Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I have reached that point. Another enough is enough moment. I am tired of all the drama and excuses. I can make them all I want but if I don't freaking knock it off I will be 300 lbs again. That is a fact. I am eating like I used to again and sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Yes, some good habits have stuck but not enough of them. I am eating too much in general. I let my business and food blogs dream slide because it didn't happen right away. As soon as I had obstacles put in my path I just stopped trying. I laid on the couch last night for 4 hours straight. That was when it hit me. There was a lot more I could have done with that 4 hours than watch TV. I don't have any time for working on a business plan and writing? Bull. I have time I just don't make the best of it. I did accomplish a truly delicious soup that I wanted to share with all of you. I lightened it a great deal from the original and was so pleased with the results. Why haven't I posted it yet? Because I am telling myself my photos aren't good enough. I am frustrated because I am letting my low self-esteem impede my personal goals and dreams. I want to be successful. I want to own my own company. I want to be healthy and a reasonable size. I have accepted that my chances of rocking a bikini are pretty much slim to none but I am ok with that. I just want to accomplish my professional and personal goals and I am letting my addiction control everything.
So here is a line drawn in the sand. No more mindless eating. No more using candy for energy and stress coping. Back to living healthy all the time not just Monday to Thursday. Nobody, especially me, is keeping me down anymore.