Trying to Re-commit & re-energize
Saturday, July 16, 2011
This week has been a hot, humid week and shows no sign of letting up anytime soon. I have been in a funk, emotionally. This has been leading me to binge eat and to lean on my Diet Cokes more than I would have liked to.
I am in desperate need to re-commit myself to the cause and re-energize my Spark!
I have been getting out in the morning to do my daily walks with my puppy but then by afternoon, I am fighting my funk again. I have been in alot of pain by afternoon, it is all I can do to lie down and do personal functions.
My family is having a surprise 50th birthday party for my sister, who lives across the country from me. My oldest sister said she "will just swing by and pick me up and take me down with her." My mother, whom passed down most of my medical issues onto me, I thought would understand my feelings. Instead, she said, "take your pain pills and go!" REALLY!! I have seven or more different diagnoses, and sitting in the back of pick-up truck, driving 1000 miles, 13 hours, would be SO much fun! (insert sarcasm!)
I am thinking that this is where much of my recent emotion is coming from and binge eating. I am just so upset that after 10 years, I still cannot get my family to understand that I truly hurt and cannot just turn it on and off at a moment's whim.
Now, I have my entire family on my case that if I do not go, I will be the ONLY one NOT there, other than my mom, who is no longer able to travel due to here pain. Oh the frustration!!
I need to return the focus to myself again, to know that what I need to do is take care of my health and well-being and that by doing so , I am being the best I can be. I know that as the weight comes off, and as I move more, I will feel better. And I also know, binging and getting emotional does not help. I am not sure what I will do with my family. They can either support me or let me go.
But, I do know that I need to re-commit myself and re-energize my Spark! Let the new day begin!!