Controlling what I eat and diet Nazis

Thursday, September 29, 2011

It occurred to me today, in one of those Oprah light bulb moments that I have very little control in my life right now. I have zero financial control ( but considering my previous spending habits, that's a good thing I think! ) I have no control over where I live, I mean everything about it. Living with my parents again....I have no kitchen of my own, no bathroom! If my mother wants the plates on the first shelf, and not the second, too bad for me! I have no control over my health, or lack there of. My body is betraying me in my 30's, when I am supposed to be at my prime. I watch my parents, who are in their 60's, and the sounds they make getting out of their recliners and into their respective scooters, sound frightening similiar to the noise I make getting up! Yikes! I am seeing my not too distant future in them, and I shudder. This is mot the life I wanted, and where do I go for here? How do I turn this sow's ear of a life into a silk purse? ( or even a polyester Walmart purse? )
So anyway, in my little light bulb moment, I realized that the ONLY thing I can control right now is my diet. Not in a diet Nazi way, but just monitoring what I eat. Actually paying attention to what I put in my mouth for a change! So that is what I am here to do. emoticon
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  • CARRIE535
    Thanks for the encouraging comments. I guess I should elaborate a little more on my situation. In the past year, I've become disabled, had to leave a job I love, and had our house and car repossessed. To say it's been tough.....well yes, of course. The fact that I am still here, and haven't jumped off a cliff or become an ellict drug user is a testament to how strong I have become. Or been forced to become I should really say. Believe me, I would so rather still be able to take my good health for granted, and live in a world where I don't have to worry if I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow. But when life robs you of a properly functioning body, you learn to cope. It's a necessity that I unfortunately had to cultivate in myself.
    And I've also found that I've grown tired of telling my story to people...explaining everything over and over again. It forces me to confront my harsh reality, and talking about it does not make me feel better.( not that I feel bad about it anymore ) After I've told my little sad story, I always get the " I'm so sorry that happened to you " And please don't get me wrong, I wouldn't expect any other reaction, it doesn't make me mad, or offended to hear those words. Anyone who can take their body, and health, for granted just doesn't know, I mean how could they? But to hear that same reaction over and over, well , for me personally, it's like hearing someone say " I'm so sorry your eyes are blue. " My sickness is just a reality, accepted and moved on from.
    3313 days ago
    I think you are looking at the glass 1/2 empty ..maybe or it came across a bit that way. Just make some goals and take baby steps to achieve them. If you say you can not budget money...Then you know what you will not be able to(lacking some mental issues barring of course). I think having a roof over my head (moms or mine) is great as I have been homeless and that is no picnic hehe. Try and focus on the good things like you are and you will go far . emoticon
    3314 days ago
    It sounds like you have a lot to be frustrated about, which is why I love the perspective of focusing on what you CAN do. That sort of perspective can only benefit you as you go forward, and I bet it ends up spiraling out into other parts of your life as you keep taking small steps toward wherever you figure out you want to be. Good, attainable goal.

    3314 days ago
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