Fear and Loathing in my kitchen
Friday, August 19, 2011
Okey dokey. Right. On my long binge free streak, I found confidence and strength, it kept building. And now, I have fear in place of my confidence. The pantry even smells a little of fear. The fridge, too. I am finding myself shrinking away from even thinking about food.
Where is that confident girl who lived in my head a few short days ago?! Tuesday. The loathsome biotch left me in the lurch! A tiny problem comes up and she packs up and takes a long hike. Now I have to either hunt for her, or find someone new. A new confident girl-person who can dwell in my head, tell me that my painted nails still look ok even though one broke off in my boxing glove today. One who can think about planning dinner without feeling panicky.
But I just wanted to take a minute to wish that fair-weather girl from Tuesday a loud "good riddance!" If she can't hang when things get tough, then I need to find a brain-buddy who can. After all, a powerful woman needs a powerful alter ego, right?
Let's call her...Strong Sadie, no no, Sally Strong, nah, Penelope Power-up. Oooh, her middle name can be Positive. Penelope Positive Power-up.