I got what I asked for...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
well, it's been a really fun summer. First year with the new pool. Lot of friends came to visit, lots of neighbors came to visit. Been very lazy, partying summer. margaritas poolside was my favorite part of the day. I just made it last well into the night. This was the first summer of doing absolutely nothing but party and hang with great friends.
I guess it sounds better than it was.
I bought some clothes in a bit larger size than I ever wanted to last winter. I figured I was going to lose the weight I gained and buy new things this year. Well, with all the summer fun, I didn't lose weight. Obviously. I just put on those pants from last year, you know, the ones I bought for the mean time. The size I swore I'd never buy. Well, they are soooo tight on me they hurt. Why am I shocked? I deserve that. Junk food and alcohol just doesn't do a body good.
I think I'm now shocked I let it get this bad. I'm so discouraged. I hope I didn't make the point of no return. I'm so disappointed in myself. I want to drown in cookie dough. I want to eat all the candy I can find. And believe me, living in the Hershey PA area, that's a ton of candy!
I started back at the gym first day of school as I always do. I have absolutely no energy, My back hurts from gaining weight and the fact I've stopped stretching out my body and it's stiff as can be. I can barely touch my knees. Frustrated for sure. Have I mentioned I no longer sleep well? This is the most horrible feeling I have ever felt in my life.
My first goal was to get back to the gym. Make it for two weeks monday thru friday. Even if I didn't workout well, at least I got in the habit of going. Now I'm on week 2 of doing treadmill runs and ellptical monday thru friday. Next week I'll add in some weights for two weeks and then add in classes. I hope the littlest steps will get me back to moving again.
I hate the way I feel. This was the first time I really let everything go and more. I weigh more than when I gave birth to my sons. I just feel horrible. I want that healthy attitude back, I want to sleep well again and I want to finally lose this weight I've carried around for so long.
I just wish I had more time to be on the threads with my spark buddies once again. I miss them so much.