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being a grown-up

Monday, October 24, 2011

With my kid sick today I have a few minutes to Spark and hope it will re-spark my life.

I think I have been hiding from life's little pressures. I was shredding some old checks today --from the 1980s when my life was truly hell with my first husband. I couldn't stop certain thoughts from going through my mind like what I'd say to him today if I ran across him. Mainly I don't have any feelings of hate, just disgust. And I'd say, "hey, it's your problem if you want to continue living that ridiculous life. Grow up."

Then I had to stop shredding b/c the thing heats up and shuts down if I go more than 15 minutes. So I was doing dishes and the thoughts came up again. And it hit me - I AM CHOOSING TO LIVE A RIDICULOUS LIFE AND NOT GROWING UP as long as I continue to allow myself to do childish things like binge all night. No, I'm not feasting. I'm just doing that weird binge thing where you get one thing, get one more thing, then soon you're just eating right out of the bag and not stopping until the bag is empty. But THAT IS MY CHOICE. And if I want my life to change, I have to choose something else. Choose differently. Choose as an adult would choose. The wise, together, intelligent woman I sometimes get tired of being.

The thing is, and here's where it gets less Dr Phil (with the black and white easy answers) and gets more real life: I GET TIRED. And when I get tired I'm like a little girl who just wants to curl up on the sofa with TV and chips. Yes, that was my childhood comfort - Taco Flavored tortilla chips (no brand endorsement here!), TV, and our comfy basement couch. Sometimes a blanket.

But...I'm no longer that little girl. But how in the world do I go from reverting to that comfort to some kind of adult comfort? How do I find it? I guess that's what this real journey is about. Learning to be a grown up with grown-up comfort strategies. But see, even the word strategy doesn't sound comforting. A bag of chips still does. I can even picture myself in my mind's eye, all cozy...

So how do we get cozy and comforted as grownups? I'm open to suggestions! List yours for me. Maybe I'll even venture over to the BF team and start a thread and see what peeps think.

I'm going to brainstorm, too.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD10364891
    That's a million dollar question..I think its a combination of things - getting rid of simple carbs is a big one for me too - they always make me want to eat more. On the emotional front, I'm starting to switch to things like hot decaf. tea or hot soup for that feeling of comfort. I realize that's still eating/drinking something but sometimes a good substitute is better than going cold turkey. Other times spending time on spark, talking to someone close to me, blogging and reading a light book/magazine work for me as well. Glad you're here posting about this - good luck and I'd love to hear about any strategies that you come up with as well! emoticon
    3518 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5983865
    Great thought & ain't that the truth? My husband always asks me what I want to do on the weekend. I had to stop answering "binge on yummy food". He is not impressed.

    So how do we comfort ourselves as adults? IDK. I know that I am comforted by sitcoms and comedies. I am comforted by reading, drinking tea or coffee, cooking and giving myself a pedicure. I'm am comforted by taking a shower after a hard workout. I often write, it's about feeling feelings instead of eating them. Good luck finding your comfort.
    3520 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8667808
    If I didn't have music to comfort me, there would be a huge bag of chips (mine would be chocolate, though) over my head. I know my life is a lot different from most women's because I don't have kids, but I still get so much relief from putting in my headphones and pretending nothing else exists except for me and a sound I love. My family knows when I have my ears in, they'll get more out of talking to the back of their hand. I still eat too many bags of chips, but definitely less when I remind myself how much I like tuning even chips out. I hope you have something like that and that you get time with it.
    I hope your guy feels better too.
    Stay tuned for fall and winter love, I'm working on capturing some and sending it to you emoticon
    3520 days ago
    I agree with a few peeps here. Protein seems to play a huge factor. Thanks for telling me j Ned to grow up too : ) I needed to hear this. I need to grow up!

    But my conundrum is that I cannot substitute for what I want OTW I not only eat the substitution food, but ALSO the real junky food ideas trying to avoid! And I am just no good at the portion control stuff. Wish I was!

    Let's get through today!
    3520 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2219650
    Maybe it's not in your head, but in your body. When you get a craving it's hard to not binge. If you can get your body to stop craving something then the binges will stop by themselves.

    For me (and I know everyone is different) I added LOTS more protein to my diet. 47% of my daily calories come from Protein, 35% Carbs (NOT white) and 18% Fat. This breakdown virtually eliminated cravings from my life.

    It took several weeks to get that much protein worked in, but now it's easy (and it seems to be working).'s something to think about.
    3520 days ago
    You can snuggle up with a mini bag of pop corn 100 cals and have some hot cocoa or hot apple cider or tea, you can snuggle up and just read a book and turn the tube off. you can devy up your chips into single servings and say that is it when you are done with your serving instead of feeling cheated cuz you want more make room for those calories and say if i come in at 1200 cals for they day i get to have two servings of those chips at 300 with water no soda in the mix and you end up with 1500. cals if you allow yourself maybe you wont have to have a huge back or trade those big backs for grab bags whch are smaller you'll eat less.

    Aackk food doesn't give you the warm and cozy feeling the memory does, when you are done eating how do you feel ? That would be the question, are you beating yourself up? if that is what happens then you lose that warm and fuzy cozy feeling in the end and you don't want to right? Just something for you to think about! hugs!!
    3520 days ago
    You can still cuddle up on the couch, just trade your bag of chips for popcorn!
    A half bag of Orville's SmartPop is only 130 calories! (Shhh... it's my secret weapon for comfort food snack attacks...)

    It's the small choices that make the big difference, because we can't change all of our habits cold turkey :)
    3520 days ago
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