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My support system (or lack of ) :(

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Today while taking a quiz (of course to claim a spin on the bonus wheel) I chose the quiz that asks you "Are You Prepared to Reach Your Goals?" Well as I am answering the questions I came to # 4 "Who will you turn to when you need encouragement and support?" -- This question gave me pause because I had to answer "I don't know yet" How sad is that?
I cannot ask for support from my sisters or even talk to them about my challenges or successes (never have been able to) because it is either a comment that they don't have time or they are not dealing with sticking with a diet (or life change, or whatever we choose to define it) or they don't want to talk about it. There have been times that I have wanted to share my successes -not often- and I have been shut down b/c they think I am trying to brag and put them on the spot. I don't know but is it possible that they feel threatened or possibly guilty? That is not for me to figure out, I know that. But it is so sad that I have no one that I can physically call, or personly speak to when I just need help. What makes this even sadder it that I HAVE 4 SISTERS.

My mom, God bless her, tells me that I just need self-control and whenever I go to visit there is a ton of sweets that she and my dad have just made or junk food and snacks. Of course they have to offer and insist I have some and then some more. I am not strong enough to "JUST SAY NO" at this point!

I have no friends (my husband scares everyone off) and currently I have no job to go to.

My kids are grown and out of the house and they don't want to talk about "diet" or even successes that I am having. They are boys and they just don't talk about such things. The one encouragement I do get is from my son who many times will walk or hike with me. He even will walk the towpath trail even though he doesn't like it. Oh yes he does let me know. emoticon That is sweet of him.

All-in-all I feel desolate too much of the time.

The only encouragement is from my SparkFriends emoticon emoticon
and it is so nice when out of the blue I recieve a genuine "thumbs up" or words of encouragement.

I usually don't blog a personal journal but that question really got me thinking and at the same time reflecting. I hope you don't give up on me too.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't have any sisters, only two brothers. Instead of family support from them, my sister-in-law, or my nearby cousins, I get ridicule and taunts. I often think that maybe they're right and this is a useless endeavor. It's hard to feel alone on this journey so I depend on my SparkFriends like you do. Right now, I'm wondering how long I'll last, and that's a scary feeling I haven't had since I started Spark. I guess I'm just tired and I'm finding myself giving in to "wants" and eating things I shouldn't and to "don't wants" and giving up on exercise.
    3170 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9948086
    I am in a similar situation. The only big difference is I don't have a husband to drive people away. That must be discouraging. emoticon

    My best advises I can give is for you to take care of you. Don't depend on others to make you feel better about yourself. In my opinion, will power comes from within. Most people who try and sabotage the efforts of others is due to their own insecurity.

    You can do it with or without others cheering you on. But of course you can always come here!

    3175 days ago
  • DBELLE39
    Got your back, you can do this ---never give up or allow anyone to make you think what you are doing to make yourself healthier isn't worth it! You are worth it. We are here for you.
    3176 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3177 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5128667
    What's up with your husband? That's not right!

    Time to stand up and take control of your life - and potentially ditch (if not cut back on contact with) the toxic folk in your life (and yes, that does include unsupportive people (sisters/hubby) and those who send mixed messages (mom)!

    INSPIRE_ME1 has some great ideas you may want to think about.....

    And, job or not, you could really benefit from getting OUT OF THAT HOUSE from time to time - I can totally understand how you'd feel desolate - I would, too!

    Nobody deserves to be treated like they're invisible!

    I will keep you in my best thoughts and wish you all the best! Please know that your fellow Sparkies care!

    3177 days ago
    OK, time for some tough love. Choose some healthy options: 1) socialize out of the house and leave hubby out of it, including post-get together discussion with hubby; when you socialize, discipline yourself to focus on the other people and keep the discussion away from yourself, you will be surprised to discover that it will actually be of much greater comfort to you than if you do it the other way around; 2) pre-eat before family gatherings; 3) put a nice not-so-gooey safe desert in your car for interim and post gathering solace; 4) stop going to dry wells, that includes the 4 mum sisters, the sweetly sabatoging 'rents, and the isolating HB; 5) start over tomorrow with a practical mantra, "what do I need to do to move this thing forward today," and move forward on your dreams. That's the way out of your nightmare. My Dad said that the one thing people need to hear is the one thing they can't hear. Please hear: you cannot please those who withold it. Move forward and be well.

    Blessings to You in Life and in Your Weight Loss Journey!
    You are not alone. But you need to make some changes to Know It!
    3177 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/17/2011 10:44:22 AM
  • CANDY58
    I know how you feel, I don't people that I can turn too either. Spark friends are the best they keep you going, help you through your struggles. You are doing great, keep up the good work emoticon . We are here for you.
    3177 days ago
    It's the first time I visit your blog, but I can assure you everyone in SP is more than happy to be part of your support group! :D
    Many, many people truly want to exchange support and inspiration, as I'm sure you have helped and inspired SP friends yourself!!
    You're doing some great progress, keep going and never, ever give up!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3177 days ago
    emoticon I'm sorry you don't get the support you so richly deserve. It's hard going it alone like that. You're doing so well - keep up the great work. Don't give up on yourself and us Sparkies - nope, we won't give up on you. We're here to offer, give, and receive support.

    Have a fantastic week and congratulations on all your hard work and success so far emoticon
    3177 days ago
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