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What is a good friend? What does it mean to you?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

So, I don't have any friends in Michigan that I hang out with on a regular basis. I only have one or two good friends, and even those friendships aren't regular. I miss having friends, I miss feeling like I have friends. So I got to thinking, am I a good friend? And what does being a good friend mean to me? Do other people feel the same way about what makes a good friend? I know when we have children, we start young teaching them how to be good friends through sharing, through conversations, etc. As an adult I have a hard time. I've made a few friends, then they wanted me to share too much and when I couldn't buy/pay, they were gone (not really a friend, more a mooch?) Then through conversations, I don't know what to talk about? I have a wonderful little family (dog/kid/hubby), I do love my job, home, car. Other than that, I don't have much to talk about? I LOVE to have fun. I love to laugh, be silly, crazy. I love bowling (but I am horrible, if I hit 101 it's a good game lol), puttputt can be fun, cards and board games, PS3 & Wii, stuff like that. I've suggested to other couples, we should (play games/go bowling) and never had anyone that followed up. Everyone is always too busy (including us too). So I don't quite know how to do this as an adult. Work/Church/Other parents aren't viable options. I'm not sure? And I wonder how other people see me when they meet me? Do they think I'm totally insane? Or am I nice and fun? or what? lol. In general I don't care, but I would like to have friends, who I would care. . so I guess I have to start caring more first? ugh.
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  • PSKIPPY7811
    I hear you. I only have 2 good friends left. One lives 400 miles away and the other lives an hour away so I hardly ever see her. My husband says he's done with friends because he always attracts the needy mooches too


    If you figure it out, let me in on the secret?
    2399 days ago
    Interesting post. Got me to thinking about adult friendships.

    ~ Faith
    2404 days ago
    So true! True friends as adults are hard to find and keep!! I have the problem that my husband and I are so different and our own choices of friends are so different that trying to get together isn't always a good mix. Pretty strange that most of the things I love in him drive me crazy in his friends...LOL. We also don't do the bar scene, and he doesn't care to take part in church activities so what then? Not many other choices in the rural area we are in. emoticon
    2404 days ago
    I agree whole heartedly! The climate for conventional friendships gets more narrow every day.

    I think that is what makes spark so awesome! Not that I think it replaces my friends, not even. But fellowship is readily available, organized by interests & I think genuine.

    I am your friend!
    ! emoticon
    2404 days ago
    Boy do I hear you!!! I feel the same so often. Someone once told me that I must have a Red Cross sign on the top of my house, because people only come to me when they need help. A good friend that I could just hang out with, talk when I feel like it, cry when I feel like it, say stupid or intelligent things...that would be nice. I have learned that I need to put boundaries on myself with others. If someone else sucks me dry then, I have nothing left for my family. Don't give up. I haven't, and I have been looking for a friend my whole life!! emoticon
    2404 days ago
    My wife and I have different approaches to friends but both work. She became active in our church and has a bevy of friends that study together, work together on projects and share joys and disappointments as they have raised their children. My friends form either around co-workers or sports that I participate in such a golf. If you like bowling get in a bowling league for beginners and friendships will grow from that. But only if you are going to be an active participant and willing to join in a common effort.
    2404 days ago
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