Goodbye to stress
Monday, October 17, 2011
I was at a very good seminar on stress some day ago. The lecturer listed a lot of physical effexts from stress - all sort of frightening. I knew about blood pressure and I knew that the immune system weakens because of stress - but I did not know that stress causes a raised temperature in the brain ("overheated") which cuses a lot of proteins to get destroyed there, I did not know that my whole nutrition system got affected ... so it was a lot of interesting facts.
The scary parts was that some of the symptoms I do have - which means that I am stressed. And I have not thought so because even thought I worry about my work I feel rather at ease with it, and although my economy worries me sometimes, I have gotten hope back since getting employed and although I get "attacks" of anxiety, I can mostly handle it...
But since I do have the symptoms of sweating, loss of concentration, migraines and more, I have to consider that I have this latent stress, not caused by too much to do but more from feeling powerless.
I have four big areas for stress:
My daughter - the big one. Not living with her makes me feel like a worthless mother because a good mother would never have lost her. I also long a lot and get attacks of bitterness because she grows up and changes and I am not there to enjoy it. It also stresses med that she might feel abandoned and as children do put the blame on herself for not being "loveable" enough. I see her two weekends a month and she is eleven years old and a LOT happens...
My health - my overweight is not good and I am desperate over it, partly because I think it will kill me, partly because it stops me from doing things - I can´t moe around as I would want to because I lack the mobility.
My ... I don´t no the word, maybe disorder... anyway the fact that my home is a mess and every time I manage to clean and organize it, it only lasts for a short while and then the mess starts crawling back. Flylady helps but it really stresses me that I can´t get good habits and structures that helps me handle it.
Economy - it is for the moment MUCH better than before but I hae not yet got rid of all the old mess that my lack of work got me into after cancer.
And after this seminar I understand that this has to stop - it is a matter of good mental hygiene and NOT about outside factors - I will always find something to worry about.
So I am deermined to:
- Keep on focusing on all the good things that I do for my daughter and that I have given her a lot of love and fun things so far. I also have a meeting schedules with a lawyer in the beginning of november and it is asgood as I can do right now.
- Accept that I am a compulsive overeater that have a very hard time handling food and exercise and accept that it will take a very long time to change - AND remember that I do kno overweight smokers that is older than 80... and I am not a smoker...
- Keep on working with flylady system (that I love) in the same way that I work with my health.
- Reminding myself that I am 59 years old and have managed my economy so far.
Action wise these are the things that I need to do:
- Journaling a gratitudelist and note the good things I am doing for myself ad others.
- Make a new budget, I had one but things have changed since then so I have to update it.
- Plan my food and execise and be content if I manage to stick to the plan half ot the time...
- Count my blessings - all the time.
_ Contact my sponsor and start working the twelve steps of Acoa...