Cry, Scream, Shout, Let it Out
Friday, September 09, 2011
I had a sh*t A$$ day today. My mood was just complete crapola. Yes, this may be one of THOSE blogs. You know what I'm talking about....
My day started with a craptastic weigh in... I was SO sure, SO certain, I would have been closer to 222. I was very proud of my last weigh in of 223, and I was super careful about sticking to my calorie range and tracking everything. Drank my water. Had a streak of fab workouts. All to get 225 on that scale. WHAT THE FRUCK? Not gonna lie... the tears welled up. I imagine that what I felt like is sort of what a balloon feels like when it deflates. Just totally out of air.
Well, there really wasn't anything I could do about it. Wait, there was. I got more mad. And what I still have yet to learn won't work, I sabotaged myself. Jalapeno fried chicken bites, french fries, and a large coke. Crap I haven't had in weeks. I admit, I did feel better, for a few minutes. And then my husband, who is losing weight without even trying that hard (not nearly as hard as I am trying), throws me his last few chicken bites. I felt like the dog. Here's the leftovers that I just couldn't eat, chow down.
So what's a girl to do? Nothing, really. Feel guilty. Beat myself up. Call myself names and go cry in the bathroom. But today, I wasn't feeling that. So I put my little boy to bed, and changed into my workout clothes. I figured if I at least did something, it would be better than nothing. So I ran. And I pushed myself a little harder than usual.
I felt better.
Now the only thing I can really do from here on out is learn from my mistakes. One of my favorite things to say is, "Keep moving forward" and I shall do just that.