To the Sparkliest Sparking Sparkly Sparker ... from a newbie

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Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Oh hi Sparkerson. You again. Heh. You're all svelte and thin, bragging about the hot men following you around, your dynamic career, your amazing life. OF COURSE you ran 15 miles before work today. OF COURSE you haven't eaten out of your calorie range in a month. OF COURSE you had steamed veggies and grilled fruit to celebrate your birthday. Damn Sparkleson.
Oh how motivating you are! Your one liners and 'go for it' quips. What do you know about going for it? What do you know about wearing worn out workout clothes because you can never find any to fit at the store? What do you know about eating so much it hurts and then eating more because you're pissed off at yourself?
Yeah, I am having a bad day. There were treats at the office so I had three brownies and no one talks to me at the gym and I look like a total dork running as slow as I do. I can't lift the body weight of my yorkie let alone YOU. My back hurts and neck hurts and feet hurt and actually, I *don't* love working out. I hate going to the gym and fat bulging out of my clothes. I hate going out on dates and wondering if he thinks I'm too fat for this dress. I hate walking into a work meeting and noticing immediately that I am the fattest person at the table.
Actually it has been this way my whole life. My parents encouraged me to diet. I was the last picked for teams in gym class. Finding a prom dress was a nightmare, let alone a date. Fat has defined me all my life.
It's not like *you* know anything about that.
Wait what's that? You weighed 280 pounds once, more than I do now? Your BMI was 40% and your doctor lectured you about high blood pressure? You threw up the first time you ran around the block? You couldn't fit on airplanes or amusement park rides? You didn't have a boyfriend or a date or sex for three years? You were the fat one amongst your friends left in the plus size department while everyone else went to Forever 21? You didn't get a PR job because no one wants a fat spokesperson?
But, but ... you look amazing! Your muscles are hot, and I can't believe you have washboard abs. Your boyfriend is super hot ... and your man-on-the-side hotter! Your career has taken off and you're starting your own business!
How can it be that you were THAT person?
How can it be that you were ... *ME*? That you were once in the SAME PLACE I AM.
Huh. Well gosh, thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Sparkleson. And motivate me and care about me. I can't believe you've been where I am. Guess it goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.
I'm glad we're all in this together.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This made me happy and sad because I am finally making this Sparking work but, there are soooo many people in my family that could benefit from this and choose not to. I sincerely know how hard every day is to balance life with good food choices and diet but, it is doable. It's all of our health at stake. Thank you for the reminder to model our best behaviors but know everyone must find there own way along this journey.

    I am sending you the healthiest wishes.
    2010 days ago
    Very well said.
    2279 days ago
    Thanks for the reminder that lots of sparkers are still at the beginning. I don't ever want to forget how hard it was and how it felt before I lost weight...or to ever sound glib and insensitive to what others are going through.
    2309 days ago
    That's a great post. I loved it.
    2310 days ago
    Thanks for the encouraging words. What an awesome view. emoticon
    2323 days ago
    Thank you for that. It was very inspiring :) emoticon

    I have been walking in your shoes for some time now.
    2364 days ago
    Awesome post...!
    2365 days ago
  • DOOOD_
    This is a really unique take and a great read. Thank you! :)
    2373 days ago
    Sorry it took me so long to read your blog! I had it in my inbox all this time and was trying to catch up on all the spark emails.

    Loved what you wrote.

    I wish you all the luck in the world achieving your goals here on SP! emoticon
    2378 days ago
  • KZD2008
    You can and are doing it! It's not a diet but a change in life. It takes work but boy are you worth it! Be proud of your efforts and never give up even when you take steps backwards.
    2383 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your words about self with us
    No cannot say was ever in your spot most have ever let my weight get to was the 206 number posted with SP and that has been almost a total of three years ago so have been taking it off .25 at a time do belong to a TOPS chapter so weigh in weekly with them
    Do not get discouraged when the weight does not come off as fast as you would like it to your great attitude will see you through
    One day at a time
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2388 days ago
    Well done :)
    2389 days ago
    The truth will set you free!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2400 days ago
    2406 days ago
  • REVELS888
    Hahaha, that just put a big smile on my face - Cheers for that! emoticon
    2419 days ago
    WOW - and I remember when . . . tipping the scales a hundred pounds ago . . .
    Now at 230 or 240 ish - I don't keep tight track of my pounds - only weigh myself once a month - I still have a hard time getting going in the mornings. (My dog Dexter is a great motivator, because whatever the weather is, he still has to pee.)
    I had a down month in July. By the end of June I had lost 102 pounds, so I spent all July sort of celebrating.
    I didn't even weigh myself in August.
    But really you can tell who your real friends are. I spent this last 3 days at my girlfriend's house (painting, moving furniture, etc., etc., etc.) - and she is a master chef.
    She built meals for everyone that were healthy and fun, and gave me a plate with smaller portions. I wish I had someone to figure out portions for me at home, she gets IT right. When I have finished that amount I am full.
    And Lynda is full of compliments about how much slimmer I look.
    She gave me a HUGE bag of clothes (she's French and LOVES fashion) and tells me I will be into them before Christmas, and she can't wait until she sees me in them! This includes about 4 bikinis (really have to mull that concept over) other great tops, jammies that are soft and sweet, one black svelte floor length nightie (va-voom!) and handfuls of cashmere and other very soft sweaters, girly tops, deep V necks (ooh la la!) and great amazing fun and sexy (not fat) clothes. I feel like a new woman!
    I realize I have been wearing 'old lady' clothes for the last 35 years.
    Now at 61, I am turning into a hottie!
    I walk, gently jog, swim, and try to plan all my activities so I am as physical as possible.
    And if I didn't have Spark People motivating me, and great friends like Lynda opening my eyes about myself, I never would have made it this far.
    I KNOW you will be successful and happy 'doing IT' for the rest of your life.
    Go for it, you have a world of people behind you, urging you on every new step - about 10 million of them, I think, so far . . .
    Keep Looking UP!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2429 days ago
    We've all felt like this at some time, right?! Thanks for bringing it to light. All things ARE POSSIBLE.
    2431 days ago
    Great blog!
    2433 days ago
    A great post, probably something we have all thought at one point or another.
    Thanks and keep up the good work :)
    2438 days ago
    Putting yourself down is not the key answer
    to solving your problems.

    Keeping a positive attitude is the answer if
    you ever want to suceed in life. You need to
    tell yourself three little words and those
    three little words are: "I CAN DO IT". So be
    strong and think positive not negative. Be-
    cause you have more friends out there than
    you may realize.
    2441 days ago
    That was way good to read what you said. I'm still looking for my smaller body...again. I used to have it but it seemed to have run away from me and left me with double-digit sizes and low self-esteem. I think that I'm still looking for the person that you found. Where are they?
    2441 days ago
    wonderful post..n yes we have either been there or are still there...we will do this together..n we will love it while doing it..u r a wonderful writer emoticon
    2444 days ago
    Thank you for putting in to words what I have so often thought.
    2448 days ago
    Awesome post!!! Made my day.
    2448 days ago
    emoticon great blog great sense of humor
    2449 days ago
    I swear I read this before lol I think it was all in my mind but never wrote it down!Thanks for telling it like it is!
    But I've read a lot of blogs,newbies oldies etc, the bottom line is people are here for you! emoticon
    2449 days ago
    I got the chills reading your post - thank you for saying what many of us feel or have felt. I'm just starting out & have so far to go, but I can tell this is just the sort of wonderful, supportive place that can keep a person motivated for the long haul. We can do this - together! emoticon
    2449 days ago
    NICE!! Just what I needed today. Also, LOVE the hot pink background of your page!!!

    Keep it up.

    Pam Wodrich
    2449 days ago
    I've done fairly well with Sparkpeople, though I'm struggling to get back into where I know I should be. Thanks for the reminder of where I once was and that to get back to where I have been healthy is a daily decision.
    2449 days ago
    WOW! I know that road! Only to well, but now I have tools, choices and determination. I have family support and am hoping to find a SP buddy. We are in this together!
    2449 days ago
    thanks for the good post, i can definitely relate :) emoticon
    2449 days ago
    Great blog!! -Shanna emoticon
    2449 days ago
  • IAM_HIS2
    Great blog--you are not alone & so understood. No special demands on you here, no embarrassing weigh ins, no struggling to keep up exercising with slim, trim gals, no wanting to hide because you're the heaviest in your exercise outfit--no you feel safe here.

    2451 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/6/2011 1:05:29 PM
    2451 days ago
    I sure heard you and understood, cried, smiled and felt your honesty and pain! But you're right, we, are not alone and here is where we belong and need to stay!
    Together we can do this! emoticon
    2452 days ago
    2452 days ago
    A great, inspirational blog with humor and compassion! We've probably all been there (I'm still there!)!!. But, I'm "back on the wagon" and moving forward again...Thanks for your candid comments. emoticon
    2453 days ago
    Great blog and GREAT job. I need the inspiration!
    2453 days ago
    Great read. Thanks. Very motivating.
    2453 days ago
    This is a great blog. Thanks for the humour and the truth!!

    2454 days ago
    Awesome ! I absolutely loved this. emoticon
    2454 days ago
    Isn't it nice to know you are not alone in this journey?
    2454 days ago
  • WINNIE1978
    Thanks for the reminder that just because someone looks great now, it doesn't mean that they always did or that they don't know what the rest of us are going through. Some people started before the rest of us and have already reached their goals. That should motivate the rest of us to reach ours too instead of making us feel inferior or envious. We will get there too if we just keep moving, one step at a time.
    2454 days ago
    For all the newbies out there, you are an inspiration. We all need to be healthier and with honesty we can do it. Even on our worst days.
    2454 days ago
    Great Blog! Honest and motivating!
    2455 days ago
  • WEN__B
    ugh... ive felt like that all my life...thanks for writing it =)
    2455 days ago
    Loved this. Absolutely perfect, funny and sweet while avoiding sappiness. It is inspiring when you see someone who was once the size you are having achieved the goal of being a healthy weight.
    2455 days ago
  • MISSLISA1973
    It really is motivating to see others SUCCEEDING. Not some commercial on TV for some pill, but real people fighting the same battles. I've lost nearly 30 pounds, and barely realized it until I was over 25 pounds! I was just doing what we do on SparkPeople and losing significant weight in the process. And the thing is, YOU CAN DO IT too! WooHoo!
    emoticon emoticon
    2455 days ago
    It may look impossible but we need to take baby steps. Eat what you love but cut the portion down. Just don't think of loosing weight but think of all the postive thing you can do. Walk a little more each day. Eat better food each day. When you do this tell your brain you are being good to yourself. Your brain will slowly do the changes for you.
    And yes we all have bad days like this. In Gym just give a smile to each person you meet. They will remember your smile (you have a beautiful smile) and this will make their day. Just giving this little pleasure will make you friends as you will be soon saying hello to some of these people.
    2455 days ago
  • BEAR429
    Thank you. Your post was truly touching and just what I needed today.
    2455 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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