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Thursday, November 03, 2011

I want to thank all of you for posting on my blog last week- all 22 of you- you know who you are!!!! It was a very moving feeling inside to know that so many of you care about someone you have never met. It was a hard week and I am still in shock over the whole thing.

Monday was the day I had my fasting blood sugar done again. It was after cutting out lots of sugar and even coffee- ugh! I am not a sugar junkie, but I had a few friends- my husband and Vino- who were watching over me. So, I wasn't surprised that my level dropped from 132 to 111. So, instead of being tagged, "Diabetic", the label was "Prediabetic".

So, here it is- Thursday, and I am still trying my best to wrap my brain around the whole thing. Seems that since I was diagnosed with high blood sugar, that all I have craved IS sugar....I was talking to Vino about it yesterday, because I thought maybe I was subconsciously trying to kill myself or something, but he said it is perfectly normal for diabetics to crave sugar....GO FIGURE!

I have been beating myself up. I did Atkins for 5 years, from 2003-2008. When I said I did Atkins, I mean I was a strict follower of about 30 grams of carbs a day for nearly 5 years....NO SUGAR, NO FLOUR, NO POTATO OR RICE. It wasn't until I started SparkPeople that I stopped doing Atkins and started following a balanced diet- took a while to stop trying to revert to Atkins. I did try, but not only did I stop losing weight, but I was gaining.

My reasoning brain has processed all of this and come to the conclusion that the very diet I turned to to change my life, became a vehicle that may have contributed to my body not knowing what to do with sugar...It is not easy to wonder what exactly happened, but I have to let it go.

I have to forgive myself for the years of abuse I gave my body. I can't change what I did, but I can move on. I have changed my nutritional tracker to the setting to follow a diabetic diet, so that I can begin to understand what a diabetic diet is all about. I have a small window of opportunity to take control of my diet now, so that I don't have that control taken away from me by not caring.

The funny part is that I am now having to control my sugar and carbs again. This time it is a totally different thing. I was obsessed with Atkins for 5 years and lost a lot of weight doing it. Now I am going to do my best to eat a balanced, low sugar, low fat diet that is made for people like me. I have to harness all the courage I can again, so that I can just maybe reverse the time and give myself another 5-10 years before having to look at the diagnosis of "Diabetes" again.

My weight has been fluctuating quite a bit since I changed from the water pill to the anti hypertensive drug. I am still having some really hard mornings where I wake up very foggy and can hardly move. I am recording the lowest weight of the week, in hopes that I can maintain that weight soon.

Thanks again for being such a super supportive group of friends. I love you all!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    As a nurse, I took care of many diabetics, then it became personal as a niece and nephew were diagnosed at a young age. their mother studied diet, watched her kids, tested, tested and tested... And in the last 15 years, she has become convinced that the diabetic diet has too many carbs (wheat, rice, etc). She watched her daughter struggle with weight gain and diet control. This daughter has now had two babies and is doing fine.
    You have a GREAT attitude and I agree you probably shouldn't go on the Adkins of 30 grams of carbs a day, but perhaps, just limit your carbs to low cal vegetables and eat 60-70 grams of protein a day. and set your limit on calories to slowly lose weight....
    You apparently know how to "stick-to-it" and I'll pray that you can continue to do that.
    2303 days ago
  • POPSY190
    You have the right attitude and that is critical in these situations. I think SP helps you to feel in control of things, and you sound as though you are coming to terms with the necessary steps very quickly emoticon . Good luck with it, emoticon from emoticon
    2392 days ago
    It sounds as though you are very rational about the diagnosis and you aren't going into panic mode, which is fantastic. I am happy that SP provides the option to choose a diabetic diet and that you chose to do that for the time being. Sometimes I think we would all benefit from the diabetic diet, whether we are diagnosed with diabetes or prediabetes or not. You know that if you had the strength and disipline to do the Atkins diet, you can do anything. Sending you lots of love and good thoughts. You can do this!!
    2392 days ago
    I am glad you know your condition.. and your obsticles. I was a long time atkins "dieter" too and I think it made me want sweets even more. I've been on Sparkpeople for over 5 years and it really helped me slow down the weight gain post atkins. Hope you find a happy medium and LET US KNOW. Hubby is battling it too. He was diagnosed diabetic before we started Atkins, but I can't get him to get into SparkPeople.
    Keep up the good work!
    2392 days ago
  • SHER143
    Mary, you have a wonderful attitude. Wishing you all the best...hang in there!
    2392 days ago
    Mary, I am with you. Part of my motivation in watching what I eat, losing weight and incorporating exercise into my daily routine is that I have such a strong family history of diabetes. From my father's side, I have lost two family members to uncontrolled diabetes, and others are affected, but maintain a healthy lifestyle. On my mother's side, she was hypoglycemic, her sister has diabetes. Now, two of my sisters have diabetes. My blood tests have fluctuated through the years from pre-diabetic to pre-hypoglicemic when I was using the South Beach Diet. Now, eating right - I had my first check for diabetes a month ago and - Go SparkPeople - it was normal! Hang in there - you will lose your taste for sugar eventually and it feels good to be healthy!
    2392 days ago
  • FLA-1956
    You'll do fine. Just take it slow and follow what your doctor tells you. emoticon
    2392 days ago
  • RUTHEY01
    What are the settings in the nutritional tracker for pre-diabetic? I am one of 2 out of 6 siblings who hasn't been diagnosed with diabetes. And I am the oldest of us 6!

    2394 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/3/2011 12:30:44 AM
  • CAROLYN0107
    Mary, you're welcome. The Slowest Loser's team IS TOPS! I'm glad you're adjusting to your diagnosis of Pre-diabetes. I'm glad you're going with the balanced diet and I know that you understand what that is. Keep blogging and letting us know how you're doing and also how we can further support you.
    2394 days ago
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