Wow....quick vent

Thursday, November 03, 2011

This morning, after I posted my POA blog, I started to get Kaylee and I ready for the day. I was in Kaylee's room and getting her changed, when I heard my DH say something. I asked him what he said, and he said he couldn't find his black pants. I said they were on the floor in the pile of pants he has next to his side of the bed.

Quick backstory: They were always in the closet on top next to my pants. He has a habit of going through them and throwing them aside on top of mine. I can't stand that, but instead of asking him to put his pants back where they were, I decided to set them next to his bed so they'd be easier to go through. I hadn't told him this yet (I just did this yesterday).

So....he then lets out a frustrated grunt, and I ask him what's wrong, and he proceeds to say how he has spent 5 minutes he DIDN'T have on looking for his pants. Okay, I said I was sorry that I hadn't told him about it. My bad.

While he was taking his shower, I go in, and weigh myself. I am up to 172.8. I was fine with that because I know I have been doing great and that this is probably water bloat from my period. DH asks me what it says, and I'm not gonna lie, so I told him. He gives me an incredulous look, so I got a bit defensive, and told him that it was probably bloat. I mean, my clothes are fitting great, I was 170.8 yesterday, 170 the day before, and 168.4 the day before that (Halloween). I know water retention when I see it. Also, I have been in my ranges every day, but yesterday was in the top part of my ranges, with most of my calories at dinner time. Plus, I'm a bit constipated (sorry for any TMI there).

But, I really didn't think I had to explain it all, nor did I think he had the time for it, so I went back to getting ready to bring Kaylee to daycare. Then, I hear him say, "So, you finished off the ice cream, huh?"

emoticon emoticon

Okay. He hasn't been home all week, but for to sleep. He has been super busy, like I said in this morning's blog. But this was a smaller (half gallon) container of light vanilla ice cream. Over the last 5 days, not to forget the huge bowl he had himself, Kaylee and I have been having ice cream cones for dessert. 1/2 cup each. There was 1 night I had 1-1/2 cups, because I had the calories available and I wanted a bit more. Boohoo. It just sounded to me like he was insinuating that I had a nice little binge on ice cream and that was why I had a weight gain on the scale this morning. So, I told him the above, how it was eaten.

I then went off on him a little bit, because you know what? I was crabby too. My back was killing me, I had been up late working with overtime, I was up early with my little girl, he hasn't been home and I have been MISSING him, damnit, and for the few minutes I see him he is acting like I can do no RIGHT! And I said that in much few words.

He then said, sarcastically, "WELL, goodbye" and left.

This left me angry and sad.

SO, I wrote him an email this morning explaining my side of things better, and I also apologized for my reaction. Like I told him, my reaction this morning was like the reaction I have when I have done bad and don't want to admit it so I act defensive and deny any wrongdoing.

Except this time I did nothing wrong. How am I supposed to react when I did nothing wrong yet there is still a gain on the scale? I am just out of my element. And it has been an hour since I sent that email. I just don't know where he is right now with his mood, his headspace....and really how upset or frustrated he is with me.

This sucks. I know I am overreacting to all of this, but yet I can't just turn my feelings off or internalize them. I know how that ends, and I can't risk that. SO,'s my NOT so quick vent.

Thanks for listening, Sparkland.

P.S. I am grateful, truly grateful for him. But this morning? He was a punk.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hugs you you love!!!! Muah!!!
    2366 days ago
  • PAMMY222
    Sorry for your hubby, but I have to be on your side for this one! TOM sucks all by itself, we don't need added frustration, and good for you for not lying or covering up. My hubby is reading this along with me--and learning!! Thanks for the venting--you deserve this!! Keep up the good work!! You are doing great! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2366 days ago
    Honestly his comments or "implication" is insensitive. Who cares what the scale reads & perhaps it would be best to not even share it with him. This journey is for you alone. My DH is quite the opposite & won't comment either way about my weight good or bad which iritates me sometimes when I want an honest opinion - or ok, let's be real, when I want an honest *positive* opinion. However, I guess I really don't want to know becasue that would hurt my feelings if it wasn't a positive. He really just needs to be supportive never mind being the ice cream police. I think that you had a right to let him know your frustration. Also, just like you said, you are working your plan, monitoring your calories so don't worry about the stinking scale! Seriously I can gain/lose 5Lbs in a day which is impossible so the scale is not always accurate anyway. As long as you know that you are doing well the results will come to you.
    2366 days ago
    You sound like me right before TOM... Things that I'd normally be annoyed about irritate me a little more.

    Guys definitely are punks sometimes and sadly they don't even realize it. Geez... I should blog about my recent guy issue lol... Funny to think back on it but ohhhh I was so bad. Thanks for the blog inspiration - I'm going to have to do that this afternoon.
    2366 days ago
    yeah he was being a jerk! John gets like that too, like all men, and somehow I do always feel like I get overly defensive, overreact and then I'M the one apologizing in the end, WHICH I HATE!! I think it was good to write the email and I'm sure he'll respond soon. Sometimes if John and I are in a funk we need a good fight in order to get past it!

    2366 days ago
    Boys can be dumb. Remind him gently that his role is a supportive one, not a critical one. Make it slightly condescending, and with a smile. That is my favorite way to correct bad behavior. Take care.
    2366 days ago
    Sounds like marriage to me! I hate when its like that. You are just on opposite ends of communicating. It feels crappy. When I started my program here, I told Frank he is not allowed to comment on what I eat or what I don't and he has stuck to that thank god. I sure it will all get cleared up. Go for a walk and distract yourself. I hate the emotions that come with hormones!
    2366 days ago
    Hugs to you and hope you are feeling better, today! You've had a stellar week, be proud and maybe he's missing you, too! :)
    2366 days ago
    You got THAT right! Sorry, but he WAS a PUNK! I wanted to sock him in the nose! That was not helpful, encouraging, or anything but mean. OK, but you gotta love those dorks in spite of themselves. Still... he'd better be sorry later! emoticon
    2366 days ago
    where the heck does he get off monitoring your weight anyway!? all he did was make you feel badly which for a LOT of people leads to poor decisions. i would have told him to mind his own weight! lol...
    2366 days ago
    I really hate when my hubby does things like that. Gr. Last night when I went home I had a binge on food (check out my blog). I told him. I talked about why I was feeling nervous, sad, etc and then when he got home he asked what else I ate. And I had ate anything after he left and he was like yeah right.
    I hope your hubby responds. It's tough to communicate when you just don't have the TIME for it.
    2366 days ago
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