Trying To Look Forward & Positive

Friday, August 12, 2011

We still have no answers on what's wrong with my husband. Somewhere along the line his testing got messed up. He had an ultrasound done - everything was good except he has a fatty liver. I question that as 2 yrs ago he had a full physical including an ultrasound and he was fine then. For what ever reason he was not sent for a CT scan which would show everything that is going on. Instead he's got another test scheduled for the end of September and really that's only a consultation, who knows when he'll get the actual test. I'm starting to get beyond frustrated at this point. He's still in pain but says he's fed up with the doctors and will just live with it till the next appointment. For my own sanity I've decided I have to take the path of just moving forward. No matter the outcome I will have kids to raise, a business to run and a house to keep going.
I start my new job tomorrow! I found a position at a long-term care facility as a Dietary Aide. I am so nervous/scared. I've never done anything like this, I've never worked in a commercial kitchen. It's only part-time at minimum wage but it's a start. I start taking my certification course in September so the job will pay for the courses so nothing comes out of the family budget for it. It's even done by online correspondence so it won't interfere with shifts. I need this. I need to be working, for my own sanity and honestly it's part of my worst case scenario plan. The soap does well, but I need to have a steady pay too. And if worst case isn't needed, this money can go towards opening up my workshop teaching/retail space. Ultimately that is what I want is to teach people to make some of the stuff I do.

I've had some ups and downs with my weight and eating since all this stuff with the hubby started. But I'm getting back on track. I've re-started C25K and I'm trying to get in a daily walk even if it's just 10-15 minutes. This will be easier to do while at work. Right outside the building is a nice bike/walking path that goes down to a park and beach area. Since I will have a 1/2 hour break this is how I'm going to try and use that time. And I think it's a good way to get a break from the stress I know I will feel from this job for the first while.

I know that everything happens for a reason, just wish some of them weren't so long and drawn out. But I just need to be patient and stay focused on moving forward. I can't allow my emotions or his emotions drag me off the path to health and loosing this weight.

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