Sunday, July 31, 2011

As I have decided to stay home today and just take some time to reflect I made the gruesome discovery LOL that (as we all know) everything in my life that I dont like is a reflection of me. It is absolutely adsurd that we will stay uncomfortable when we know its bad for us than be uncomfortable to be successful. Why is that a STUPID fear that we have? I have always been a self motivated person but somewhere along the way I lost it. I lost who I know I can be and who I have been, again this is crazy.

Several years ago my life change in a instant. The minute the phone rang I knew that I was about to become the matriarch of my family and from that point forward I have never been the same. With that change came real pressure to be all and do all for everyone in my family. I wish that if I at least was fore warned I could have made preparation's instead of doing things and having to change later. This is something that I have to get over.

Which leads to where I am now overweight and starting over. Why is it that I feel like I have to do everything all at once. Lose weight, re-vamp my business, get organized etc. I know it can be done but with baby steps not because of the urgency alarm that is going off in my head. I didnt get here overnight so its damn sure not going to get fixed over night. Why cant I be like NIKE and just do it? I used to do that. But, the real question is what am I going to miss? I feel as if I am going to miss so much because I love to eat, everything that I do is surrounded by food & drinks. Its like there is no party if its not involved and boy do I LOVE to party (which is also a result of my weight gain).

The trend for myself is that I am the CLEAN UP WOMAN anybody has a problem they always come to me to fix there problems or ask me how to get out of them etc. So with that being said I need to clean up my own life in more than one way. Last I check it starts with me so why not just do it girl? I'm only hurting me everyday that I let this thing called fat continue to build up. While I still "have it" I have to go ahead and fix it.

Reading all of the blogs so many people have overcome obstacle that are inspiring to me. That thing inside of us called WILL is a bad mutha(*shut yo mouth) it can make you or break you. I dont want to be broken because I have almost been there . So it is time for me to live up to my last name because I am STRONG! emoticon
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