I-AM-X

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Reality Is Often A Bit Darker Than Fiction.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The last two days while I have been getting it in I have gotten in too much. I ate like a ton of salad and a bit too much meat and just went overboard. I had a brownie yesterday and felt like a real a hole. As much as I did not want it, I WANTED IT !!!

I understand why people beat themselves up, one moment you feel super powerful and the next you are like beat down and want the chocolate.

On the home front I am almost done with all my veggies and still have a good bit of meat. I should have some money coming in this week. I have to learn how to do taxes now.

I have never made enough money to file till this year and now with all this web stuff, I am not sure if there is a point in trying for the Medicaid. I mean they might give me Food Stamps for the first few weeks though it these site pay off then I will be on my own so that is good, I think.

Sort of not so funny how quickly, dr's bills can eat those huge website checks, heck paying my own taxes takes almost a quarter a site away from me.

Arf...

Hi All "Happy Almost Monday"
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CYANIDE_CUPCAKE
    I love this pic of you :) Not sure what it is, but... its totally my favey one of you :)

    No sense in beating yourself up for a brownie. Fk it. We all have them and they are good. Just ONE of my mountains to climb is having just one! lol! I've been saying prayers for you, sweets. All things are going to be awesome! No worries! XOXOXOXOXO
    2968 days ago
  • MYSLIMBODY
    Chocolate is my weakness also chocolate can have healthy benefits. The possible health benefits of chocolate stem from the antioxidant flavonoids. Chocolate comes from the cacao plant, and cacao is extraordinarily rich in flavanols, a type of flavonoid phytochemical. (Other plants rich in flavanols include tea, grapes, grapefruit, and wine.
    German researchers gave 24 women a half-cup of special extra-flavonoid-enriched cocoa every day. After three months, the women's skin was moister, smoother, and less scaly and red when exposed to ultraviolet light. The researchers think the flavonoids, which absorb UV light, help protect and increase blood flow to the skin, improving its appearance. have healthy benefits. So little high quality chocolate could actually benefit our bodies.

    I seen a recipe for healthy brownies. We all have a weakness and need a treat now and than maybe try finding some healthy ones with less guilt attached. Here is a recipe for healthy brownies.

    http://www.foodnet
    work.com/healthy-meal-makeover-
    dark-chocolate-brownies/package
    /index.html


    2968 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    I dont know as the feeling ever really goes away, the power struggle between your mind and food.
    2969 days ago
  • IMMORTALTESSA
    I am glad you are back even if you feel bad about some less than savory eating. Don't be so hard on yourself for a few slips. It is a work in progress and you really just need to understand it will take time to completely change the habits you have formed. I think you should apply for medicaid anyway. It never hurts to try. Besides the websites are probably not steady income and therefore you may qualify still. I wish you would share how you are getting paid for websites though. I could really use an income right now. As for the taxes ... I use turbotax.com. Its free for basic and you can fill online free also. It walks you through it step by step and if you decide you don't want to use them after you finish you do not have to pay and can file somewhere else. I wish you all the best of luck. Keep your chin up and keep fighting for what you want. It is determination that will get you to the finish line eventually.
    2971 days ago
  • DRKEYEZ820
    Aw hun, we all can have bad days, and beat ourselves up about it. I had the most awful week in a LONG time this week.
    The important thing is to ask for help if needed, or pull yourself out of a slump and come here. TRY TRY TRY is all we can do, and if we try each and every day thats what counts. YOU ARE CHANGING, for the good, you recognize good and bad, and we all have urges and wants. My friend and I wanted needed were in the mood for chinese food yesterday and u know what i had it. I am getting back up and im dusting myself off and for some reason i feel more determined then ever. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS! I have more faith in YOU then i do in myself hahaha. But YOUR amazing, and i really admire everything u do!
    AND MAKE SURE U REPORT HOW BAD OR GOOD YOUR DAY WAS! You know how many of us are here cheering for you, and how many of us are worried about u! Dang it !!! *HUGZ*
    2971 days ago
  • ALLPROTAMMY
    The cool thing about all this is you are changing...for the good!!! Keep that in mind when you are having to life's challenges. If you can get food stamps for a bit, then do it. It will give you breathers in other areas until you can take care of this for yourself. Progress can be slow..regardless, it is still progress! Go, X, Go!!
    Blessings sent your way!
    2971 days ago
  • LITTLEKIM4
    On the weight loss front, one piece of brownie shouldn't make you feel guilty. I pretty much have chocolate every single day. I just make sure to make it work within my calorie range. However, on the diabetes front, this might be a different issue. I don't know enough about it to know.

    Anyways, glad to hear you're pulling in more money. Hopefully, this trend continues and you won't have to stress so much about getting your medicine. I have health insurance now, but I didn't always, so I know how stressful it can be. I remember just feeling mortal terror any time I thought I might end up having to go to a doctor or dentist, because I had no idea how I would pay for it.


    2971 days ago
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