60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 72,222


Sunday, October 16, 2011

It's no secret...I am struggling with chronic physical pain. Since April, I was able to put on my big girl panties (daily), be upbeat and continue onward. I would acknowledge the pain but wasn't willing to give in to it. There were even days that I pushed myself to accomplish a task, which I would pay for several days later. Yet it still felt like I had completed a task and allowed me to focus on future challenges.

It's also no secret that my Lymphedema is out-of-control. While physical therapy feels good while it's being done, the wrapping and the exercises were usually filled with painful moments. It's a never-ending task that needs to be performed daily to retain some sense of normalcy in the life of a "lympher".

I remember back when I was a small child ~ I would sit upon my daddys foot and hang onto his leg as he "danced" me around the room. That's the same heaviness I feel in my lymphatic leg - like a child is clinging on and I can't release it's grasp.

Back in 2007, the doctor estimated that my left leg (only) weighed 150#. That was before the Lymphedema moved into my thigh. Since my thigh has gained about seven inches, I would imagine the reality is more likely to be about 175# - which is 41 percent of my current body weight.

It's no wonder that my constant companions are chronic pain, loneliness and boredom.

Yesterday, I was visited by two other companions...the twins, "give up and give in". It would have been so easy to be swayed into going with them. But I held steadfast and struggled to move onward.

Now, I'm not the most religious person in the world...but I frequently talk to the big guy upstairs and as I sat upon my bed last night, I simply stated that I hoped for a better day tomorrow than I had that day.

Early this morning I was inclined to open my Bible and look for passages about feeling lost. I opened the book to Hebrews 12, it talks about how God is our father, training us and correcting us (as most fathers do).

But it was verses 11 thru 13 that really caught my eye: "But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character. So take a new grip with your tired hands, stand firm on your shaky legs, and mark out a straight, smooth path for your feet so that those who follow you, though weak and lame, will not fall and hurt themselves, but become strong."

Today, I tried taking a 'new grip" on my life and my circumstances. The road won't be all that straight or smooth....but for now, I will continue onward. For today, a new companion came to help me along.....her name is HOPE.....
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hang in there Annie!!!
    2690 days ago
    I pray you will find strength in the Lord and your friends on Sparks people. Thank you for your comment on my biog. you are an inspiration emoticon
    2701 days ago
    I can not believe that in the days of modern medicine there isn't much that can be done for those who have lymphedema. I know as my DH suffers from this also. You are doing great...Keep your faith and never give up. There has to be answers and cures coming in the future. May the Lord continue to bless you and encourage you.

    There are challenging times in our lives, there are dark times, there may be times when you feel hopeless, and there are always happy times. During all of those times we should stop and take a moment to count our blessings. If it is a difficult time you will find by reflecting on the blessings you do have will help your attitude in dealing with the situation you are in. Many times our own attitude will determine how we see our world. When we are in a happy time we see the world very differently than if we are in a more challenging time. The secret is to always count your blessings; it truly does make life easier.
    I am here for you. Let me know if I can help you at any time.
    Hugs and prayers,
    2709 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/20/2011 5:57:18 PM
    In today's modern medical achievements its so sad they have not found any relief for you. I hope someday soon that will change. In the meantime - as you find inspiration in the Bible others find inspiration in you.
    2713 days ago
    I love reading the Bible for strength as well. The Lord is always by our side. I hope your pain and swelling get better in time. emoticon
    2713 days ago
    Your blog touched my heart! I am going to copy it and give it to my friend who has very swollen legs! She has been told its Lymphedema and she can hardly walk and can only walk very very slowly! She was on the verge of giving up! I told her about you and your marching on the spot to get your legs moving and it gave her new hope! She has lost over 56lb and her top part is looking much slimmer, but her legs are very swollen, I don't think its reached her hips yet! She is in a lot of pain and can't stand for too long. I think you have a wonderful attitude to life and I think it will hekp her!
    I hope it will get better for you soon! I had forgotten about the bible I used to do as you did in my hour of need and it helped! Start again with baby steps!
    Keep on fighting! emoticon
    2713 days ago
  • SAMI199
    You have me,too. I really love those verses.Annie,hang on tight & don't ever give up.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2713 days ago
    emoticon And with that hope comes strength to endure which you've had all along. So now you have two companions.
    they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.Isaiah 40:31
    2713 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/16/2011 12:18:56 AM
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by QUILTINGB52