Finding balance and fighting negativity
Sunday, September 25, 2011
It has been two weeks since my last blog.
Where have I been? I have been here, just not so vocal or visible.
I am feeling kind of blah lately.
I have so many things to be grateful for.....and yet I am choosing to focus on the negative. I know why it is happening. I am tired and need a vacation. I feel unappreciated in my life. I am struggling to meet my weight loss goals.
My daughter continues to give me a run for my money. I caught her and her friends smoking marijuana in her room. She knows how I feel about drugs in general, and specifically about drugs in my home. She lost her text messaging privileges for now and her computer privileges for that one. I took her for a drive and talked to her about how her choices will steer the direction of her life. I talked to her about how her behavior shapes and influences her younger brother's behavior. I hope my words start sinking in. Otherwise, the consequences will continue....
My husband likes his new job. Thank goodness. His income has gone up several hundred dollars a month! We can pay off some bills.....if he would stop buying stuff. He bought an x-box 360 special edition yesterday. $490 at Best Buy. Now, he doesn't often go off and spend tons of money like that...but still, it doesn't quite jive with what we had talked about before....which was paying off debt so we can be more stable.
And since he bought the x-box, his buttocks is firmly planted in his chair in our room. He was supposed to help me clean up our room. That isn't happening this weekend.
Am I mad? Surprisingly, no. I am really at the point where I get it. Choices=consequences. Or choices=results. Our choices have an outcome. I have not been sleeping in our bedroom for about 2 weeks. My husband's dog sheds. Thus, our room needs frequent vaccuuming and dusting. Hubby's clothes and random stuff is spread out ALL over the floor. He won't do his laundry or clean it up. If it mattered to him enough that I am sleeping on the couch, then he would not be playing the x-box and would be doing his laundry. He can't complain when I go sleep on the couch if he won't do his part. And honestly, my couch is quite cozy. I am not going to run out there like I have in the past and clean up after him. I have books to read and better things to do.
My weight loss.....is a thorn in my side. I have been lifting weights and eating cleaner...but the scale does NOT budge. I will take measurements next week, and if there are no changes, then I guess I needs to adjust again. I don't know what I am doing wrong, but I guess I have all my life to figure it out. I did add cardio back in to my routine now that I am pretty comfortable and consistent with my ST, so maybe that will help. I am choosing to keep trying, so hopefully the results will come. I am proud of myself for making a strong effort to eat more clean. My home is full of fruits and veggies, healthy protein bars made from scratch, chicken in my crockpot, and some batch cooking done. If nothing else, I am eating about 85% less chemicals, so that is AWESOME!
Work.....is work. I am better at saying "no" more often, so I don't get overwhelmed with things to do with no enough time in the day. I love what I do, I just need more balance in my life.
I really didn't want this to sound negative. I am just struggling. I feel like when I get a few parts of my life going in the direction I need/want, then other parts of my life start to have problems that take me away from what I need to be doing. How do YOU find balance?