I thought I was simply undisciplined, messy. Then, at 55, I was diagnosed with ADD (Isn't that a pretty butterfly over there?!) I realize ADD, difficulty with focusing, complicates sticking with solutions on a daily basis.
Often I walk through my house, not even seeing (connecting with) my hoarding.
I find some parts of hoarding affect me profoundly.
The first is when I acquire something - I get a rush of energy, followed by a profound letdown which I tend not to acknowledge.
Then there is 'Where should I put it?' 'If I put it where I can't see it, it will get lost in the abyss.' 'If I hide it, maybe it won't be noticed that I acquired something... again.' Shame
Another feeling is the anxiety which comes from the anticipation of letting go... What if I actually can finish it? What if I actually do need it? Will I remember the feelings attached to the object?
Sometimes my 'stuff' feels like a protective blanket, insulating me, isolating me, much like my obesity. Both make me feel safe from being approached in a very literal way - physical distance - emotional distance too.
I wonder if hoarding, like food, is an addiction? If so, I am an addict, not only of food, but of acquiring and not letting go of stuff.
Final elements of why I hoard and don't consistently do something about it... I look at my stuff and feel overwhelmed at the idea of dealing with the whole house... my anxiety level goes sky high... if I am going to bother dealing with it, I want to deal with it once and for all instead of having to deal with my feelings and the consequences every day, forever...
Just the idea of facing hoarding, increases my fears and anxiety level.
For today, these feelings are greater than therapy and/or medication. That part really scares me! I am tangled up in my own 'protective' safety blanket of weight and my 'stuff'.
This is why success - dealing with my fears and actively 'dehoarding' daily - seems improbable. Thank God there is a difference between improbable and impossible!
Blinders off and baby steps help me deal with why I hoard.
A resource: understanding_ocd.tripod
It is interesting to go to the next page and read what people sent in, relevent to hoarding.