Saturday 8/20

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Good Morning!

My glucose came in at 163 this morning...

Up working at my desk this morning, Cindy went to a meeting and then some sort of chick/facial appt. Yesterday was a long day...when it rains it pours I guess. I've been working a second job in addition to my own business for about a year now and have made substantial contributions to the new company aside from just producing revenue and we are at the point in the growth that new people are being hired and the rub for me is that aside from my sales comissions...I'm not going to be making much more than the people I'll be being asked to train. So, the long and short of it is...I need to just suck it up and and accept the facts, keep plugging away and throttle back on my emotional investment in the 'team' concept and just do my job and let it go. This is not my natural nature...I'm more of a boss, not an employee and so I tend to do 'everything' or atleast have my hands on all aspects of an operation. I'm a pretty much all or nothing kinda when it came time to have a sit down with the boss about my's not going any higher and the message was clearly delivered that I'm not going to be a partner. So, it is what it is....partly a mix bag of my own personal track record of working for different people where similar situations have on some level, I know it's me and my baggage..but nonetheless it's a rub, as this job started because I have been friends with the owner for several years and was actually a mentor to him for both personal & business matters. So, the 12 year old inside me would prefer to grab my crayons and walk...but as I get older and can be less reactive, I am always trying to challenge myself to look at my part in everything, where could I improve, what's the rational adult move here Ryan?

Anyway, sleep always helps...and of course sometimes life is not fair or how i think should things should be...but that's ok. In the big picture I am very lucky, and have a ton of flexibility and freedom and I'm great at both jobs that allow the financial security to focus on things like my health & happiness without worrying too much day to day about the bills getting paid. I think deep down, I always go for it everyday in every aspect of my life and with work...I just want to be appreciated and for me sometime that comes from a somewhat still immature place inside of me that wants to know from the outside that I'm good enough.

Anyway, last night Cindy made some really tasty chilian sea bass - so good, it has this natural butter flavor that was kinda weird, but still a really great fish. Just gonna plug away here at my desk for awhile this morning and then chill out hopefully for the remainder of the weekend. Have a nice Saturday!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Ah maturity and growth! Keep up the good work MadtownBuddah!
    3270 days ago
    I'm with the others about being a partner at this point. It might be a bit much with everything else you have going on. Not that I don't understand your feelings! I spent a whole career in business, and am still hearing horror stories from family members and former co-workers. You're right about life not being fair.

    Being able to pay your bills and have time and energy to focus on yourself is something to be thankful for in itself.

    Hope you are having a relaxing weekend.
    3273 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/20/2011 10:23:41 PM
    I agree with BAMO -- but --

    I know where you're coming from, in my case I am making less hourly than the person I am being asked to train... Still have not made my mind up as to what to do about it because the manager is paranoid about employees knowing others' wages, so I'm not supposed to know. Sure, I get overtime and health insurance and a retirement contribution which this person doesn't, but still...

    Whatever -- I suppose that it will all work out in the end. You do have to remember that your job came when you were really struggling, so there's a lot to be thankful for. Even so, I know that it still grates and although the head can rationalize it all out logically, the gut still gets that odd feeling. You'll do okay as long as you don't turn to food for "comfort".

    As for not being considered to be asked to be a partner, that may be a good thing, as that could bring on a whole new set of stresses that you probably don't need at the moment. I think you ought to concentrate on the flexibility you have with this and work on building your own business to a point that it offers you the financial security you need.

    Just my opinions, take them for what they are worth...

    Have a wonderful day and enjoy the weekend.

    3273 days ago
  • BAM0827
    Maybe being an employee is what you need right now in your life - you can focus on just doing your job (after you train others), finish your day and have Ryan time. If it was clear that you are were you're going to be in this company, do what the others at your level do and not much more - and know that is OK. An old manager of mine said to a co-worker once - it's a job, not life. You have your other business you can focus on, your health, yourself, your relationship - maybe this is the universe' way of letting you know that!

    I hope you have a great weekend!
    3273 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the job. Sucks when you put so much into it and people don't appreciate you.
    hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend.!
    3273 days ago
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