HABROWN
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I lost but not in the good way!

Sunday, October 09, 2011

No I did not loose weight. I lost sight of my goal and the how to's that I know. I have no excuses and regardless any logical reasoning I can come up with - I could have overcome. I know that I could have put the unhealthy food down if I really wanted to, but I didn't. Bear with me through this long blog it will cover a few things that I want to put into writing.

I realize now I have to restart and start not from where I left off, but from the very beginning. I have added the following goals to the main section of my sparks page so that each time I go there I will see it and be reminded what I am here to accomplish.

My Goal from 10/09/2011 - 11/17/2011:

I want to get back to the nitty gritty of this journey starting with baby steps.

I want weigh at least 259.4 by 11/17/2011 a total of 18.4 pound to lose

I will do at the very least 10 minutes of cardio and 3 Strength training session a week.

I will eat like each choice makes all the difference

Can't say that any of this will be easy as I seem to be struggling more and more in the recent weeks, but I do want to get back to it.

I have watched folks list there accomplishments and small victories and I think about mine but I never actually write it down. So here goes.

1. At my highest I weighed 338, so I have lost from last November until now 60.2 pounds.

2. Since joining and becoming part of the sparks people ohana in mid-june (a little less than 4 months ago) I weighed 319, so since being here I have lost 41.8 pounds and feel like they are gone for good.

3. I tend to wear stretchy pants and the jeans I do have are a size 24 or 26, but the other day I tried on a pair of purple (cause it is my favorite color) jeans that my friend gave me a while ago that couldn't even fit up my thighs when she gave them to me. Last Wednesday 10/5/2011 I was looking through my closet and they were my last pair of jeans, so I was like heh...I'll try them on...they fit and were even a little baggy.

4. I can walk farther and am less tired after exercise.

5. Due to the fact that I am trying to get healthy physically...I am setting up boundaries and learning to say the dreaded and all to under used for most of my life - NO! - to those who would use me for what I can give them, but aren't ever there for me.

I swear that if it wasn't for the fact that people make comments about my weight loss, the scale says I lost, and my clothes are baggier I kind of feel the same and can't visually see the difference. Even my sister made the comment today that she wishes she didn't see me every single day cause then she would notice the weight loss that I have had more so than she does.

So tomorrow I am going to CARPE DIEM and CARPE NOCTUM cause this journey don't stop just cause the sun goes down.

Thank you to every one for all the encouragement and for inspiring me through your own victories. You all rock!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BRENSJOURNEY
    Congrats on your accomplishments so far! You have made so much progress to be proud of. I am struggling myself so I know how hard it can be, but focusing on the positive is a great motivator, way to go!

    One day at a time my friend.
    2474 days ago
  • HEALTHYSLIM2
    Writing it all down like this and staying commited (or maybe you think of it more as "re-commiting") is very
    emoticon
    Having the purple pants experience is great!
    emoticon
    I know what you mean by not being able to see the progress in the mirror... since we see ourselves every day, it is hard to get a sense of any loss of weight or gain of fitness, but WOW - the scale is your proof of your terrific accomplisments!!
    emoticon
    So YES, seize the DAY and NIGHT!!
    Hang in there and keep on making those GOOD choices. Really, it is all about being consistent with the small choices, and having that add up to big results.
    We are here to support you!!
    emoticon
    2477 days ago
  • VALKYRIA-
    You have made some amazing progress.. and it is good that you are re-focusing with your healthy goals in mind. emoticon
    2477 days ago
  • FOREVERFAYE
    emoticon on all that you've accomplished. Sometimes the past, even the good parts, weigh you down and the best thing to do is to wake up and start absolutely fresh. There's another SP member who blogged about a similar situation and if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
    Here's the link: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
    ublic_journal_individual.asp?bl
    og_id=4521016
    Best of luck on the rest of your journey!
    emoticon
    2477 days ago
  • SUNFLOWERSAVAGE
    Your accomplishments to date are awesome! I'm glad you are starting over rather than quiting. You have shown that you can do this...so I know you can do it now!
    Stay strong friend! emoticon

    ~Deanna
    2477 days ago
  • SHERRIE_BERRY
    I am so proud of you for rethinking your goals; it is a step in the right direction. Sometimes, we have to kick ourselves in the butt to keep us going. You could have given up, but instead you are moving onward and downward (in tems of pounds gone). I really am happy that you are my friend and I can learn from your determination.

    Carpe diem and Carpe noctum my friend!

    ~hugs,
    Sherrie~
    2478 days ago
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