Why I Need to be Here, Now.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

It's been a bit of a struggle these past couple of weeks! I know I've shared this here already, but food has been a little messy lately. Although I'm active enough that I can eat a good deal and "get away" with it, this doesn't mean that this is what I SHOULD do or really WANT to do to my body. Food has been a struggle for me most of my life, something I "use" to avoid feelings I don't want to feel or deal with, a destructive sort of crutch that I've worked hard to get away from. And lately, I find myself turning back to the food--definitely to avoid feeling some things and working on things I need to work on.

Staying present to feelings can be hard! But I need to do it. It is, by far, the most fulfilling, the most simple, and the most unfettered way for me to live, even when it's difficult or unpleasant.

And the good news is, I don't have to work through it all alone! :-) Among other lovely and strong support systems, I have this community. I definitely need to be present to it more regularly right now as I work on this next step.

Hope all is well with you and yours, sparkfriends.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think you have taken a very healthy step in writing this blog and admitting this to yourself and us! Way to go! Your support system is here! Don't be afraid to use it! emoticon
    3026 days ago
    The fact that you're aware of the struggle is the biggest step in conquering it. Glad to see you here every now and then :)
    3027 days ago
    Love you! :) Yep we are guilty of being "too nice", "yes people" and now we got to face our true feelings and handle them before we cover it up with food.
    3027 days ago
  • BANAN2
    I haven't heard of anyone who hasn't had to wrestle with an "inner saboteur" once the get further into maintenance. I think it's a little demon closely related to the little brat who told us that eating too much "just this once" wouldn't have any effect when we got too fat in the first place. I guess we can never let our guard down and say, "Well, now I've got THAT licked!" But noticing right away and seriously addressing the issue is a great first step. Maybe now that you completed the triathlon you were training so hard for, you are needing a new fitness goal so that you will get that reward when you achieve what you are striving for. I don't know. It just seems like that little "reward center" in the brain might be a part of this. Keep us posted about what you discover as you try to figure this out... hopefully we will all eventually be at goal and trying to maintain and can benefit from whatever you figure out!
    3027 days ago
    if you journal your feelings (even privatley) it will help you to keep attention on them, and changing your response to them.
    3027 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    I do believe we all need each other! You are not alone!
    3028 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/6/2011 10:52:55 PM
    Hugs friend. You're already recognizing your habit by being here and writing through it. One day at a time. Really, that's all we can do. It's still a struggle but we'll beat it because we have one another's back. Stay strong!
    3028 days ago
    I think this is a lesson that we all need to keep practicing over and over until, with lots of time, it becomes an ingrained habit, much like the overeating was.

    So, just keep practicing, stop every now and then and do a self-reassessment and keep on Sparking.

    You've done a marvelous job so far.


    3028 days ago
    hey girl, keep working at it, we are all definitely here for you & understand your struggles! sending much love!
    3028 days ago
    The great thing about SparkPeople is that it's always here when we need it. Good to hear from you!
    3028 days ago
    I spent hours, literally , talking to a fellow-sparker about the same subject this morning. Sometimes those of us who reach our destination, whether it be a goal weight or dress size, realise that this was not the real issue for us after all.

    I am also a food and drink abuser and I use them to avoid dealing with the real issues at hand. I just wanted to tell you that I know what you're going through and I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to.

    Take care,
    Elen xxx
    3028 days ago
    First of all I dont mean to compare the fantastic and amazing success you've had with anything I've done. Your accomplishments are something I set as a goal to reach and my admiration for you knows no bounds.

    That being said, I notice a trend. I see so many people having a relativley smooth, albeit long journey in losing weight and pure hell in maintaining the loss. I think it has a lot to do with the pressure of maintaining a standard we are not used to and when we encounter some obstacles we are remiss to deal with them.

    For my part, I'd like to see more reflection at Spark on what you should do once you arrive at your goal.

    That being said, I am here if you need me.
    3028 days ago
    I totally agree with "the most fulfilling, the most simple, and the most unfettered way". Funny how simple can be soooo hard sometimes! hehe :o)

    Keep up the good work! emoticon
    3028 days ago
    I'm so glad to hear from you! I have similar issues with food. Just know that I'm here for you!!! emoticon
    3028 days ago
  • FREES1
    old habits are hard to break but you can do it!!!

    and you need to be here because we like having you around!
    3028 days ago
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