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Time for some BRUTAL truth

Friday, November 04, 2011

So I definitely fell off the wagon for a little while. My fiance and I took a trip in March to visit some friends and I ate some burgers, pizza, wings, and drank a ton of beer. Being away from my computer I didn't track any of it, so of course I had no reference for how much I was consuming. Upon returning I started a new job and was on a completely different schedule and just stopped tracking all together. I didn't think anything of it because my clothes were still fitting me loosely. I figured hey, i haven't gone up and and i still have time to lose weight.

Then the unexpected happened. My mom was diagnosed with malignant ductal carcinoma, stage 1 breast cancer. My mother's number 1 concern was for me and my sisters and what our chances of having breast cancer was. While my other sisters do not have a lot to worry about. I am the most at risk. My obesity, social drinking, and smoking puts me at great risk for breast cancer.

You would think that something like this would get be back on track. No, i still kept with my so so healthy-ish habits even as I trained for a Breast Cancer 5k. I thought I was just fine when I bought my wedding dress and I was a size 22 which is 2 sizes smaller than I was when I started my journey. I was so geeked and surprised! The excitement was so much that I didn't even try to keep up with any of the better habits I held on to. Which was no good seeing that when I tried on the dress before I purchased it, I just fit into it.

Fast forward 8 weeks. I go to pick up my wedding dress and it doesnt fit! It does not zip up all the way :( Did that jump start my fitness kick. NO! It was not until I hit my all time low Tuesday evening that I realized that I needed to change.

Tuesday, my fiance and I made a delicious meal, sauteed spinach, with black beans, and salmon (so yummy!) After dinner I went out with a friend for some beers. After a few beers I was STARVING. I rolled through the 24 hour McDonald's and ordered a 20 piece nugget meal, a quarter pounder w/cheese and a double quarter pounder w/cheese. But I didnt stop there. I scarfed the quarter pounder, fries, and 10 nuggets in the McDonald's parking lot drove home and threw that in the outside trash. Then went into the house and ate the last 10 nuggets and the double quarter pounder and had another beer. When I was finished, I stuffed the trash all the way at the bottom of the garbage so that my fiance wouldn't know I pigged out.

I woke up Wednesday and was so ashamed. Not only did I binge eat hardcore, but I knew that it was wrong so I went through extreme measures to hide it. I was disgusted with myself. I got up and weighed myself. I was 313 lbs. When I started my fitness journey I was 315. I lost 30 lbs and gained 28 of it back! It was time to really kick it into gear.

Wednesday I walked 3 miles and made a major dietary decision. I danced all through high school and college. After freshman year of college I gained quite a bit of weight so instead of burgers every night. I became a pescatarian. It was great I found so many great recipes for different types of fish and seafood. My diet was rich in seafood, beans, and whole grains. I went from a a size 20 to a size 16. I stayed on that diet all the way through college. After graduating and moving back home I slowly incorporated meats back into my diet to make meal planning easier and more affordable for my mom. (Its easy to buy fish for just one person, not as easy to buy it for a family of 6).

Thursday I continued with my diet (which is hard b/c I work at the city's best pizzeria) and went to kick boxing.

Friday we are still going strong. I just finished the most amazing dance work-out. It was hip-hop, bollywood, swing and jive, ballet, and latin with some great cardio blast in there.

I still want to work out this weekend but I think Im going to do my quick workouts on the weekend with my longer workouts during the week. I am hoping that this really works out for me and that I can stay motivated. I want to not only fit into my wedding dress but I want to look AH-MAY-ZING in it! and hell if I could size exchange it for a smaller size that would be fantastic too!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GENOLA36
    Just do your best !!!! I watch Say yes to the dress. Plus size and Big Gurlz look Fantastic in wedding gowns too. !!!!
    2388 days ago
    Good luck! I know where you are coming from! It is so easy to overeat and so hard to undo the damage! But you are limited in terms of how much time you have left before your wedding. That should be motivation enough. Stay on track. Every time you are tempted, think about how you won't have time to make up for it before the wedding!
    2389 days ago
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