I can do this!

I woke up yesterday and finally got the courage to weigh myself. I had been trying to watch what I eat but haven't been exercising like I should. I was shocked by what I saw. The scale said 153. I was under the delusion that I was about 146. Wow, what a depressing and humiliating moment. My sister had taken pictures when she came down a couple of weeks ago. In the pics I looked alot bigger then I thought I was. Well I have decided to make some major changes. I am going to join the gym here and also try to walk. I am tired of not being able to fit into my old clothes and tired of feeling like crying when I try on new clothes in the dressing rooms at the mall. Part of me still wants to be able to eat what I want and love myself the way I am. The other part of me wants to tell that part to shut up and be the woman I want to be. I would love to be able to wear a size small again. I would love to look good for my husband but mostly myself again. Iv'e done it before and I know I can do it again. Today is a new day and a new start. I am determined to do this. I know I can do this. :)