Feeling Pretty Low

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Recounting the past few weeks, ranting.
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    Babe... those shows are showing you a skewed version of reality... just like anything else can. Yes, the trainers are kicking their butts, yes they are maniacs when they work out, but... that's for that show. To let us see that it's possible to do that... but it is probable that people have time like that? Really no. I VERY rarely workout enough to have sweat dripping into my eyes. I have done it a few times, yes... but I dont do it often. On those shows, those people are away from "real" life for a while. They only are focusing on themselves, their journey, and working out. That's it. That's not real. Dont get down about what some tv producer shows you as "fit"...that's not true.

    The "want" is in you. If you want to be healthier, happier, etc... then you have to do what you have to do.

    Eating the same thing over and over is not normal for the rest of your life. You shouldn't punish yourself for wanting things to be more balanced and normal. But, the past "normal" isn't good for you. You know you can't sustain that. Make a new "normal" for you that is healthier, cleaner, etc...

    Everything has calories, has fat, etc... wouldn't you rather make better choices than keep on the path you were? You ARE making changes... and I'm proud of you no matter what you think. So what you ate at 2am? You ate soup.... not a whole pizza or a few burgers and some fries... SEE that you are changing. You beat yourself up way too much!

    And you said "I only walk"... only??? That's great! Everyone starts somewhere. Even an expert at anything was once a beginner....
    2939 days ago
    You're very down on yourself in this blog. Try to be more kind to yourself. The exercise you can do will be easier as you keep doing it consistently.

    So, let's make a plan. Every day get up, shower, dress, put on shoes. Eat a protein (like a turkey burger). DON"T turn on your computer. Take a walk. Come home work on job hunting. Log your food every day. Keep the carbs low to control your sugar. Proteins and veggies and low carb fruits (not bananas) for you. Take another walk in the afternoon. Get outside.

    The people on biggest loser are medically supervised probably every day and all they do all day is exercise and eat the perfect food. That is not life in the real world. Our world is real. . . doing it while surviving our every day lives. I'm here for you X. You can do this and we're all hear to help.

    2942 days ago
    Dearest X, Your video was very touching.. You sound like a man who's at ends with what to do. I have felt that way myself a few times.
    First off I have to say I think The Biggest Loser Is crap.
    It isn't good for anyone to lose the weight they do in such a short time. You don't have to beat yourself to death on a workout like they do.
    If you go out your front door and walk 10 steps and go back is better than not doing anything. Hey it's a start.
    You are a big guy not just weight but at 7 ft, that's tall.
    Listening to you in the video, my guess would be you have some problems with depression. That kind of comes along with the weight issues. It's going to be hard for you because of the depression but every little thing that you can do will add up at the end of the day. Like for me I'm a smoker ( not a good thing , I know ) but I keep them away from me and I smoke out side so everytime I want one I must get up and go get it then go out. I know that a lousy example but it's movement. Your not going to drop the weight the way they do on that show and with being a diabetic you shouldn't even try like that. Make small efforts in dropping a few lbs and small changes to what your eating. I try to plan ahead for the day of what I will be eating because it helps me stay focused and I do better knowing what I will eat til the time I go to bed.
    I know about money being tight too. Mine is and has been for awhile now and not looking any better. It's hard to eat healthy when the money isn't there to buy what you need. With you being a diabetic you need to make sure your not missing your meals.
    I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it will get easier as everyday goes by and you have said NO to yourself along the way and you start to feel like you do have control and you take on the attitude that yes I can do this and I can pass this or that up today. And when you don't say no and you eat something that maybe you should have skipped it doesn't mean that your a failure and it's a reason to give up. We all have our days where we eat the ( bad stuff ) IT"S OK .... Let it go and start fresh with the next meal. I have gone on my binges where I blew it and the next thing I know I'm eating anything and everything. I'm doing better and working on that,lol. I will be thinking about you. You must not give up on yourself because only you can do this for yourself. And you do want it other wise you never would have made the video and you wouldn't be here at Spark right now.
    2944 days ago
    Hey no more putting yourself down. You are not in this alone, you can have the Spark Community at your side for help.
    The journey to lose weight is not an easy one but it can be done. The word die is in diet for a reason, it is difficult. You could also join weight watchers and attend the meetings for support and the help that you need. Think of you weight loss as a journey that will have bumps in the road but it is a road that is well traveled by many. Make small changes in your eating habits. Use fat free dressing on your salads, make it a point to eat fresh fruit, weigh and measure out your portions.

    We all face tough times in our life but we need to focus on the positive aspects nd the things we can do to better ourselves and others. When you feel down in the dumps go out and volunteer and help others in need. Help by giving your time and just maybe you will get a smile in return for helping somebody in need.

    I wish you the best and hope that you will be more positive and less down on yourself. emoticon
    2944 days ago
    X man,

    The contestants on "Biggest Loser" are the exception not the rule. Normal people don't lose 30 or 40 pounds at a time. People at our weight lose 2, 3 maybe 4 pounds.

    Take the suggestions of those who have posted before me. Come to my page and look at what I eat for some suggestions.

    Going for a walk is good! That's sometimes all we can do. Keep at it and it does come easier for exercise. Try to find a Leslie Sansone DVD at a used shop, it can change your life.

    I know I'm giving suggestions that cost $$, and I don't know what to say about your financial situation.

    Listen to what Drkeyez says! Don't live off salad! You will be hungering for other stuff real soon.

    Find deep inside you why you truly want to lose weight. Write it down! Write everything down! Log your food, drink your water. log your walks, write down your thoughts, write down your victories, write down your defeats. Learn from them.

    If I can do this, I know you can!!!

    Ali Vincent one of the winners of "Biggest Loser" has a book out and you need to live the title: "Believe It! Be It!" I believe YOU can do this! You need to do this for YOU!!!!


    2945 days ago
    I'm so sorry for your pain X. Can you get on disability or SSI? Not sure what they have in the state you live in but here in MA you can get MASSHEALTH which pays for medication, doctors visits etc.

    It sounds like you eat to fill a void. I've been in therapy for over 4 years trying to figure what my voids are and how to deal with them.

    What's helped me is to find things to fill the void other than food. For me this is yoga, art journaling, crafts, video games ;), reading, etc. I mean to add walking to that list. Really! Yup....keep putting it off.

    You've probably heard this a million times but you need to love yourself. Take time each day to reward yourself-not with food. Do a search on the internet for idea's: self soothing, things to do, etc.

    I think you're very brave to do a video blog!
    2945 days ago
  • DRKEYEZ820

    I wish this process was easy, but if it was easy then everyone would be thin. I wish i could find your WANT and do it for u. But believe it or not u have the want, what you need is the motivation and determination to follow through with your mission.
    You need to find that fire, and that will come when you truely are sick and tired of being where you are.
    Walking is GREAT! Thats how so MANY people lose weight. My mom has fibromyalgia, not sure if u know what that is, but its when your muscles ache so bad, it hurts to move. So many times ive stared at her grinch in pain from getting up, or see her limping just to the next room. She is walking a mile a day, trying to lose weight, and she has already lost 10 lbs, she is a huge inspiration to me, for her to be in that much pain and to walk that mile?!
    The people on the Biggest Loser are not in pain because of exercising, but because of their weight. Your weight X is what is making u weak, it is bringing u down. You take every awful thing anyone has every said to u, u take how much u dont wanna be alone, and u show those people, and u show ur self who u truely are. Are u someone who wants to live life, or are u someone who wants to die?
    When i say u need to DIG DEEP , i mean u need to find what makes u want to lose the weight. I have the faith in u, but that is not enough X, because u need to believe in yourself.
    I agree with Redshoes, good or bad, u need to track EVERYTHING. On paper or this site, that way u can SEE what is going into ur mouth and THINK about ur actions. Exercise alittle but goes a long way. 5 min of walking will burn the calories .
    *HUGS* u can accomplish anything u want, but u need to walk forward.....

    PS. Your not a rabbit, u cant live off of salads, which is probably why your getting board and going back to old ways. U can have good healthy food. Try some scrambled eggs with eggbeaters and a slice of whole wheat toast, maybe some granola in some low fat yogurt, a turkey sandwhich with lettuce tomato , the turkey burgers are great, pair it with some squash or a baked potato. If u wanna go out , go to subway make a HEALTHY sub, whole wheat 6" sub, oven roasted chicken is my fave.

    I feel like u need some guidence in what to cook and what to eat. Ask around, ask people what they like to eat to stay healthy. and im gonna guess its not gonna be all salad. lol.

    2945 days ago
  • no profile photo MONABRI
    My suggestion to you is to focus on helping someone else through volunteer work. (nothing to do with food) I have found that I feel better when I am helping someone else. I think you really would feel better. As for being broke and not being able to afford your medications I believe you can appeal to the drug company and in some cases they will supply your meds free of charge or else very nominal cost. I cant quite wrap my head around this medication thing because here in Canada our medications are supplied to us if we dont have money for them.
    I feel for your pain and wish I had a magic answere. I am wondering if you need some medication for your depression. Please think about joing a volunteer group. I know you will feel better about yourself and you wont feel so alone. If you feel better you will find it will be easier to change your eating habits. Right now , you are self medicating with food to get temporary relief from your pain. I think you need to adress what causes your isolation and work on that. I,m not trying to be critical, I just want to help. Often when you are feeling so low, its hard to see the obvious. Good luck, I hope your feeling better soon.
    2945 days ago
    Yours is the first video blog I have seen on this site. I was struck by how much we have in common. That desire to figure out how to stop that thought process. How to follow these inspiring people who have lost the weight. I don't have alot to lose, I actually lost it once but gained it back so here I am again. But the thought process is pretty much the same. When I'm stressed I want to eat, when I'm bored I want to eat, lonely - eat! But I know what worked before. The 8 glasses of water, tracking my food, exercising (I only did the walking DVD I had)and slowly it came off and my confidence grew but what I forgot to change was my attitude. I need positive reinforcement so I come here to sparkpeople. I guess I just have to take it One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. You are not alone, just wanted you to know it's not the weight it's our thinking. We can change it! God bless and good luck!
    2945 days ago
  • REDSHOES2011
    Quit the self bashing X.. Walking is real X.. Log you food man! When you get up prepare your food and log that crap.. When you walk, time it and put it in the minutes section.. When you eat something log it.. You have to make routine and remember to do stuff like brushing teeth..
    You don't want to take drugs, you have diabetes you have to take the drugs X..
    You have my attention! Don't disappear again.. I am offering to support you so get on that camera daily..

    Perhaps join Team Indy http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/

    Alot of other people needing to loss major poundage.. Will also understand where you are X..

    emoticon emoticon
    2945 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/22/2011 2:32:46 PM
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