Yesterday was a bad bad BAD day! Please don't judge me!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Urghhhh. I need to blog this and just get it out of my system and move the hell on. I took the day off work sick yesterday, because I was just not feeling it (naughty, I know, but I'm sure we all do it!). This was mistake Numero Uno...being at home took me right out of my normal eating routine, and it was downhill from 10.30am.
I ate my normal breakfast, but then decided (like an idiot) to raid the snack cupboard. Ok, so didn't do too much damage, but was definitely eating out of "I just want it" rather than "I'm hungry". Mistake Number 2.
I decided that I would then eat normally for the rest of the day, because that kind of behaviour was just not on, and completely against what I had planned for myself. But then, it hit 1pm and I was ready for lunch. Instead of eating the lunch I had packed the night before to take to work (before I decided to skive!), I instead decided I wanted to fry up some potatoes and raid the freezer for some birds eye chicken. Not just one. TWO! Two pieces. I'm not gonna lie, it was delicious. I didn't even think afterwards that I need to stop, go and track it, and salvage the rest of the day. Mistake Number 3.
Couple of hours later, still bumming on the sofa, I decide I now need a chocolate fix, so visited the snack cupboard once again. Took the remaining chocolate covered honeycomb bites, and then saw that there was just 1 packet of animal biscuits left, so decided I might as well just finish them, cos at least I won't have to worry about them the next day. And then I saw juice. I haven't drank juice for over 2 weeks, so decided I might as well just have it today, given all the other stuff I've had, might as well right?! Mistake Number 4.
After all this, I decide I'm just gonna put today down as a fail, so no point going for my planned run. So then thought, Ok I feel like ordering a Chinese take away whilst I watch Waterloo Road. It arrived, I ate it all, to the point where I felt absolutely disgustingly unbelieveably sick. Mistake Number 5.
Now it's 8.30pm. I'm on the sofa, feeling absolutely disgusting and stuffed to the brim. Talking to my boyfriend on Skype. And all of a sudden I come to my senses. I think "What the hell have I just done!??? I'm going to Dubai in 3 weeks to see him, and all day I've been a big fat beast and pigged out! I NEED to stick to my 5K plan and go for a run NOW, even though I am feeling disgustingly sick and my belly is popping through all the food I've just eaten". So I put on my workout clothes, and head out for a run. It's dark outside, so I can't run in the park, so I run on the road. Fast. Really fast. Mistake Number 6. Surprised I'm marking this as a Mistake? Trust me...BIG mistake.
So I'm pounding the pavement, feeling proud that I went for my planned 35 minute run. I'm going like a speed demon, trying to counteract all that food. After 15 minutes, I start feeling queasy; the food is rising, I am getting serious heartburn. Can't give up: need to make that 35 minutes. I keep going. 25 minutes; I am seriously going to be sick. I slow down to a slow jog. Still need to make that 35 minutes or I'll feel gutted with myself. 34 minutes: only 1 minute remaining, push push push. Conpleted 35 minutes. Slow down to a walk, for about 30 seconds. I can feel the food coming up. Luckily I'm right by the park now. I run into the park...and promptly puke up my guts!!!! Literally, I stood there throwing up for like 10 straight minutes. I then walked back to my house, drank half a litre of water, and threw up for 5 minutes again. Til there was NOTHING left in my stomach! It was honestly awful. Yes, I probably got all the Chinese out of my body (which, in a really sick twisted way, I was kinda pleased with! I know that's awful and such a bad thing to say, but I'm just being honest!), BUT I felt like "What am I doing to myself!?"
I sipped water for the rest of the evening, and gave myself a GOOD talking to. I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to even look at Chinese takeaway the same way again. I will NEVER do that to myself again...it was the worst feeling ever. Yes, I am proud that I still worked out. But I am so disappointed in myself for bingeing in the first place. Lesson TOTALLY learnt. Today is a new day. I have planned and packed breakfast and lunch for work, and I am going to go to the gym tonight, then play netball, then hopefully go for a swim if my match finishes on time. And I will erase from memory the awful day yesterday. On a better note, I still did track everything I had yesterday (unfortunately only after it had all been eaten), because there is no point hiding from it (put the Chinese as half a meal, although in truth it probably went down to nothing!!!)
Today is a new day! It's done, I'm over it (kinda!).