Monday, October 10, 2011
I am thinking through some things and I am curious what others might have to say.
Lately, I have been making homemade breads more at home, as my job ended on August 7th. As my husband makes a good income and the job market is so bad, I have decided to mainly sit out for now, unless I see a job in the want ads that appeals to me. But this has meant that I have had fun cooking yummy meals and making homemade breads. As of yet, I have been frustrated a bit more often lately at slightly over eating some days, like today. (I made a homemade yogurt bread, rolled it out and put pepperoni and italian mixed white cheese on one and pastrami and gouda on the other one and then rolled them up and baked them. Absolutely delicious! But I am always surprised how many calories is in flour.) I have upped my exercise a bit too, but mainly because I have the time and I like going for bike rides and walks. I keep trying to walk or bike a little further. (So far, I am up to biking just under 20 miles and walking just under 11 miles. Getting closer to being able to walk a half marathon distance.)
On the days where I overeat, or wind up hungry after a decently calorie meal, I sometimes think about throwing in the towel and not tracking calories anymore and eating how I want. I would keep up the exercise, well, at least I think I would. But I know I won't do that. Why? That is the real question. Just for some odd reason, I know I won't throw in the towel. I have had too many days where I have been satisfied with my meal, or managed to have some ice cream for dessert without going over calorie.
Now how can I transfer this to other things, especially when I don't completely know why I won't throw in the towel? I need to find motivation to practice my piano more, as I would love to someday be able to play a piece of music and really make music. Make someone smile with music. But I have half become convinced perhaps that that will never happen? I really am not sure. I just know that I can't find the motivation or a reason to practice piano.
I also can't seem to find motivation sometimes to live up to my obligations when it comes to sending coupons to others on a coupon group that I am on. I love sending wishlist coupons, except that most of the time, the people I send to, could seem to care less. I put in a great deal of time and effort into putting together a wishlist envelope and most of the time I get a received, and that is it. (IE everyone has to post when they receive their swap so the mods can update the databases and keep track of who owes what, etc.) I never get a wow, great coupon. Or thanks for... such and such. Now I could send potluck, but I despise potluck as there are just too many coupons that people can't use.
So overall my question is now that I have managed to find motivation to loose weight, reach a healthy bmi and maintain it for about 6 months, I want to find some motivation for other things and yes, I do wish I could relax a little on calories and not quite be so obsessive.