Yep it's back! ;)
That’s totally been my mantra the last couple of days….well, not really my ‘mantra’ but I’m reminding myself of that as I sit here with my wrapped ankle resting on a banker’s box, my cane at the ready, and my body feeling bloated and icky. It’s been 6 days since I sprained my ankle and while I am getting around easier there’s still pain when I walk (hence the cane). With a sprained ankle I feel the pounds just creeping on with bloat (although, logically I know that’s ridiculous). Now that I’m back at work again this week my water intake is getting back to normal as is food. Still struggling a bit with the food as I realize more and more how much I depend on J to cook. She’s been too busy lately so meals have been sporadic. I took out a chicken breast from the freezer yesterday with the goal to cook it myself for supper. I managed to make a nice chicken salad which we will have tonight for dinner. We’ll see how this goes. lol
But I’ve totally digressed…..back to topic. I brought sexy back! Can’t you tell?!? Let me explain……finally! I can tell the story! It’s so exciting! Joce turned 40 this year and for her birthday present I decided to have boudoir photos taken of myself for her….
I KNOW, HEY?!?! BOUDOIR PHOTOS!!! What the heck?!?!
I got the idea from my sister who had it done a few years ago. Her pictures looked amazing and I toyed with the idea of doing it for a while. I knew J would LOVE It and would never, ever guess that that’s what I was getting for her birthday. ;) Because….mainly…..It’s SO not me…..I mean, come on, most days I still have the brain of a 265 pound overweight, don’t look at me, no photos woman who wouldn’t step into a lingerie store for all the money in the world.
But I did….step into a lingerie store, that is. :D I remember the day. I went to La Vie en Rose looking for an outfit for the photo shoot. J was out of town and I needed something. It felt so weird but wonderful at the same time going into that store. I tried on these little outfits and bra and panty sets and they fit! I decided on a black slip dress with a little bling on the straps. I remember buying it and trying not to cry. I wasn’t crying because I paid too much (splurging I did!) but because the whole experience was surreal. I was in a lingerie store trying on lingerie and then…..buying an XL slip dress….and it wasn’t a plus size store….like Addition-Elle lingerie, or Pennington’s lingerie….this was a specifically lingerie only store with my size….. and La Vie en Rose to boot. And I looked dang hawt!!!!!
So I cried when I got to the car…..kinda looked at the La Vie bag in disbelief. I got home and hung the dress in the back of the closet where she couldn’t see….along with a man’s shirt (sexy back baby). And I was ready for this photo shoot.
I was nervous…..as I said, totally out of my element. It did not help at all that the photographer had to postpone the shoot. It was to be the end of May which was a perfect time for me. J was still away, the book of prints would be ready by her July birthday…..but that was not to be. She postponed til the end of June….. So I built up the nervousness a couple of times. It also didn’t help that the photos were going to be taken in a hotel room of a hotel that I had never been to before. I’m just not good at driving but particularly to places I’ve never been to before in the city. So yeah, that day I was a ball of nerves…….and I couldn’t tell J about it. This would have been definitely something we would have celebrated together (my doing this), she would have driven me and calmed my nerves. But I did it on my own, found the place, found a parking spot, and did it and was glad I did.
The shoot itself went great. One girl did my hair and makeup and then another girl took the shots. The photographer really made me feel comfortable and my nerves were pretty much gone once she started telling me (or directing me really) which outfit to put on and how to pose….smile or no smile. I would say I was feeling good when she suggested I go topless at one point and I said sure. lol (k, you’re not seeing that pic)…..
All in all it was a great experience. I did it as a gift for my wife…..who was totally speechless and cried by the way when she saw the pics……but it was also a gift to me. It gave me the gift of reminding me that I am sexy, I have nerves of steel and can do anything. I’m not at my goal weight yet and you know, some days feel like ‘2 steps forward, 3 steps back’ (or 2 steps forward, go boom and then you’re not moving at all!!! lol)…….but then some days I just gotta enjoy my 90 or so pounds gone, and celebrate them and look dang sexy NOW…..which I do…..swollen ankle or not. My cane’s pretty sexy, you should see it….purple with flowers. Oh yeah, I’m bringing sexy back.