Get thee behind me...

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Today this biblical verse came to mind:

"Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get thee behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me..."
Matthew 16:23 NIV

I'm not going to discuss religious views or anything here, I'm going to get on my soap box about people who claim to support you but will attempt to sabotage you when you are trying to do something to better yourself.
In this verse, Jesus used the word Satan as another name for an adversary, or one who is attempting to prevent us from accomplishing something.
Have you ever had friends or family that claims to be happy and supportive of your fitness goals, but then in turn criticize certain actions, or your progress? Maybe you have heard comments such as:
"You work out too much, you should take a break."
"Why are you punishing yourself? You need to relax."
"You've lost enough weight, you can eat whatever you want now."
I believe that comments like this are a term we use in the Marine Corps called "velvet daggers."
Yes it sounds like your friend or family member are just looking out for you, but instead they may be saying it out of jealousy for your hard work--possibly causing them too look at the lack of concern of their own physical fitness and wellbeing.
When you realize that you possibly could have been a victim of a velvet dagger, you may feel hurt and betrayed, even pissed off that someone that you felt like you could trust would deliberately try to sabotage your goals.
I have 5 tips on how to overcome this:
1. Take a moment to assess the situation. This isn't a time to over react and start fights, why should you?
2. Remember why you started this healthy lifestyle journey in the first place. You may have made a list of how working out, eating healthy and losing weight will benefit you. This is the time to look at your list again as a refresher.
3. Decide if this is worth discussing with your friend or family member. It is up to you if you think you should confront this individual on why would they have an issue with your progress. Sometimes the best decision is to ignore and move on.
4. Do not allow the incident to consume you. If you dwell on the statement made, you may allow your frustrations to cause you to make the wrong decision, like maybe you should eat a bag of candy since you've lost 5 pounds...thus setting you back in your progress.
5. Depend on yourself for motivation. The reality is the number one person that can motivate you is YOU--do not heavily rely on others to be your support system. It is nice to have cheerleaders on the sidelines, but strive to be your own biggest supporter in your mission to live a healthy and peaceful life.

I know that it is by my own actions that I will either accomplish this goal or I will fail--it is no one's success or failure but mine--that motivates me to keep going. It also reduces the affect of those who deliberately want to see me stumble.
So instead of punching someone in the head today, I will turn the other cheek and focus on my goals that will cause some amazing transformations in my life.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD8884876
    Great advice! And, by the way, I've seen a lot of personal growth in you over the past few months ~ WAY TO GO ~!

    I'm one of your biggest fans/cheerleaders on the sidelines!!! Your journey has been great to watch, and I'm confident that it will continue to be.

    Thanks for inspiring me and others as you've overcome numerous obstacles on the path to your goal!

    3525 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8127967
    well said, beautiful blog....good luck on your goals don't you dare stop. emoticon
    3526 days ago
    Great blog and I love the term 'velvet daggers!'

    The reality is change can make people uncomfortable and when we change, the people around us sometimes react out of their own fear or uncomfort.

    Your suggestions for responding to the 'velvet daggers' are great. Basically, stay focused on your goals, your own emotions and don't 'own' anyone else's responses. It is indeed your own actions that will bring results!


    3526 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6295915
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon This is an incredible blog. I love how you give sensible advice to the situations we all face at one point or another in our journey to better health.
    I have had family members try some of the velvet daggers you described so i am going to save this information for later reference.
    3526 days ago
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