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It is hard having a child with ADHD.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

We had back to school night for parents last night at my son's school. He just started Kindergarten and it has been a stressful situation. He is constantly getting in trouble on the bus because he doesn't listen and last night he was a terror.

He wouldn't sit still. He wouldn't listen. He kept fidgeting around and yelling out in the middle of the presentations. I kept looking around at all of the well behaved children and wondered why my child can't be like that. I felt like I was being judged for having such a bad child. I am fairly good at reading people and every time my son would yell out or I would tell him to be quiet, another child's parent would turn around and look at me like I am a pathetic parent.

When it came to meeting his teacher I was already at the end of my rope. I had to ask her to fill out a paper for his psychologist (to officially diagnose him). After I asked her she looked at me and said, "Hang in there." and patted my arm. I went outside of the room and just lost it. I was mad at my child for being so horrible and I was mad at the fact that my frustration showed so much. It is hard not to hold him accountable for his actions when I see all of the other children acting normally and listening and being quiet.

Why my child? Patience is not one of my virtues and this is the most trying test I have ever had to deal with.

This has been affecting my weight loss. I am stalled and I have been stressed. I said I was going to be positive from now on but this is a hard thing to get past. I don't know how to handle this situation and it feels like I get more and more frustrated with my son and his actions. He does have the possibility of going on medication soon but that isn't a cure all for his situation.

Sorry, there wasn't really a point of this blog other than to get some feelings out. I have a lot on my plate right now and I am trying to navigate this new territory. Thanks for listening.
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  • SWEETP84
    My sister is always telling me my oldest son has ADHD. I tell her she is full of it. I already have one child with a disability, and I cannot handle another medical term in my small brain. So she just looks at me with her two perfect children by her side -3rd (undoubtedly perfect one too) and says "it's okay - you don't have to listen to me. You'll find out." Ahh! it makes me soooo angry. honestly.. but really sweetheart. I understand the stresses of the situation. He does the same thing at grocery stores, preschool, etc. etc. etc. I wonder what I am doing wrong... what did I do. I try time outs. I try taking away his favorite things. It just seems to make it worse. why can't my child sit still for 3 minutes.... why won't he listen? Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe it's ADD. But it will get dealt with. And your children have an amazing Mama. And I know you will deal with it brilliantly. Whatever happens. :)
    2455 days ago
    I'm not in your shoes exactly, but I may be there soon enough. ADHD runs in my husband's family and even though he was never diagnosed by a doctor, he has some of the traits. But it turns out that never being diagnosed is a blessing in disguise. An ADHD diagnosis and medication can limit future career choices. My husband gets to pursue his dream career as a pilot because he has never been diagnosed. An ADHD diagnosis could have ruined his dream. I believe that the military also has some issues with an ADHD diagnosis.

    I'm not going to say your son doesn't need medication because I don't know him. And I know there are plenty of people for whom the benefits of medication largely outweigh the negatives. But I do encourage you to find a support group and look into behavior therapy first.

    Good luck.
    2463 days ago
    Feel free to vent anytime. We're here to support you!

    2467 days ago
    I know it's hard not to become frustrated with yourself.. but please be kind to yourself.. this is all new ground you are navigating.. You are still learning the ropes of ADHD. I think the suggestion of finding support groups is an excellent one.. People who have "been there, done that" are the ones who can really relate and offer advice or suggestions (but in the end it is only you and your family who will know what is right for you...)...
    Maybe try to find some small ways to pamper yourself on a somewhat regular basis through this difficult time? 20 minutes alone to read a good book or a manicure, etc?? Doesn't help with the problems but sometimes a mini-break is enough to help you regather and refocus. Keep venting here if you need to as well... sometimes it just helps to put it in writing. Maybe even keep a journal..someplace you can pour your heart out as much as you want and not worry what anyone thinks of what you write...
    I always try not to worry about what other people think (hard I know..).. If they don't like it ..tough .. I say... they are not living my life and have no idea what may or may not be going on. (yeah..easier said than done I know..)..

    2468 days ago
  • RENMO99
    As someone who was diagnosed with ADD at a young age, I can tell you that it gets better. With age and time spent doing behavior therapy as well as medicine, it gets better and some people learn to function without medicine, without therapy. That day is probably far in the future (I was in high school before I was able to permanently get off my medication) but it is a possibility. In the meantime, there are numerous resources for parents now. I know for a fact that there is at least one magazine about parenting kids with ADD/ADHD and I'm sure that with a quick Google search you can find online support groups and maybe even resources that will help you find a local group. emoticon
    2468 days ago
  • KJMAZ2011
    I'm not sure if you have FB but you check out "Shut up about your perfect kid!" Its an amazing group of women with children with very range of disorders, and how they cope. Reach out to them, send them a message. You aren't alone.
    2468 days ago
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