I KNOWINGLY SABOTAGED MYSELF!!!
Monday, November 07, 2011
So I am back after being derailed for over a month. Gained back 10 pounds of the 60 I had lost. did not go to the YMCA for over a month. Ignored spark everytime it popped up when I opened the internet. Lost my muscle tone I had built up. Starting again ...
I could give a hundred reasons why I got derailed (no time, Church, homeschool, got tired of chlorine bleached hair, tired, etc) but they would just be EXCUSES!
In order to move on I must first take responsibility for my behavior. I KNOWINGLY over-ate. I KNOWINGLY ignored spark. I KNOWINGLY did not go to the gym at times when i could have. I KNOWINGLY sat in my recliner next to the resistance bands and did NOT even pick them up. I KNOWINGLY consumed 3/4ths of a Pecan pie in two days.
I think I even got my husband a little concerned. Up to this point he has been a support to my efforts. He has never even said I needed to lose weight. He loves me irregardless. But in the last 11 months he has gained weight and not exercised while watching me lose 60 pounds. He has always cheered me and bragged about my efforts to everyone else. During the month I took my "break" he bought a bike and started riding bikes with the kids! Then this week he says, "When are you going back to the Y?" In some ways, I think my derailment may have motivated him... I won't go into all the psychology behind that one, though I am qualified, I will refrain (lol). So saturday I dragged my now lazy butt to the YMCA. Walked breathlessly around the track for 25 minutes and then swam a 1/4 mile then did resistance/aerobic exercises in the pool for about 20 more minutes. Yesterday I tried to watch my carb intake and increase protein. Today so far i have eaten only meat. I'll probably get some whole grain carbs at dinner tonight. (Oh and no more PECAN pie) At least until I build my muscle tone enough to have a few rewards here and there. Bummer... That was really good pie!