with you but I know I would slow you down. Walking is painful at times and I need to stop for a few minutes. I only walk about 1 mile in 30 minutes, maybe a little faster. In fact, I'm heading over to Firestone in about a half hour and am planning to walk both the Redwing and Willow trails or a combination of them.
    Don't let the comments of others affect your view of yourself - don't worry about the MIL comment - you know the relationship you have with her.
    Stay determined and positive!
    2948 days ago
    Wow, you had quite a day. I do hope your son recognizes that he was very rude to you.
    Your FIL is in an unenviable position, but it sounds like he is doing the best thing for your MIL. If he cannot care for her, it would be cruel to have her wasting away. I hope things improve.
    2948 days ago
    Let it out, girl! Sorry you had a bad day emoticon
    2948 days ago
    That stinks. Bad days are going around right now! I hope you and your son can work it out. My mother has restless leg, and she finds that calcium helps her with it. If she goes down too low she has flare ups.
    2948 days ago
    Sorry you are having such a bad time. I am terrible at comforting words so I'll just leave it at that. Feel better.
    2948 days ago
    I am sorry that you have had a crappy day. Go home and do something fun, go to bed early, and start again tomorrow. Hang in there!
    2948 days ago
    Sorry to hear it has been such a crap day, ranting helps!!!! Remember, there is no evil that last 100 years, nor there is a body that can withstand it. In other words, things will turn around!

    2948 days ago
    That is why we have blogs so we can rant, get it out, and get the support we need. I am so glad you shared this with us!

    It is hard when a loved one is sick to do what is right/best for them vs. the promises we made when they are healthy. Before my dads stroke he told my step mom if he ever got like that to just let him die. Well, we didn’t and though he is still wheel chair bound and slowly learning to talk again thanks to all his therapies we believe it was the best for him NOT to let him give up despite his long road of recovery. Huge life changes especially when you have to make those decisions for someone also end up changing your life as well. My heart goes out to your FIL.

    As for your son….Hmmmm. I agree driving back a huge empty Uhaul truck alone is sort of asinine as was his words to you. I think you handled it well by telling him your feelings and giving yourself time to heal. Perhaps if he makes the move alone he will realize just how much help you could have been and how a kind word would have went a long way. We all do/say stupid stuff or phrase things in such ways where our foot goes into our mouth. Maybe that was the case.

    In my years as practicing as a Master Herbalist I have not encountered RLS much. However, I can suggest a Homeopathic Remedy called Zincum metallic (Zinc. Met. for short) 6c 4 times daily up to 14 days or as needed. You can purchase the remedy online or in health food stores. I recommend Boiron brand. Though Homeopathic remedies have no side effects and do not interact with medications I would still consult your doctor about it and if you do take it let him know you are. Hope that helps!

    emoticon emoticon
    2948 days ago
    2948 days ago
    Aww I'm sorry sweetie. It sounds like your FIL is trying to do what's best for her and it must be tearing him up.

    I wouldn't want to drive the UHaul either - especially if it's empty. And the comment he made was ignorant and very manish - I wouldn't take it personally. There's nothing wrong with you and his wife spending time together unless you can't stand each other or he's got something to hide and doesn't want you two swapping stories. lol. Either way, try not to let it bother you so much as I'm sure it was just one of those idiot guy comments.

    Massaging your legs before sleep, taking a warm bath, or even using heating pads in bed might help you find some relief for your RLS. emoticon
    2948 days ago
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