Yesterday was a bad bad BAD day! Please don't judge me!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Urghhhh. I need to blog this and just get it out of my system and move the hell on. I took the day off work sick yesterday, because I was just not feeling it (naughty, I know, but I'm sure we all do it!). This was mistake Numero Uno...being at home took me right out of my normal eating routine, and it was downhill from 10.30am.

I ate my normal breakfast, but then decided (like an idiot) to raid the snack cupboard. Ok, so didn't do too much damage, but was definitely eating out of "I just want it" rather than "I'm hungry". Mistake Number 2.

I decided that I would then eat normally for the rest of the day, because that kind of behaviour was just not on, and completely against what I had planned for myself. But then, it hit 1pm and I was ready for lunch. Instead of eating the lunch I had packed the night before to take to work (before I decided to skive!), I instead decided I wanted to fry up some potatoes and raid the freezer for some birds eye chicken. Not just one. TWO! Two pieces. I'm not gonna lie, it was delicious. I didn't even think afterwards that I need to stop, go and track it, and salvage the rest of the day. Mistake Number 3.

Couple of hours later, still bumming on the sofa, I decide I now need a chocolate fix, so visited the snack cupboard once again. Took the remaining chocolate covered honeycomb bites, and then saw that there was just 1 packet of animal biscuits left, so decided I might as well just finish them, cos at least I won't have to worry about them the next day. And then I saw juice. I haven't drank juice for over 2 weeks, so decided I might as well just have it today, given all the other stuff I've had, might as well right?! Mistake Number 4.

After all this, I decide I'm just gonna put today down as a fail, so no point going for my planned run. So then thought, Ok I feel like ordering a Chinese take away whilst I watch Waterloo Road. It arrived, I ate it all, to the point where I felt absolutely disgustingly unbelieveably sick. Mistake Number 5.

Now it's 8.30pm. I'm on the sofa, feeling absolutely disgusting and stuffed to the brim. Talking to my boyfriend on Skype. And all of a sudden I come to my senses. I think "What the hell have I just done!??? I'm going to Dubai in 3 weeks to see him, and all day I've been a big fat beast and pigged out! I NEED to stick to my 5K plan and go for a run NOW, even though I am feeling disgustingly sick and my belly is popping through all the food I've just eaten". So I put on my workout clothes, and head out for a run. It's dark outside, so I can't run in the park, so I run on the road. Fast. Really fast. Mistake Number 6. Surprised I'm marking this as a Mistake? Trust me...BIG mistake.

So I'm pounding the pavement, feeling proud that I went for my planned 35 minute run. I'm going like a speed demon, trying to counteract all that food. After 15 minutes, I start feeling queasy; the food is rising, I am getting serious heartburn. Can't give up: need to make that 35 minutes. I keep going. 25 minutes; I am seriously going to be sick. I slow down to a slow jog. Still need to make that 35 minutes or I'll feel gutted with myself. 34 minutes: only 1 minute remaining, push push push. Conpleted 35 minutes. Slow down to a walk, for about 30 seconds. I can feel the food coming up. Luckily I'm right by the park now. I run into the park...and promptly puke up my guts!!!! Literally, I stood there throwing up for like 10 straight minutes. I then walked back to my house, drank half a litre of water, and threw up for 5 minutes again. Til there was NOTHING left in my stomach! It was honestly awful. Yes, I probably got all the Chinese out of my body (which, in a really sick twisted way, I was kinda pleased with! I know that's awful and such a bad thing to say, but I'm just being honest!), BUT I felt like "What am I doing to myself!?"

I sipped water for the rest of the evening, and gave myself a GOOD talking to. I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to even look at Chinese takeaway the same way again. I will NEVER do that to myself was the worst feeling ever. Yes, I am proud that I still worked out. But I am so disappointed in myself for bingeing in the first place. Lesson TOTALLY learnt. Today is a new day. I have planned and packed breakfast and lunch for work, and I am going to go to the gym tonight, then play netball, then hopefully go for a swim if my match finishes on time. And I will erase from memory the awful day yesterday. On a better note, I still did track everything I had yesterday (unfortunately only after it had all been eaten), because there is no point hiding from it (put the Chinese as half a meal, although in truth it probably went down to nothing!!!)

Today is a new day! It's done, I'm over it (kinda!).
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SAX_88
    ok, the name of this reply is:

    For Whom The bell Tolls

    As you read this response, please ring the proverbial bell each time I point out why you should beat yourself up about yesterday.

    Ok, as we venture through life's paths of twisted goals, achievements, and accomplishments, we will find that the aforementioned roads are sometimes riddled with obstacles which will cause slips, stumbles, and falls. Sometimes, WE cause our own potholes, but often, the potholes are hidden until we happen upon them. When we bypass the potholes, we call it success, and when we sink into one, we tend to call it failure.

    Falling into a pothole isn't necessarily failure. When you lift yourself out of it, you are progressing. When you reach your hand out for someone else to be able to help pull you out, THAT is progress. And, when you recover from a stumble, you tend to remember the feeling and can help others avoid the same plight. So, often, our "stumbles" are stepping stones toward a higher plain. We learn from them, gaining strength and wisdom.

    No one is perfect. Jesus is the only perfect soul on earth. I encourage you to see perfection as a straight line. NONE of us stays on that line all of the time. We stray from it from time to time. The trick is not to stay on the line always. we can't. We're human. We are fallible creatures. The charm of the matter is to find our way BACK to the line when we stray, and if you can grab the hand of a fallen soul or two on your way BACK to line, that's even more golden.

    My dear friend, yesterday, you strayed from the line. ONE, or a series of wrinkles does not define your progress. YOU do. Keep charging, stay encouraged, and continue to be a blessing to yourself, and an inspiration to others.

    (Did you notice?...The bell didn't ring at all...neither should ANY doubt of your progress.)

    3404 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9954196
    Today is a new day! No judgements here, we've all been there, done that before. Don't think of it as a fail, consider it a lesson learned!

    3404 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    Back to work today? Nobody there need to know... your life lesson learned...onward and upward!!!
    3404 days ago
    3404 days ago
  • LAURIE160IN2013
    "... decided I might as well just finish them, cos at least I won't have to worry about them the next day." Oh yeah. I do this a lot when I make the mistake of buying junk food. What am I, a garbage can? Well, enough of that. Thank you for the cautionary tale--I needed to read this. Today is a new day for us both!
    3404 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10386126
    Brand new day, you know what you did wrong,go from there! emoticon
    3404 days ago
    Yup you are right, TODAY IS A NEW DAY!!
    3404 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by ADZY86