This Week's Lesson: Patience

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Slow and steady wins the race... I get it, I do. But I wish that ones motivation and clarity could be so patient and leveled. I just came back to Spark at the end of August after being on hiatus this summer; I'm feeling good, on track, setting goals, working consciously to meet my goals. But a part of me, is just begging for results NOW! Which is completely unreasonable! I know. I'm working on getting that voice under control. This to me, is where self-sabotage begins - the impatience. You need to persevere to see results. You need to put in the time. You need to be patient and consistent. And then your reward will be the results - the weight loss, the lost inches, the endurance, and the confidence. So this week's personal lesson is patience! I'm not going to become disappointed or discouraged by the numbers on the scale this week. My scale has been a bit of a roller coaster this week though... 210.6 up to 212 down to 209.8 and finally landed today on 210.2. I've exercised 6 days this week, and have been 'mostly' mindful of my eating - I've done well to get more fruits and veggies and cut out junk. But I need to start using my food scale again to manage portions better, and I need to not eat after 7pm - this was a bad habit that I slid back into this summer. ARGH! So it is what it is. I am starting a new week, with a fresh perspective... I forgive myself any missteps this week, they offer me learning and focus for this new week ahead. If I keep making each day better than the last, then gradually LITTLE BY LITTLE it will pay off.

I realized the other day that my oldest girlfriend's birthday is next Wednesday, she's turning 30... shhh... we aren't really acknowledging our birthdays this year! LOL! Anyway, with the turning of this birthday we've known each other for half our lives - long time! I'm working on putting a positive spin on the number 30! Feeling some anxiety over this, despite knowing it's just a number. In this reflection though, I've been reminiscing over my life goals that I've set through the years. And I've just realized that none of my goals were beyond 30 really... Some have been super vague and could happen whenever and those ones were the ones that no effort was being exerted on to actually accomplish... but then there was "Have children, and be finished making my family by 30" or "buy a house by 30". Well my birthday isn't for another 3.5 months - so in the time until then I'm going to give some focus to where I'm going from here... Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? Without answering these questions and working towards something, I will just flounder and float through the years with no direction... with no direction comes no accomplishment. And this will simply not do!

As a family we've planned out the extra-cirriculars for this fall. And we've decided things are going to be different this year. First let me recap for you what last year was like... I work full time, 8-430 Monday thru Friday... and then there was the evening activities:
Mondays we had Beavers (my son was a Beaver, and I actually was a Leader), Tuesday was Cubs,
Wednesday was Gymnastics,
Thursday was Swimming and/or activities at the Y...
Friday was nothing - who am I kidding there was a weeks worth of housework,
Saturday was Swimming for another child
Sunday was more housework so that we could do it all again!
At the time, it was just what we were doing. Our boys wanted to do activities... heck, they NEED to do activities to be healthy, keep busy and stay out of trouble. ;) But really, where was I scheduled into all that? I felt guilty saying that before - like it was my responsibility as MOM to take care of my boys in this way. And it is, to some degree... and I do sacrifice for my boys, but I refuse to sacrifice my own health and well-being week by week. So this fall - I've decided that I will be a priority too! I will not be out EVERY night - they will not be out every night. We've sat down and decided on swimming lessons on Sundays, and Monday evenings for activities. Two nights of activities instead of 5 sounds like a deal to me! In our 'free' time we are going to be more active as a family - and do things TOGETHER! This sounds better to me anyway! We will hike. We will swim. We will play. And we can't forget all that housework, well it'll be done too - by all of us, little by little each day of the week so that it's not such a big job on one day. And I will have more energy. And I will have more ME-time to schedule in workouts whether that means at the gym or at home. Our goal is that this will lead to a more relaxed family; less schedules to keep + more time together = happy!

Anyway, I've totally rambled long enough this morning... Take care SparkFriends, and stay focused on your goals this weekend!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh my goodness! This is just unreal how in sync we are. If I weren't 4 years older, I'd think you were my long lost twin!

    Just last night as I was winding down for the evening, I sat down and considered the things that I need to make a real effort in changing (I stopped just short of making a commitment to myself, but I think today I am ready for that)... to stop eating after 7pm and to pull out my fancy-shmancy food scale and start weighing/measuring out my portions properly. These two things basically make or break my caloric intake. I can do GREAT all day long. But wait until 7:30 rolls around and I will blow it on something worthless like an extra plate and a half of leftovers. And as far as portions, I know this is sooo important. Because I will eyeball & tell myself that I'm only having X amount of calories, but those extra teaspoons/tablespoons that I don't count correctly can completely nullify those 300 calories I worked so hard to burn. I also added in there to drink my 10+ cups of water every day because it makes a HUGE difference (and I have a tendency to realize I've had nothing but 2 cups of coffee by bedtime).

    Not only that, but just this morning I got up early because I knew that I had to start scheduling in MY time. And I decided that it is ok to let some other things slide, even though I may deem them important. How important will those things be if I die prematurely because of some obesity related condition? I need to do things for me, and that's ok. And even on those days where I doubt that (because they do come), I need to remember that as small as these decisions seem right now (should I eat that extra helping... can't I just work out another day), I need to remember that this isn't just for me. I don't want to leave my children without a mother.

    Ok, since I made this so long already... I'm just gonna keep going, lol!

    About turning 30, take it from me, it ain't so bad after all. Just like you, I was soooo apprehensive (in denial, if you may). I did NOT want to give up my youth... and that's what 30 meant for me. But looking back now... I wouldn't give up 33 for 29 for all the money in the world. I may be fat. And I may have some issues. But I am more WOMAN now than I ever was before. A real GROWN woman. I have a self-confidence now that young THANGS ain't never known (not talking about my body... because I will be the first to admit that I still have major insecurities with that.... but self-confidence in who I am). It has totally changed the dynamics of my relationships with others... but more importantly, with myself. I know who I am. I know what I want. I know what I am capable of. And I am NOT afraid to do it.

    Girl, I no longer look back. I am keeping my head high and a switch in my walk, because if all of this comes by 35... I can't wait to see the woman I will be by 40 (God-willing).
    2813 days ago
    30 was one of my most memorable and fun birthday ever. It was the last hurrah before my friends and I all had babies. I love your new plans b for your family. Take care!

    2813 days ago
  • MISSY0356
    Great blog, we can all use some more patience. Thanks!!!!
    2813 days ago
    Great plans..you can do it!!
    2813 days ago
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