Saturday ramblings. There is no easy way.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I am so glad it is the weekend.

I have done pretty well with my meal plans and workouts, despite the fact I have a cold that is trying to settle in my chest. I am taking TONS of vitamins, drinking TONS of water, and am trying to rest and avoid stress. I don't seem to have the tons of energy others seem to have on this plan, but I DO run most days from sun up until bed time so that might be the reason. I am just glad I am taking some ACTION to make myself healthier. It is much needed and I deserve to take care of myself, as I am juggling a lot of stress.

I need a vacation in all honesty. I need some time with nothing to do, nothing to worry about, just some serious relaxing. I have asked for a little time off around the holidays, but we all know that holiday breaks aren't that restful, at least for me. I am usually the one who does the cooking and busy work. So I am not really counting that as time off. I just don't want to do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping AND work a full day on top of it all. I am going to have to start thinking about WHEN to take my time off.

My daughter is also giving me stress. She is a very NEEDY child right now. At 15, she thinks she is all grown up, but yet has temper tantrums and is as unreasonable as a two year old some times. Her latest thing is she thinks she is fat. A year ago she was a bit overweight, but she has gone from 155 to 135 and looks pretty good I think. She has been asking me for diet pills and slim fast, neither of which I think she needs. She wants a gym membership too, but in this economy, even I can't afford one. Maybe when things pick up we can get a family membership. But for now, I have given her full access to my elliptical, weights, and all the fitness stuff I have. She will have none of it though. At this very moment, she is stomping around her room, saying that if I won't buy her what she wants, she will get stuff to help her lose weight off the streets. I am just ignoring her. She is such a drama queen, and I am quite over her tirades. She has GOT to learn the world does not revolve around her. So quickly she forgets that I JUST spent over $500 in school clothes just for her (her brother got $100), I JUST this month bought a class ring for her, and that was $300, I could go on and on. It is so irritating that she doesn't understand how good she has it.

Her BFF lives two doors away from us. The mother is the most lenient parent on this planet. Our school has been in session since 8-18, and her daughter has missed at least one day aweek, not counting the times she has ditched school. Last week she missed Thursday and Friday. Her mom doesn't seem to care about missing school, as there are no consequences. Worse, she and the other mom had a carpool agreement. I would take the girls to school, she would pick them up. She has not been picking my daughter up on the days her kid misses school, so I have to leave work to go get my daughter after school. Thankfully my job allows some flexibility, but it is just annoying. Of course, my daughter sees how her friend is allowed to simply not attend school with no repercussions and is now thinking I am a bad mother because I won't let her do whatever she wants.

The last few days I have had some very frank discussions with my daughter. I have told her that I am NOT anyone else's mother by HERS. I have told her I think the other child's mother is making a HUGE mistake by not enforcing the consequences for the bad behavior. I told my daughter that YES, she can make bad choices if she chooses, but there WILL be consequences and they WILL be enforced.

As for the threats my kid makes when I tell her no. I have told her that her immature responses to my explanations leads me to believe she is not as grown up as she would like to believe. I told her if she wants to be treated like a grown up, she must ACT like a grown up.

I guess my point of this blog is that I am tired. It is so easy to take the easy way out. I am trying to "walk the walk" with my daughter. I don't want her to think that ditching school, taking diet pills, and starving one's self is the way to achieve her goals.

At this point, I have said all I can say to her. I am spending today trying to rest as much as possible. I am batch cooking some food right now, so if she really wants to lose a few more pounds, she can choose to eat the healthy food I am making. Life is about choices. Hopefully she will see that working hard for what you want is worth the struggle in the end.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think you are doing ALL the right things. Stay strong!
    2781 days ago
    Sounds like you're doing the right thing! She will thank you later when she is over her hormone-brain phase. Great job setting an example of how to live healthy for her! Maybe she would workout with you? Could be some good mother/daughter bonding time.
    2782 days ago
  • NICKY820
    I could have written your blog 14 years ago. My now 29-year-old daughter is amazing! HOWEVER, I could hardly speak to her, I avoided her, from about 14-19. She was insufferable.

    This may be cold comfort, but, this, too, will pass. Hang in there and don't compromise your values.
    2782 days ago
    You are right on the money with your's tough, but it's worth it. This lenient mother? She's going to have some serious, SERIOUS regrets!

    2782 days ago
    Good for you for staying strong with your daughter. You are her parent, not her friend. One day, she will thank you. Kids pay more attention by our actions, so I applaud you for walking the walk. I have a very strong willed 5 year old girl. 5 and 15 are a lot alike in some ways. We have to be firm, loving, and not tolerate bad behavior. Stay strong momma!
    2782 days ago
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