25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 25,221

Endometrial Cancer

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

I went to my doctors appointment today to get my staples removed from surgery and to get the results of the biopsy of the tumor. I was lead to believe that I was dealing with ovarian cancer that I was in stage one and that I would be needing a light treatment of chemo. Well that didnt happen I could tell by the look on my doctors face there was something wrong. She told me that it wasnt ovarian cancer as she thought that it turned out to be endometrial cancer and that I am in stage 3a and wants me to start chemotherapy.

I have to tell you the truth I just sat there, like a deer in the headlights I couldnt believe what she was telling me everything after that it was like she was talking in a foreign language I heard nothing understood nothing. Then the tears came it was like someone hit me in the stomach. She was going on about how she wants me to try clincial trials a type of research study.

She goes on to say today most women with endometrial cancer whose cancer has spread outside the uterus generally receive chemotherapy. Women who have disease outside the uterus may also receive radiation to the areas where the disease has spread. It is not clear whether giving chemotherapy alone or together with radiation is the best treatment. This study is being conducted to determine if radiation therapy combined with chemotherapy administered for a total of 4 cycles offers a benefit over chemotherapy alone administered over 6 cycles.

So Im left with a decision to make do I go for this clinical trail and let them do there research on me or do I just get the standard chemotherapy done??? Questions one after another on top of dealing with what she just told me, what do I do? I said to myself do as you have always done go to Jesus.

This takes me to a sermon that I heard on the Gethsemane Prayer in
Matthew 26:36

"Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray"

In this prayer Jesus is very lonely betrayed abandoned denied facing death suffering hurting and it was the most painful moment in Jesus life. He knew the wrath of God was going to be placed upon him. What does he do here he asks his friends to intercede for him as he goes and talks to the Father.

What do you do when your life gets dark and faced with trials and storms in your life? Do you run to him to talk to him?

Jesus is devasted and sad here and its ok to be devasted and sad about what you are going through but his greatest longing for us is that we go to the Father when the doctor says you have cancer or that your spouse is leaving dont pretend here go to the Father just like Jesus and talk it out with him..Pray like Jesus

I love the brutal honesty of the scriptures. God becomes a man and he goes where we go and he goes to a depth of sorrow that few of us will ever taste. What does he say he says "Not as I will but as you will" So what am I going to do? Im going to the Father and tell him how Im feeling, tell him what my desires are and then say "Not my will but as you will"

Prayer is about aligning our will with Gods will its about coming to agree with God. Its not me coming to God telling him what to do its me excepting what God has called me to do, its not me changing God its about God changing me. Its about me developing a willingness to except that God is both sovereign and good. God is in control and he is good when you pray for the Fathers will you are in faith saying:

"You are in charge not I and you are good even if it doesnt feel like it and even if I dont see it."

We dont see all that God is doing the bible asks us "Who knows the mind of the Lord" God is expecting no one to raise there hand because we dont know. So in your prayer time and in mine I will always say even now "Father your will be done".

Jesus First emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    God is Love....
    2073 days ago
    I love your sparkpage with Jesus's hug for us all. I praying for you...remember Jesus first. Without our faith in the Lord we have nothing....Amen and Know that Jesus is with you all the way.

    3311 days ago
    Dear Sister in Christ, I was very touched by your faith in Jesus as expressed so beautifully in you intro on your page. Your whole sparkpage and blog is glorifying to the Lord. I am sad for your present health situation. But I see that your faith will sustain you. Because it's Him that does the sustaining.

    I will be praying for you in this matter.
    You are so right on about aligning up with GOD's will.
    He is totally sovereign! He knows the end from the beginning. He has you in the palm of His hand. No matter the outcome of this cancer, you are HIS. You will be with HIM no matter if it's soon or after many, many years. He is our exceeding great reward.

    Keep being a light to His working within you. May the Lord use you to bring many to Him.
    3312 days ago
    I haven't spoken with you in quite some time but I've never forgotten you. You are a wonderful representation of WWJD. You are always uplifting and supportive of all of "us". I want you to know that I will be thinking about you continuously and will be praying for you the same way. I would do anything I could to help you and I truly believe that praying for you is the absolute best thing. Your friend, Marcia emoticon
    3313 days ago
  • 1GROVES2
    Sorry to hear you are having more health problems....Just cling to Jesus....He is the Only Way.
    3313 days ago
    You are the Real Deal, my friend. Faith is you. Faith stands firm when its sunshine and daisies blooming. Faith stands firm when clouds darken and storms brew unexpectedly. Faith says, "My Lord, no matter what comes, no matter the outcome, I believe in you, I KNOW you are WITH me and will carry me in the palm of your Righteous Hand through this, and all things according to your Perfect Will."
    Dearest Griff, I love you dearly and will be lifting you up daily in prayer. I pray that God's will be done and that you, and each of us who live in admiration, hope, joy, and delight because we know you, can receive peace that transcends understanding and a determination to gather and pray without ceasing on your behalf.
    God loves Griff. This, I know...

    3314 days ago
    Griff, it is by God that we share such an intimate friendship, and i thank him for talking to you right after your appointment.

    When I found of I had uveitis many years ago and was told it leads to blindness without being cured, or without responding to treatment and surgeries, I was so afraid I would become blind. That day I must have asked myself 100 times, what if I become blind? I was 29 years old back then (42 years old now). I did not know what would happen in the future but I knew my life was about to change. That day while I was talking to God I told Him, God I accept anything that happens to my eyes. If it is your will that I become blind I will become the best blind person ever! Later the day I prayed and asked for healing, and God's peace stained me the rest of that day and into the next three years. You know the rest on my story, it is on my page and I have shared it with you on the phone. It is when we accept God's will I believe it is then that God can put us in another place.
    we accept his will and we experience His will, and He gives us grace and peace through this as well. It is a lovely thing and God's beauty can be seen and experienced through it.
    3316 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/7/2011 5:06:19 PM
    Sorry for your news. Keep JESUS first and check in with Him,but also check out Cancer Centers of America before decisions are made , tere is a lot of information that is current and support . emoticon emoticon
    3317 days ago
  • KAYDE53
    You always have a way of blessing & comforting us more than we can bless or comfort you, dear sister!! Just let Jesus be your comfort, strength, and your rock!! I'm praying for you and for all these decisions that you'll be making!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3317 days ago
    This is not at all the report I expected, and I know you did not, either. I am so thankful for the gift of faith, because were I to rely upon my own faith, I would be sunk. The faith Jesus gives us is not affected by what doctors say but by what HE says, and He says He will never leave you and never forsake you. He sticks closer than a brother. Wherever this journey is taking you, Jesus is within you, living through you, reaching out to those around you, drawing them to Himself, and for that I rejoice. I align myself with Jesus and am sticking close to you, my friend, as your sister, praying a holy hedge of protection around you, trusting the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you as well as your doctor in making these decisions that will ultimately place you smack dab in the center of where God is working. Peace, peace, peace, dear one, feel it wash over you, body, soul, and spirit, as the very breath of God kisses your being while He whispers love-filled sweet everythings to you.

    *hugs* and much love,

    3317 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10005048
    Oh Sweetheart, I am so sorry about the news. I will hold you in my prayers. Please rest and let the Lord hold you. Take the weight off your shoulders and let him shoulder it. Answers will come to you. Please keep us posted.
    Your friend
    3317 days ago
  • BIGDAD1211
    You know, you always say "Jesus First" and now I see that you just don't sat it, you mean! You are right my friend, God's Will is perfect and true and Our Lord and Savior knew that even as He was about to face something we will never truly understand until we meet Him in Heaven. I love that verse that say Not My Will but Your Will Father. Jesus is teaching us that we have to pray according to His will and not ours. I am standing with you in prayer my friend.And thank you again for being the other piece of iron that helps to sharpen me and to remind me that faith is better than burnt offerings and that without it, we have nothing.
    Jesus First
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3317 days ago
    Oh, Griff, you have left me in tears...tears of humility and truth. Your words have also witnessed to me once again! I'm sure that is also part of our Father's will right there. "If I could even touch one person by my witness" is what I remember saying to myself since I was a very little child. You continue to carry His light and emulate it to the world. Now, I will pray...for you, your heart, strength, and most of all, God's will. I love you sister and am reaching out to give you a hug. emoticon
    3318 days ago
    I hear your heart and I am strengthened by your Faith. Turn your eyes upon Jesus.Amen. I will be praying for you, dear friend. Know that you are greatly loved..

    3318 days ago
    I admire your courage! I will be praying for you!!!!
    3318 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by GRIFF2734