I got what I asked for...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

well, it's been a really fun summer. First year with the new pool. Lot of friends came to visit, lots of neighbors came to visit. Been very lazy, partying summer. margaritas poolside was my favorite part of the day. I just made it last well into the night. This was the first summer of doing absolutely nothing but party and hang with great friends.

I guess it sounds better than it was.

I bought some clothes in a bit larger size than I ever wanted to last winter. I figured I was going to lose the weight I gained and buy new things this year. Well, with all the summer fun, I didn't lose weight. Obviously. I just put on those pants from last year, you know, the ones I bought for the mean time. The size I swore I'd never buy. Well, they are soooo tight on me they hurt. Why am I shocked? I deserve that. Junk food and alcohol just doesn't do a body good.

I think I'm now shocked I let it get this bad. I'm so discouraged. I hope I didn't make the point of no return. I'm so disappointed in myself. I want to drown in cookie dough. I want to eat all the candy I can find. And believe me, living in the Hershey PA area, that's a ton of candy!

I started back at the gym first day of school as I always do. I have absolutely no energy, My back hurts from gaining weight and the fact I've stopped stretching out my body and it's stiff as can be. I can barely touch my knees. Frustrated for sure. Have I mentioned I no longer sleep well? This is the most horrible feeling I have ever felt in my life.

My first goal was to get back to the gym. Make it for two weeks monday thru friday. Even if I didn't workout well, at least I got in the habit of going. Now I'm on week 2 of doing treadmill runs and ellptical monday thru friday. Next week I'll add in some weights for two weeks and then add in classes. I hope the littlest steps will get me back to moving again.

I hate the way I feel. This was the first time I really let everything go and more. I weigh more than when I gave birth to my sons. I just feel horrible. I want that healthy attitude back, I want to sleep well again and I want to finally lose this weight I've carried around for so long.

I just wish I had more time to be on the threads with my spark buddies once again. I miss them so much.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD7153502
    You are not at the point of no return. You have returned. It's those little reminders. I have gained back 15 pounds and hit the same spot. You CAN do this.

    Your attitude is spot on. Getting in the habit is key. You'll do well as time progresses. Stretch those muscles (boy do I get that!). It's amazing how it all ties in together - the eating, the weight, stiffness, sleep, attitude.

    Let's you and I keep on the same path together!
    3559 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by CINCIN910