Saturday, August 20, 2011
My glucose came in at 163 this morning...
Up working at my desk this morning, Cindy went to a meeting and then some sort of chick/facial appt. Yesterday was a long day...when it rains it pours I guess. I've been working a second job in addition to my own business for about a year now and have made substantial contributions to the new company aside from just producing revenue and we are at the point in the growth that new people are being hired and the rub for me is that aside from my sales comissions...I'm not going to be making much more than the people I'll be being asked to train. So, the long and short of it is...I need to just suck it up and and accept the facts, keep plugging away and throttle back on my emotional investment in the 'team' concept and just do my job and let it go. This is not my natural nature...I'm more of a boss, not an employee and so I tend to do 'everything' or atleast have my hands on all aspects of an operation. I'm a pretty much all or nothing kinda guy....so when it came time to have a sit down with the boss about my salary....it's not going any higher and the message was clearly delivered that I'm not going to be a partner. So, it is what it is....partly a mix bag of my own personal track record of working for different people where similar situations have happened...so on some level, I know it's me and my baggage..but nonetheless it's a rub, as this job started because I have been friends with the owner for several years and was actually a mentor to him for both personal & business matters. So, the 12 year old inside me would prefer to grab my crayons and walk...but as I get older and can be less reactive, I am always trying to challenge myself to look at my part in everything, where could I improve, what's the rational adult move here Ryan?
Anyway, sleep always helps...and of course sometimes life is not fair or how i think should things should be...but that's ok. In the big picture I am very lucky, and have a ton of flexibility and freedom and I'm great at both jobs that allow the financial security to focus on things like my health & happiness without worrying too much day to day about the bills getting paid. I think deep down, I always go for it everyday in every aspect of my life and with work...I just want to be appreciated and for me sometime that comes from a somewhat still immature place inside of me that wants to know from the outside that I'm good enough.
Anyway, last night Cindy made some really tasty chilian sea bass - so good, it has this natural butter flavor that was kinda weird, but still a really great fish. Just gonna plug away here at my desk for awhile this morning and then chill out hopefully for the remainder of the weekend. Have a nice Saturday!