Weird mental block -- KAPOW!
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
I came home so tired today. Not enough sleep last night, then a crash after too much caffeine. At 9:30 I forced myself to play the cello so that I could finish by 10 and not disturb the neighbours past a reasonable hour.
Didn't want to do it, but did it anyway. Just played some songs I know pretty well. AND IT WOKE ME UP! Why do I forget how the cello TRANSPORTS ME INTO ANOTHER EMOTIONAL STATE?
I think of it as something I SHOULD do, so I resist a little. And when I finally force myself, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. What is the deal with the whole resisting, procrastinating and forgetting how good it makes me feel? What is the freaking deal with that? WHAAAAAAAAAT IS UP WITH THAT??????
Sorry for yelling, but I'm all perky from the cello and totally perplexed by my own ridiculous mental patterns!
And I think there is a lesson to be learned about exercise here.....
I swear I'll figure it out someday. I'm not dumb -- just very stubborn and a little slow sometimes.