I just got back in town and am trying hard not to pass out. Moved my brother's furniture etc all day yesterday. Later, bf and I showed my dad how to use his new bowflex (whether or not he actually sticks to it, time will tell!). Late last night, as I was running on fumes, I even managed to cook some healthy food in my mom's kitchen ( a little for me and the bf, but mostly for my mom and brother, because I knew they would be busy unpacking boxes etc all day today and my mom had no freggies in the house).
You know, it was a strange feeling... running out at 11:30 pm, not to get fast food (gods know I was sick of the stuff after being forced to eat it on the road), but to get VEGETABLES and other healthy ingredients to cook a wholesome meal --this was a definite change form the "old me" who would use visiting my parents as an excuse for splurging on whatever bad food I felt like eating. So, woohoo for this healthy craving.
The first challenge in BLC12 this week is to write a letter to my future-self, 8 weeks down the line. Here goes:
You did it--you stuck with this competition for 8 weeks, and I am sure you are seeing some great improvements in your health, compared to week 1 (why not let me know exactly what these improvements are in a reply?). I want to congratulate you on your progress; you are not at your long-term goal line, but by now I am sure you have blasted past your 382 lb mini-goal, and that takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and time-management skills. You know what your priorities are, and you are taking charge of your life in a very positive way.
However, I also know that you are still me--and that means you are still imperfect. You still have bad days once in a while--you probably still struggle with eating well during school. In fact, you will probably never live up to the lofty goals and time-frames you once set for yourself... you will never achieve some un-defined level of perfection that only exists in vague wishful thoughts... your life will not be perfect nor will it be stress-free after reaching your goals, and all of your problems will surely not be melting away as the scapegoat (fat) does the same.
And that is ok.
I have one request, self. I just want you to allow yourself to be imperfect and improving, instead of an unrealistic perfectionist. Can you do that for me?
Despite your perceived faults or shortcomings, you are the best me that I can be in 8 weeks. You are my triumphs, my failures, and my net progress over many baby steps forward and a few stumbles backward. Finally, I just want to say that I am proud of you for sticking with it through the hurdles, and that you are doing a great job. It just takes time. Keep it up, me!
P.S. You are a demon in the gym! Staying consistent with your strength training and running/biking is tiring, but SO worth it. YOU ROCK!!!