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Here I Go Again

Sunday, July 24, 2011

My dad died on March 26. Since then, I've gained 20 pounds back. I swear, grief made me hungry.

I'm not going to beat myself up. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm an emotional eater, and that's exactly what I've been doing. The shtuff hit the fan, and I reverted back to old habits.

I'm surprised at how fast the weight came back. That is humbling. The only thing to do is to start right back at it again.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple of weeks about why my reaction to my dad's death was to let go of my healthy habits. I have been frustrated and worried for a long time that quite a few people I love are overweight and have health problems that could be helped if they took better care of themselves by eating better and exercising. I have been worried about something bad happening, and I was focusing my energy on taking care of myself so that I could set an example for others. And then my dad died, and it is suddenly clear that there is nothing I can do to change it or anything else that happens.

I'm still doing a lot of emotional eating, and I haven't been exercising. But at least I know what I need to do. And I've been doing a lot of thinking and working my way up to this. I'm ready.

This week, I am jumping back in with both feet. I have my exercise planned, and I am holding myself accountable for planning my food each night for the next day. It's going to be tough, but gaining more weight is not an option. There's no where to go but down from here.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINDAMARIEZ1
    I am so sorry for your loss! My dad has passed as well :(
    1612 days ago
  • TERRIMMIX
    I'm so sorry about you losing your dad. I'm a Daddy's girl myself and I can't even imagine how your heart must have broken. Plus I don't know how it is where you are, but I grew up in the south and everyone and I do mean everyone brings over some sort of comfort food to help you cope and there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting that food or those well meaning folks give you some comfort at one of the saddest times in your life.... now... the good thing is you know what worked before and you can do it again. Your dad would want you to get back to business and get yourself healthy. I hope you don't mind, I added you as a friend. :-)
    2704 days ago
  • LAURAKINS
    Welcome back, you were missed! Sorry to hear about the passing of your dad!
    2977 days ago
  • SUNSHINEBLUE77
    You are awesome and if anyone can get back on track its you. You will do it!
    2977 days ago
  • 4AMAZINGME
    emoticon Sorry about the loss of your Dad. My prayers are with you.

    You can overcome the gain and you will emoticon
    2992 days ago
  • TURBOFIRE
    Sorry to hear about your loss. I took the news pretty bad myself. Good for you getting back up and going :)
    2992 days ago
  • SEEHOLZ
    Soooo sorry about your loss!!! But sooo happy about your return!
    2999 days ago
  • BOVEY63
    So sorry for your loss.
    emoticon
    I certainly understand emotional eating - food has always been my go-to in stressful times.

    So happy to see you online again; and best of luck!
    emoticon
    3010 days ago
  • FIREFLYBRIDE
    I am so sorry for your loss! Getting back on track is hard, but you can do this!
    3010 days ago
  • SINGER73
    Welcome back. You are in the right place emoticon
    3010 days ago
  • SIMPLELIFE4REAL
    That makes a lot of sense.
    3010 days ago
  • PRINCESSNURSE
    I have struggled the last several month too, and I also had a weight gain. You are so right when you say it is humbling. This week lets hold each other accountable and get back into our healthy habits :-)
    3010 days ago
  • COWBOYMAMA
    Sorry to hear about your dad's passing. I had been thinking about you. I have gained back about 10 pounds from just not eating healthy and not exercising. I am trying to get back into my healthy habits one day at a time. You can do this, you are a strong woman.
    3010 days ago
  • SARAHMAC1978
    Hey there! I've missed you on here! Glad to see you are back! I'm really sorry about your dad. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Good luck on getting back into the swing of things!

    emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • NOTABOUTHEFACE
    Good for you for jumping back in.

    emoticon back!
    3011 days ago
  • SPARKYCARLEY
    I really liked this blog. The only time you fail is when you quit! So don't ever quit! Even if you're not seeing much progress, as long as you keep trying you're getting closer to success.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • I_AM_ENOUGH
    I have missed you on here, but now I know where you've been.

    I am so SORRY for your loss! emoticon emoticon

    I can't promise as time goes on it will get easier because honestly it may not. But, I am glad that you are jumping back in with both feet.

    I am here if you need someone to listen, or to talk to.

    ~Brandi
    3011 days ago
  • FANORONHA_14
    You are emoticon You are emoticon
    Never Give Up!
    emoticon
    Life is Good!
    Good Health is the Greatest Wealth!
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
    Philippians 4:13
    emoticon
    3011 days ago
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