JUSTICEDEFENDER

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Saturday, August 27, 2011

I have successfully survived my first week back in college. I wish I could say I have a detailed plan for what I'm going to do in the following month, but I honestly don't. I know I don't want a repeat of this week, with regard to messed up diet and lack of exercise. I want to lose weight, I want to be healthier. I'm tired of being the way I am. I'm sick of being...me.

Ok...so that last sentence probably didn't come out quite as I wanted it, but...it is true. I'm sick of being me...of everything that keeps happening to me. I'm tired of being the guy that is an awesome friend...just not boyfriend material. I'm tired of being the guy who doesn't hang out and play football or basketball because I'm too out of shape to do it. I'm tired of being the guy that sometimes has to keep the jokes going just so that I don't start crying. Maybe weight loss is the first step to changing all that too...maybe it isn't. All I know is, I want to see this through....somehow.
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  • CHANGING_LIFE
    I don't know if I should go with the "tough love" response or not here. Which works better with you? Well, okay. To address many of the issues you brought up, a bullet point list. . .
    1. Being back in college is not about survival. See song "The Motions" by Matthew West. Right now, until you change your mindset into thinking, "It's all about the journey, not the destination" (see Miley Cyrus: "The Climb") you are not going to be happy with anything, regardless of how successful your path is. I learned this the hard way my sophomore year. If you are interested, I can send you a paper about it (perhaps I already have).
    2. You don't need a detailed plan. You simply need to be in your right mind--stop being so down on yourself, friend! Start off with baby steps. Okay, next week you will focus on walking two miles a day. Or, you'll cut soda down to one a day. Something like that. Pick small goals--I'm detailed because that's my personality. I'm regimented, goal oriented by nature. Some people just aren't like that. And if that's not your style, don't try to make it your style. Work for what you want, but just always take positive steps and overcome, no matter how small.
    3. In regards to healthy and exercise, GET OUT AND DO!!!! Until you have that attitude, you won't! In stead of thinking, "I have a desk job, no opportunity for exercise" think "I'm going to take ten minutes to jog in place at my desk." Or "I'll get down on the floor and take four minutes to do crunches and push-ups." If you don't have time, make time.
    4. Awesome friend? Yes, you are. Would I rather have an awesome guy friend or a d bag boyfriend? Awesome guy friend, all the way. And I have never told you that you aren't boyfriend material. I just don't have feelings for you. And, I have told you that I don't know if I have the capacity to have feelings for you. But aren't you the one that tells me that God works things out? I hate to turn your words against you, but I think you are blessed to not have been through all the heartache that I have. You are boyfriend material; you just haven't met that person for whom you will be. Hey, it sucks that I feel like I've struck out so much. But I know my guy is out there somewhere. . .and even if he's not, well, I don't care. I'm happy being single. You have to learn to love yourself first.
    4. You read what I wrote about my experience with cross country. And, a year later, I'm still not skinny and I'm still not fast. But I'm working to improve ME for ME. That's why I love running so much. It allows me to compete against myself and no one else. Yes, it sucks that I gained all that weight in April. But I've almost got it gone. It's all about. . .wait, what? MINDSET. And, perseverance. Stick to it, my friend. You shall overcome.
    3268 days ago
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