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How Did I Know I Was a FOOD ADDICT???? My Addiction to Food...

Thursday, August 04, 2011

A Spark friend asked me on one of the forums...

She said "Cassandra - When do you think mindless eating turns into food addiction? I mindlessly eat a lot also and I think most people with weight issues have gotten into that bad habit, but when does it transfer to that need/addiction?"

So here's my response....

There is a VAST difference between having a HABIT & an ADDICTION!! A HABIT is something that you can BREAK but a ADDICTION requires TREATMENT...

Because a habit is something like- "You pick your lip & try to break the habit by putting nail polish on your nails." You don't have to go get treatment or support for this.

Addiction is something like: "You're on drugs & must go into a Rehab center to learn how to Stop Using Drugs." This actually requires you seek out treatment & support for this.

I realized I was a Food Addict (have an Addiction to Food)....

1. When I gained over 40 pounds in less than 6 months...

2. When I would think about my next meal while eating my current meal...

3. When I began to sneak food (candy, etc) & stuff the wrappers in the trash can, so no one could see how much I had ate or what I had ate...

4 . When I take extra donuts at the office that someone brought in & quickly wrap 3 or 4 extra donuts in a paper towel so no one would see me. Then eat them throughout the day at my desk in hiding with my back turned. I hid these donuts in a plastic bag b/c I didn't want anyone to know...

5. When I was overcome with guilt/disgust when I would eat cake, not just 1 slice but several slices. I could half a pie in one day, having absolutely no control & then feeling horrible afterwards. Having shame or guilt after I eat certain foods (this is not normal). You should be able to eat foods without feeling guilt, shame, or disgust.

6. When I would clean my house of unhealthy snacks & still get in my car- drive to the store just to buy a slice of cake or some cupcakes...

7. When I found myself in the kitchen again 30 minutes after I just eaten, searching for something else to munch on.

8. When I would wait for everyone to go to sleep or leave the house to eat anything I could find in the frig or cupboard. Then made sure I hid the evidence of what I ate...

9. When I stopped wanting to get on the scale to see how much more I had gained or when all of my clothes stopped fitting after I just purchased them 2 weeks prior...

10. When I could not get food off of my mind & suppress the urge to eat, even if I knew I wasn't hungry but merely knowing the food was just 10 steps away I wanted to eat it & would give in. Then try to convince myself by saying "It's not that bad b/c it's just a bowl of cereal instead of cookies, cake, or ice cream." It was the Behavior (my thinking) that was the problem not the actual cookies, cake, ice cream or even the cereal that was the issue.

11. When I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't have a problem & that I could do this on my own...

12. When my Spouse told me that I needed support & could not fight this on my own. When he said "You can only FAKE IT" for so long. I knew at that moment exactly what he meant.

That's when I knew I was a food addict.

Now my reasons of being a food addict can be completely different from someone else's food addiction. I can only say what made me realize that I truly had a serious addiction & must change before my addiction kills me.

So I can admit my addiction because I am currently learning how to recover from being a food addict... Food addiction comes in various forms. .

There is no more FAKING my addiction...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I enjoy your blog posts! Thanks for the thoughts on addiction/habit.
    2499 days ago
    Fabulous blog. Sums up m life. Hang in there, love.
    2506 days ago
    I love this blog. It should be rated as number 1.
    I had issues with food before, but it wasn't as deep as you put it for yourself. My eating was comfort eating and leaning on it when I needed love and a hug. Like I told my mother. Food never rejects us. My mother is a nosher. I use to be one too. Just eating all day long, and it wasn't a mindless action. I knew what I was doing. NOW! I have a problem eating over 1800 calories a day. The only way I can get in 1800 calories unless I eat fast food. Sad, I know, but I eat clean and healthy at home, but the moment I get into my car and start driving. I see so many things I could be feeding on. And it's hard for me to go into a gas station. Just to pay for gas and walk out. I had to build a fondation of will power under my feet and around my thinking process.. Now, when I want to do some damage. I just pick up the package and read the label. First thing! And now, I have to start driving with a list of the foods I can only eat at fast food places.. A list with the calroies already noted.
    2507 days ago
    Thank you for your insights. What are you doing to get the help you need? I too am suffering and don't know where, or to whom, to go. Thanks so much!
    2509 days ago
    Wow! I could have written so much of what you say here. I have been debating whether to take a chance on a FAA meeting. I tried OA, but didn't feel comfortable with the people in the meeting. I'm glad to see someone like me here on Spark. Keep up the good work!
    2510 days ago
  • KITT52
    thanks for sharing...I can relate
    2510 days ago
  • YB0511
    Thanks for being honest and sharing.
    2510 days ago
  • RAVEN227
    Friend, this is a great blog, while reading it I was thinking, I used to do some of things. It takes time. I am proud of you...this is step one and the remaining steps will follow...

    take care
    2510 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    overcoming binge eating by Christopher Fairburn covers so many ways people binge that it helped me identify mine.... long rolling binges going hours, days, weeks even months.

    the end of overeating by David Kessler helped me understand there is a chemical reaction in the brain, similar to and as strong as a drug addict, sickerette addict, alcohol addict etc... and this combined with our habits (cultural and personal surrounding food) plus my emotional reliance and dependance; these 3 things combined were overwhelming, with feelings of being out of control and unable to stop and at a loss on how to fix! So realizing it is an addiction let's us begin to understand just how serious and life threatening it truly is. From there we can begin to fix it. Change & improvement do come but it is the equivalent of a drug addict recovering...

    I am so glad you have realized what you are facing, that you have the courage to express it and share the journey with others. You may never know how or when you spark others, but you have sparked me today... It has helped me in profound ways to realize I am not alone... that there are others, here, like u, who are willing to talk about it and share the journey!

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    2510 days ago
    You are very smart and brave to admit to this.

    2511 days ago
    Great list! It really speaks to the symptoms. I laughed while reading #7, thinking, "Wow, only 30 minutes?!" (I recall urges to eat again after just five haha ;)

    It's super that you have so much insight into your problem and that you were able to face the fact that it's a genuine addiction. Some people seem to really struggle to admit their problem is anything more than "being a pig", "being greedy" or "loving food".

    Please feel free to drop my my blogs any time as they are related to this topic. Have a great day!
    2511 days ago
    I think most of us can relate to many of the things you listed.
    2511 days ago
    Thank you for sharing honestly about your food addiction. Seeing it all laid out like that helps others dealing with the same issues. I can say I am a recovering food addict.
    2511 days ago
    I am a food addct too. One taste of a trigger food can send me over the edge.
    2511 days ago
    Great blog!
    2511 days ago
    Wow! I never thought of someone being a food addict. For years I say just give me a vitamin pill or a protein shake, because I do not have time to stop.

    Only after being on prednisone can I comprehend that there might be a food addiction. With that said, is it possible it is a chemical imbalance also? When I am not on prednisone, I do not obsess about food.

    I must congratulate you on facing and tackling your problem. That takes great strength. Any unhealthy addiction is not easy to break, so I applaud you!! WOO HOO! Great Job!
    2511 days ago
    Such a powerful entry! And you are a strong person to face it and deal with it and share it with others. Thank you.
    2511 days ago
    Great blog, this sure clears it up! This will be a real help to those struggling with the same issues. Seeking help even before this becomes an addiction can be useful. I went to OA with a friend several years ago. It helped to know that I could still grasp a control that they had lost. But more importantly it made both me and my friend grasp it. Thank you for this education. It will help me grasp again, because I am once again losing control over food.
    2511 days ago
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