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There Is No 'Weight' in Sexy

Monday, July 11, 2011

Lately I've found myself struggling with a negative self-image and low self-confidence. I zip around SparkPeople reading motivational blogs and articles about nutrition, all these great things to help get my butt off the couch and eat well...

...and then I step out of the shower, naked, and face myself in the full-length mirror that covers my bathroom wall. And every blog, every article that I've read about motivation and healthy eating and exercise ceases to exist in the face of that reality. The folds of fat around my middle, the girth of my hips and lack of tone in my arms all scream out to me: YOU ARE FAT.

Therefore, you are ugly.

WTF. Right?!?

One of my primary reasons for losing weight is to feel HAWT again. I want to rock the body I had when I was 23, I want to wear hooker boots and size 6 skinny jeans and totally conform to every socially acceptable idea of sexy. I had a light flirtation with a very nice, fit, good looking man in the grocery store not too long ago. I joked, he laughed, and the little devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear: “You are too fat for him. There’s no way a good looking guy like that would ever go for a fat slob like you!” Girls, I put the vibe out, I could feel it. He wanted to ask for my number and my body was screaming STOP, BACK AWAY! to the tune of that unmentionable song by Nine Inch Nails (you know the one…). Looking back, I can’t blame him – my hormones were saying yes but my self-image was getting in the way.

According to, sexy is defined as (adjective):
1. Concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué (CHECK – definitely have that one covered!)
2. Sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality (!!!!!!!!!)
3. Excitingly appealing; glamourous (think sexy red convertible)

Huh. Nothing about weight; in fact, nothing about the shape or size of a person’s body at all. Can a person radiate sexuality without being a size 6?!

HELL YES. Perfect example: my younger sister is HAWT. She weighs about 40 pounds more than me and she’s sex appeal on two legs. She’s tits and ass and great hair and long eyelashes. She can snap her chubby fingers at any guy she wants and get him.

Because Sexy is an ATTITUDE. Sexy is confidence, it’s appeal and mind-set and self-assurance! And THAT is hawt!

Don't wait to be sexy, don't think that sexy will come after you've lost --- pounds. Know that you are hot NOW, just the way you are, and you will radiate sexiness!

I’m drawing my line in the sand and gathering my resolve – because I AM sexy. I am sexy enough for any guy, and I don’t need to lose 60 pounds to prove it!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have no idea how much I needed to read this. I was JUST talking to my roommate about how, in spite of having lost 85 lbs, I still feel "fat." I only have about 20 or 25 left to lose, but when I look in the mirror I don't see a size 10 girl. I see loose skin in my inner thighs, loose skin by my armpits and over my elbows, and I groan audibly at how unattractive I feel.

    But you know what? You're right. This struggle, for me anyway, is mostly with how the opposite sex views me. Although I feel confident some days, I still feel that I'm repulsive to men because I have yet to be honestly approached by one (aside from one guy who wanted to have a friends with benefits relationship with me :P). So, when I put myself out there, I think there is ALWAYS going to be someone prettier, smarter, sexier, more alluring, and THINNER than me that can attract the guy I'm interested in in a heartbeat. But I never for a second believe that that girl can be me.

    You've really given me something to think about and reflect on. Thanks for that. :) I think I'm going to try my hardest this week to give myself a little credit where credit is due.
    2486 days ago
    Well this rocks. I need to read this over and over again b/c I do not feel sexy at the weight I am. Very seldom. So thx for posting this. :)
    2486 days ago
    What an amazing blog post! I always need to remind myself that if I am not sexy, why is it that I can't apply a tan-in-a-bottle and let it dry without my fiance attacking me? Lol!

    You bring up such a good point. Sexy IS a frame of mind and people can tell when you believe you are a hottie- hell, they are attracted more to the attitude than the bod sometimes. don't we all know someone who is physically the most accepted verision of beauty but annoying and waaay too self-depreciating? Yeah. I'd rather be me with all my lumps and curves than that girl.

    Thanks for the mood boost! :)
    2487 days ago
    emoticon emoticon and emoticon
    2525 days ago
  • MARY1313
    You are so right honey! Sexy is an attitude! I think you are hawt!!! I love the way you look, you are so beautiful!!!

    2534 days ago
    Shut the barn door! Amen to that!

    I woke up this morning in a very "fat" mood. I know from past experiences that this is only a mood and moods are fleeting.

    And, I was right. I am no longer feelin' FAT. More like PHAT!

    Fabulous blog, as always.
    2534 days ago
    2534 days ago
  • CAALAN23
    Sexy is being comfortable in your own skin. Like that faded pair of jeans that just fits perfectly. They can be any size, mind you, but you know when something makes you look good. You can feel it.

    Sexy is walking tall, shoulders back, hips forward swagger. Anyone can strut it.

    Sexy is looking through one's lashes and thinking that thought and knowing that other person knows just what that thought is.

    For the record, schweets, you have always been HAWT. Stop looking in the mirror at some momentary snapshot of you just standing. You are vivacious, salacious and hungry and no amount of standing in the mirror is going to show you that moment, that snapshot of life that the guy in the grocery store sees.

    Hell, I'm pretty sure you can lose 60 pounds when you work the sexy right. ;)

    2535 days ago
  • JADE465
    Yes, yes, yes! We are sexy. This post has made me very happy. Thank you.
    2535 days ago
    2535 days ago
    I think it may be one reason many people are overweight. We try too hard to conform to what society thinks is sexy, so when we can't do it, we stuff our emotions with food. Why is sexy the term we use to describe a fit body, I am sick of sexy. Hollywood and the fashion industries often perpetuate very unhealthy ideas and too many people are influenced by these people who have not one ounce of common sense. We need to boycott these ideals and just be happy with being healthy and wise;)
    2535 days ago
    This is amazing!! I never looked at sexy this way before. You are freaking sexy, I am freaking sexy, and even though we both have 60 pounds to lose (well, 63 for me), we're freaking sexy no matter WHAT our weight.
    2535 days ago
    You have a great point!
    For what its worth, this is a motivating thought. I've just printed this and it'll be going up on my bathroom mirror.
    2535 days ago
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