Saturday, October 08, 2011
Yesterday I went shopping for Halloween decorations but I figured while at the mall I would pick up a couple of things for myself. My pants had been falling of me (a thought that made me happy, I had pushed away the reminder that they were 2 sizes bigger than I normally to wear) so I thought I would pick up a belt. Without trying it one I bought the biggest on in the store and moved on. At the next store I tried on a bra, again the biggest one in the store but it didn’t fit. When I got out the saleslady asked the customary “how did everything fit” I told her it was too small and she answered “Maybe you should try a plus size store.” And with that I was done shopping, I went home in tears. When I got home I tried to put my new belt on only to find that it didn’t even fit around me.
I’m not really sure what happened, ok that’s a lie. I know what happened. I buy healthy fruits and veggies every week and then they end up going bad and being thrown out because take-out is easier. And now here I am at 220lbs, being told to try the ‘plus size store’
Which brings me back to SparkPeople, feeling dejected, embarrassed and depressed about my size.