Thursday, October 20, 2011
Just need to get some thoughts out and it seems like this is a good way to do it ~ I get to share with my SP peeps and rehab at the same time!
Just did Week 6 day 2 of rookie runner; it was a TOUGH start, mentally and physically, but I pushed through until interval 4, then had to walk at the end of that one... I actually made a conscious decision to walk it out all the rest of the way since my legs were hurting so much, but when that #5 run signal beeped, off I went; and then #6 too... and then I was fine. I didn't get upset with myself or talk badly to myself - in fact I love this new person who supports and loves me! Where did she come from? At the end of the run (8 intervals for week 6), I thought I'd just jog a bit more to make up for the few seconds I walked on interval 4, and it was funny: without that timer beeping to stop, I just kept jogging... for 9 minutes! Wow, did NOT know I could do that! :-)
Yesterday I didn't do my Strength Training; just took an extra rest day because I felt like I needed it. I'm glad I did because today I feel like I wouldn't have completed that run without it. But I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's ST; I missed it!
I still miss my daughter horribly; I think it's exacerbated by my parents being ill and that extra stress. I worry about her, I worry about them. I miss them too, even more because I know I won't have my Dad around much longer. He has advanced cancer and a host of diabetes- & heart-related issues to complicate things. He had one chemo treatment but has been too sick to do the following treatments. I hate chemo anyway; I hate cancer and our current health care mentality that treats diseases after the fact. I hate that our diets are killing us and we let them! I feel like I'm grieving for him and he's not even dead yet. Sorry to rant. I just feel so bad that my parents are suffering; they don't deserve it.
I feel like we've finally settled in to Wichita. It will be my first winter out of Arizona in years, so that will be quite an adjustment. I just ordered a new jacket to run outside in for the winter - I have no idea if it will be warm enough but supposedly it will keep the wind out and I plan to layer. We'll see!
Okay, sorry to ramble on but I'm learning to deal with these emotions without eating them, so I'm sure there will be plenty more blogs like this one.
Love you Spark Friends!