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Saying Goodbye to Sarina

Monday, September 26, 2011

My best friend Sarina died last Thursday after fighting an impossible battle with ovarian cancer. Although she fought with everything that she had she actually never had a chance. Her cancer was aggressive and relentless resisting all chemotherapy and experimental treatments. It slowly took her life piece by piece. She fought because she believed that life was precious and she fought for those who loved her.
It is a very special thing to have a best friend for 35 years. It also makes it unbearable to say good-bye.
I always told Sarina that she was a brilliant light and that this world needed her desperately. I told her that it was inconceivable to imagine a world without her in it. Yet she is gone and the world is going on without her.
Last night coming home from my adopted family, I met a new tenant on the elevator. Actually I did not want to meet him, but he held the elevator as I parked the car.
When I looked at him to say thank you I saw bulges and deep scars along his head and I immediately looked away. He asked me if I had a good day. I smiled and lied saying it was wonderful. He then turned to me, looked me deep in the eyes and said that last week he had the best day of his life. This caught my interest and I found myself asking him why. He told me that last week he learnt that he was still cancer free, six year later. He was literally bursting with joy. So I got off the elevator with him and I told him about my friend who died last Thursday who at the end of her life suffered terribly from brain tumors. I looked into his smiling, victorious eyes and simply said: Please, for Sarina's sake, live your life full and live it well. He smiled. And we went our separate ways.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So sorry for your loss! I just now read this blog. I'm of a mind to believe in the promises that we will see our loved ones again in the future.
    1 Corinthians 15:52

    2202 days ago
  • TREESA57
    I think it slightly fitting, I find your blog about Sarnia, on Easter morning.
    Take the advice of the man, and live your life to the fullest and always look up to the sky and give a smile to her daily. She is living the true life now and is waiting for you.
    2204 days ago
    I clicked on your page because you quote my favorite Leonard Cohen song, and happened to read this blog. My baby sister recently lost her battle with leukemia. It is still inconceivable to me that I won't see her or talk with her again.
    Thank you for sharing your story and my deepest condolences on your loss.
    2211 days ago
    It sounds like God knew just what you needed when that stranger crossed your path. Losing friends and loved ones to cancer and death can be so strong. Your friend is never really lost, because you hold all her attributes in her heart. You and your bff are close, and her memories and strength will always be with you. Blessings for you as you cope with your loss. I too have suffered these losses, and am eternally grateful for what I learned and gained from my friends. Blessings and peace.
    2277 days ago
  • GOIN4GR8
    This post gave me chills. I can't imagine your pain at Sarina's loss. I wish there was more I could say, but instead I'll just send you a hug.
    emoticon emoticon
    2277 days ago
    Each moment is precious.
    2362 days ago
    Sounds like your friend had to suffer so much. How sad.
    I wish I could hug you.
    She is looking down on you smiling.
    I am sending sooo much love your way, lady! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2368 days ago
    Wow, your story has touched me deeply, got me crying. Remembering the lover I lost years ago and I swore on his grave to live a good life. While it's been a struggle and I have overcome and triumphed on many levels. I still have inhibitions to let go of. I want to be free and express myself truly and have no regrets.

    Bless you and I am sorry for your loss... emoticon
    2374 days ago
    You were on my mind tonight so I looked you up to see how you were. I had somehow missed your blog until tonight. I am very sorry for your loss. Ovarian cancer is difficult. I lost a friend last year only one week after she was dxd. Its not fair for her or for you. We must live life to the fullest for ourselves and our friends. Tale care.
    2379 days ago
    ((( Naomi)))
    2388 days ago
    Hey my sweet friend,
    Just read Sarina's blog. I can only trust that she is revelling in the light and leaving rainbows in her wake. Your healing time may be difficult; how kind & loving of Sarina to send you the "elevator man" to encourage you.
    I love you and send the power of healing to you.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2391 days ago
    So sorry for the loss of your friend. I do believe Sarina had something to do with your meeting of the man by the elevator. He was right. She would want you to live your life to the fullest!
    Remember all of your good times together! She's watching over you. Make her proud!
    emoticon emoticon
    2392 days ago
    I'm so very sorry for your loss. The universe does work in mysterious ways - I don't think for a moment that this meeting was simply by chance. Be at peace my friend, I feel certain that Sarina is. Namaste.
    2392 days ago
  • CURRY63
    My dear friend, As I have told you so many times before, "Believe". I can feel that is what Sarina wants for you, to live everyday to its fullest and believe that she will be waiting for you to share again as only friends can do. Isn't it amazing that just when you were at a low, someone just appeared to show you what belief is. Love and hugs and sweet thoughts to you, mon amie. Janice emoticon emoticon emoticon (You know what the turtle is for!)
    2394 days ago
    Your post made me cry. What an experience.

    I am so sorry for your loss. What an amazing run in you had with that person in the elevator.

    Be gentle with yourself as you grieve and heal. Grief is ragged. May your friend's memory always bless you.
    2395 days ago
  • ANGEL636
    So Sorry for your heart-wrenching loss, but in your own words "Please, for Sarina's sake, live your life full and live it well." She is with you always!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2396 days ago
    I know that you are not consolable right now. Try to remember that Sarina is an inseparable part of you. She is within you and around you and always will be. She lives on in your heart and soul and in time you will find her there. I also believe that she sent that man to you as a gift from an angel.
    You'll hear more from me soon.
    Love and hugs,
    2397 days ago
    Wow im sorry you lost such a great friend. I havent got any friends Ive know that long but I was cut off from one of four years and it gutted me so I cant imagine what you are going through
    2397 days ago
    Wow. That is an heart-wrenching and heart-warming tale. I don't know whether to cheer for a man who has conquered cancer and has the opportunity to live, live, live or cry for your loss and for your friend who struggled and fought and succumbed nonetheless.

    I am so sorry to learn that your best friend has died. My wish is that I could help you to feel better right now. Unfortunately, that isn't possible, and I feel quite silly saying it. But, I am certainly well-meaning. No one wants to hurt or feel negative emotions, and I want for there to be something I can do to help you not feel them.

    Your friend was all the more fortunate that she had you in her life. And, you are all the more fortunate for having had her in your life. We carry our nearest and dearest along with us, even when we are separated. They are a part of who we've become. I hope you will look for those bits of her in yourself; you might find some comfort there.

    All my best wishes to you,
    2398 days ago
    That's a pretty incredible story, Naomi. I'd be willing to bet Sarina had something to do with the "chance" encounter. And the world is not going on without her, not as long as you and all her loved ones hold her spirit in their hearts.
    2399 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss of Serina, It must have been so hard watching her fight to stay .
    I am sure she is pain free now.
    what a awesome happening with a stranger,just exactly what you needed at the time !!
    Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon and a rose for your friend! emoticon
    2399 days ago
    WOW!!!! What an amazing story...I am so sorry about Sarina, it can't be easy losing your best friend, she must have been such a wonderful gift in your life. What timing of having this chance meeting in the elevator. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you heal and remember all the wonder times you and Sarina shared!
    2399 days ago
    Naomi I am so sorry you've lost your friend hun.
    Sending love and hugs to you, what an angel the man is the lift is emoticon
    2399 days ago
    Ridmycocoon and Owensaunt1 said so eloquently what I feel. I'll add that I continue to remember Sarina (and you) daily and pray you will always be together, even though you are on different planes. Love you!
    2399 days ago
    Oh Naomi!!!! What a moving, touching story. I cannot imagine how your heart must ache for the loss of Sarina's light in your life. But I'm sure that when you least expect it, her spirit will be there glowing in the darkest corners of your world. Her light will radiate through your soul when you are down and troubled. She'll always be in your heart.

    I'm glad that you met someone who made her story more tangible . . but we should ALL cherish every moment!
    2399 days ago
    Wow, Naomi. I am moved by your experience. I am terribly sorry to hear of your dear friend. I send you my very best. The man in the elevator is an Angel.
    2399 days ago
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