RIVER331

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Rambling

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Just need to get some thoughts out and it seems like this is a good way to do it ~ I get to share with my SP peeps and rehab at the same time! emoticon

Just did Week 6 day 2 of rookie runner; it was a TOUGH start, mentally and physically, but I pushed through until interval 4, then had to walk at the end of that one... I actually made a conscious decision to walk it out all the rest of the way since my legs were hurting so much, but when that #5 run signal beeped, off I went; and then #6 too... and then I was fine. I didn't get upset with myself or talk badly to myself - in fact I love this new person who supports and loves me! Where did she come from? At the end of the run (8 intervals for week 6), I thought I'd just jog a bit more to make up for the few seconds I walked on interval 4, and it was funny: without that timer beeping to stop, I just kept jogging... for 9 minutes! Wow, did NOT know I could do that! :-)

Yesterday I didn't do my Strength Training; just took an extra rest day because I felt like I needed it. I'm glad I did because today I feel like I wouldn't have completed that run without it. But I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's ST; I missed it!

I still miss my daughter horribly; I think it's exacerbated by my parents being ill and that extra stress. I worry about her, I worry about them. I miss them too, even more because I know I won't have my Dad around much longer. He has advanced cancer and a host of diabetes- & heart-related issues to complicate things. He had one chemo treatment but has been too sick to do the following treatments. I hate chemo anyway; I hate cancer and our current health care mentality that treats diseases after the fact. I hate that our diets are killing us and we let them! I feel like I'm grieving for him and he's not even dead yet. Sorry to rant. I just feel so bad that my parents are suffering; they don't deserve it. emoticon

I feel like we've finally settled in to Wichita. It will be my first winter out of Arizona in years, so that will be quite an adjustment. I just ordered a new jacket to run outside in for the winter - I have no idea if it will be warm enough but supposedly it will keep the wind out and I plan to layer. We'll see!

Okay, sorry to ramble on but I'm learning to deal with these emotions without eating them, so I'm sure there will be plenty more blogs like this one. emoticon Love you Spark Friends! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SOULFISH80
    Glad that you are blogging for healing, it really is a wonderful way to release/deal with emotions that have been covered with food in the past. My prayers will be with you and your family.
    3482 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/23/2011 10:08:26 PM
  • AWESOMECAROL55
    Sorry to hear about your father's illness..that would be tough. These blogs are great for venting, chatting & relieving stress... of course..exercise helps too! It just helps sometimes to get it all out and Sparkfriends are always there for you!! Never feel it is just rambling!!

    From Arizona to Wichita in the winter..yikes. Layering is good! I pretty much walked outdoors all last winter! I had some undergarments I got at the sporting good store..they were very thin but very warm..I layered with sweats and fleece. Of course I also had gloves and ear coverings..but hey..it worked. I have since purchased a treadmill and now have a gym membership also! I will, however, still go outdoors..I just like it a lot better!!

    Carol
    3483 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/22/2011 8:06:43 PM
  • PJMOGG
    This was not a ramble, just an honest expression of what you're going through. Keep at it! It is wonderful that you are succeeding with the running training, and learning many wonderful things about yourself while doing it! It is wonderful when we surprise ourselves..

    I too, am very sorry for what you and your family are going through with your Dad's illness. These times are very difficult, and don't forget to give yourself credit for handling your emotions through dialogue and examination of your feelings, rather than past practices with food..

    You are an incredible Lady..be strong

    emoticon paula
    3485 days ago
  • FREETHEGODDESS
    Good blog...not ramblings! You are doing GREAT!!! You are starting to understand the signs your body is giving you...WooHoo! This journey only works if we encourage ourselves all the way, even when we slip and fall. You should be proud of yourself. Keep up the good work!
    3485 days ago
  • SECRETOWL
    Hey there. Don't get down.
    There's so much going on right now, I know it's tough to adjust & stay positive. But spending your energy on productive things is the way to go--you can turn this into something useful in your life. Curtains closing make way for new opportunities to open up. I'm glad you're using this opportunity to finally propel yourself into better health. I'm proud of you.

    Love you lots.
    3485 days ago
  • SOONASKINNYGIRL
    Great job on the jogging!! Also really great that you MISSED strength training!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I know what it's like to go through that and feel all of those emotions. I'll be praying for him, your mom, you & the rest of your family!

    Don't be sorry for rambling. You're saving your own life by writing rather than eating. Major accomplishment! Proud of you.

    Hope everything gets less stressful soon. Praying for the Lord to surround you with His comfort.

    Have a wonderful weekend!! emoticon
    3485 days ago
  • BONOLICIOUS2
    Nine minutes?! YOU GO GIRL! That is awesome!!!!

    I am very sorry to hear about your dad.

    Sending good vibes your way!
    3486 days ago
  • KRISTINELOU
    Success and pain often go together, don't they. I'm so glad your intervals surprised you! My run today was like that--I had to stop for quite awhile to recover. It has always worked out in the end, so I'll bet it will this time too. But that 9 minute run, after your intervals--priceless! You are stronger than you know

    I'm sorry your life is heavy right now. I understand how that can be. It's hardest when you can't fix it. . . I'll pray--that's where I wrestle with what is most difficult for me in life. If I remember to do that everytime your name pops up on Sparkpeople, it will be easy to do!

    Keep at it sweetness. You can get to where you want to be
    3486 days ago
  • RODERUNR
    emoticon Keep your chin up...you'll get through this tough time...and yes, cancer sucks! It took my father 10 years ago when he was only 56...and unfortunately many others in my life. I (like you) ate through the pain...and still do...but I'm trying not to. You're not alone...
    emoticon emoticon
    3486 days ago
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