I am setting up new goals for myself. Why? Because I’ve slacked and let my other goals go by the way side.
I realized something fairly recently. I am terrified by the thought of failure. I see it in every aspect of my life. I stay in a job that I hate because what if I can’t do anything better. I haven’t gone to school because what if I can’t make the grade. It even spills over to my fitness life.
I truly believe two things (well more than two, but just two for this blog): I believe that human bodies are wonderfully made and are capable of great feats (of strength, of endurance, etc). And I believe (because my parents drilled it into my head) that I can do anything I set my mind to. Which is where the fear of failure comes in (as seen above). But, I want to talk about the fitness side of things for a moment.
I have great aspirations of what I would like to do with this body that God gave me. I want to compete in a figure competition. I want to look at my arms and see the bicep and at my stomach and see the abs. I don’t want to be skinny, I want to be fit. But there is more: I want to do a century bike ride (100 miles). I want to RUN a marathon (26.2 miles) or an ultra marathon (50 plus miles). I would like to combine the two and add a third and complete an Ironman (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 run, all completed within 17 hours). Crazy? Absolutely! Doable? I want to say yes, but that is where the fear of failure sets in. I believe that I could. I was, after all, given two legs, two arms, a strong back. I’m already doing better than some people And wasn’t I told that I am “more than a conqueror” and that I “can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”?
So am I training for any of the events mentioned above? Nope. Why? Fear is the short answer. I am scared that I can’t do it. My spirit says “Oh yes we can. Let’s have at it!” my body says “I’m tired. I can’t run. I don’t swim well. Waa, waa, waa!” (Kind of sounds like a whiny 2 year old now that I think about it.) But the desire still lives on. I literally cried on the last season (I think) of Biggest Loser when one of the alums came back for the car pull challenge and she said that she was doing an Ironman in a few months. Literally cried. Sat there bawling. Teared up talking about it the next day. Because I want that to be me. I don’t want to be afraid any longer. I don’t want this monkey on my back any more.
The same comes to losing weight. I believe that if I set my mind on losing weight that I could. I believe it would fall off. Maybe not as quickly as I want, but in time, I could lose it all. So what do I do? Do I work on losing it? No, I sabatoge myself. Eat way over my calories. Eat things that I know aren’t going to help me lose weight. Sleep in instead of going to the gym. Enough!
So here are the new goals:
These are birthday goals. Things I want to complete by my birthday, next year, hopefully sooner. By the way, my birthday is May 2nd.
I want to be at my goal weight (150 pounds) by my birthday. I am tired of carrying this weight around. I want it gone. I will work on this like a demon if I must.
I want to be able to do 100 pushups and crunches and 25 pull ups consecutively. I cannot do one pull up now, even if you were threatening me with a gun. I might be able to eek out 5 or 6 manly pushups, but that is about it. On crunches, I might get about 30 or 40 out before needing a break.
I want to complete a month of “Whittle My Middle”.
I want to be able to hold an arm plank for 2 full minutes. (I used to be able to hold it for one minute, but I don’t think I can anymore. I’ve let the muscle get too soft.)
I want to RUN a 5k. (I have walked my fair share of 5ks, and half marathons. I want to run one and the start building on it.) I am already signed up for the Woman’s Half Marathon in September. I will walk this one. I haven’t been training and will step that up some. I will not be discouraged since I’ve been slacking on training if it’s not my fastest.
I want strength to replace fear. That is what I want most.
How will I get there? I will do C25K, again. I will not quit this time when it gets rough. I will just repeat the week before, if I feel I cannot handle it. I will work on the websites for 100 pushups, 100 crunches and 25 pull up to complete those. (I need to buy a pull up bar.) As well as mark off a month for Whittle my Middle. (And now when I looked up the websites I see that 1. they have expanded and I will have to include that in my workout and 2. it's 200 crunches. Aye, aye, aye!)
And I am printing this out so I can have these goals in sight at work and at home.
Feel free to come by and kick my butt or ask me if I’ve been working towards these goals. I promise, in return, that I will be truthful.
(Not sure about the squats. I'm not sure my knees can handle them.)
(That should banish those bat wings I have.)
And finally the Whittle my Middle workout.
That last one is intense!!!!! I don't think I could do that right now. But I am pledging to do so by my birthday in May. (I'm praying that putting this out there makes me want to do it. And that I don't delete the blog out of embarrassment from failing.) I think the easiest one of the challenges above will be the sit ups (or crunches, look at the website, it explains it). The hardest? Not sure. Toss up in between the pull ups and the Whittle my Middle.