ZAIVALA
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Whack-A-Mole

Saturday, August 27, 2011

This has been a very hard time for me. I keep getting knocked down, and get up again. Maybe I'm whining a bit less each time, so that could be a good thing. But this has gone on for months now.

I got a place to live. It's nothing to write home about unless your parents are demolition experts. Now I'm finding all the deposits for water, electric, TV, Internet... I'm already having to get most of the money for the move from my mother, which galls me that I still need to do that at my age, and the number keeps growing.

Then when someone tells me who to go to for help other than my mother, they forget that I can't get there. My car is still in the shop, and I haven't gotten a call on that. I have asked for help. Nobody has offered. Well, they've offered advice, and some of the advice could come in helpful, but I'm still sitting here unable to do anything.

Here's the good news. Rather than comfort eating, I've been comfort starving. I just hit 229 for the first time since Aug 1998, and then I was living in a tent on the river.

I sure hope I can get my life back at the new place. Right now I'm still dependent on others to even get there.

Hugs,
Me
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ZAIVALA
    Thanks, Lisa. I think I was getting the vibe that I didn't "deserve" to be there. One cousin was still upset that it was my brother who died in 1967, I'm sure she'd rather it have been me. I can't do anything about that and don't want to.
    2478 days ago
  • KYRRDIS
    The people who hadn't seen you for decades might have not known what to say to you, rather than rejecting you. They really don't know who you are now. I guess it would depend on your relationship with them before. I know that _I_ didn't know what to say to several of my kin when my grandmother passed. I generally just talked about HER.

    I'm glad you were able to have some time with your son. I hope your move goes as smoothly as a move can.
    2478 days ago
  • ZAIVALA
    I just got back from my father's funeral. There were huge ups, and equally huge and longer downs. People who hadn't seen me for 20, 30, even 50 years acted like they were not interested in seeing me now. Nothing outright hostile, just made me feel like I was nobody important. But the ups were great -- I had several long conversations with my son, who hasn't been talking to me (apparently he is not good at keeping in touch with people, not that he didn't WANT to talk to me), and also one good conversation with my daughter, although she seeme dmore aloof most of the time. I could go on and on about this, but I'm home now and have to get packed up and moved to the new place.


    2479 days ago
  • ASILLA
    Things are often coming along for all of us that bring us ups & downs. Up side would be that you've found a place to go and will have comforts there. Don't know if your in a rural area away from public trans, or if riding a bike might be a possibility. I've used both before, actually rode a bike to get to the bus. Hopefully your car will be repaired for you soon.
    Kudos for you keeping your chin up and a good outlook. There is almost always some good in situations, we just have to look for it...this is something I tell myself almost everyday.
    Congrats on the weight loss :) Just be sure to take care of you, you are very important to a lot of people here Moss.(as am sure othere places as well)
    (((hugs))) Lisa
    2480 days ago
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