New challenge. One Size down by October 21.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Hello everybody! It has been over a month since I've updated and that makes me both sad and kind of triumphant. In a way I saw Spark as a part of my life that helped to guide me towards being independent and continuing my lifelong journey of health. But I also miss it all the time and miss the community-feel of it. Today a client asked me if I used Weight Watchers or a certain program to lose the weight and I said no I used a website. I told her the name of it and she was looking at it on her phone while I cut her hair. And it just made me feel reminiscent and made me want to come home!
So anyway, there isn't much to update other than I am still maintaining. Summer has been hard on me and although I still work out 6 days a week, my eating habits are poor. I feel like I can never have both. I either am bored and hate my exercise routine but am eating right, or I'm exercising like crazy but eating crap. I also think I am back on here because I had my first actual BINGE in like 2 months. I felt like an addict who needed to go to a meeting. I've started improving in the past few weeks the quality of my food. Because for about a solid month I ate out almost every night and ate ice cream almost every day. But this month I have cut back and am making more meals at home. Last night I made myself a lunch at home, a beautiful salad with grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomato, and almonds and I just felt so proud of it that it made me feel like I needed to get back into my habit. School starts soon so I want to be back in the swing of eating healthy and packing food because my schedule gets crazier.
So I decided something yesterday. I am a size 8 right now. My struggle is, I'm a size 8 everywhere but my belly. My butt and legs fit the pants beautifully but because I have a belly they are always just that tiniest bit too snug. But if I go to a ten, the waist is ENORMOUS and the legs are even bigger. I got frustrated shopping yesterday because I felt like I'd lost ALL this weight and I'm still having struggled with clothes? I know it's because of my proportion and not my weight. And theres one or two stores where I KNOW i'll have luck and that I just have to know not to disappoint myself in other stores. But it also made me realize I am on the brink of losing another size. When I am good for a week I do become a six and then I eat crap and I go back to an 8. So I decided that I want to be a size 6 by October.
Why October? We are going back to Florida for our Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. And this time we are doing Epcot for the food and wine festival. And I just decided it's a good deadline to give myself. Because I know I can do it. I've been wanting to shed the last ten pounds for months but I decided not to do it with the scale. I am buying a tape measure and doing it with that. I do so much weight lifting I cannot depend on the scale. So I have been putting together core exercises along with my usual strength and going back to some Jillian Michael's dvds for reference because EVERY time I did one of her DVDs I lost a size. So that's my big goal right now.
Other than that I just want to stay how I am. I feel good most of the time. I am trying not to get down on myself and trying to love myself. It gets a little easier every day but I still feel like that fat girl. And I have to learn to give myself room to breathe because I get so hard on myself for indulging.
I missed you all and can't wait to get on all of your blogs and catch up!!